The Smile & Laughter Clinic.
- Thread starter Sandpiper
- Start date
Good to laugh
Hey Sandpiper,
Haven't been on here for a while - have posted lengthy update and explanation earlier today. But thought I would search for you and your jokes, and they still make me chuckle. The one you posted on 18th June about the obituary really made me smile because Mum and I had a funny conversation when we visited my Dad's grave last sunday, Father's Day. There is a bench close to his grave, so I always take a flask with a tot of something in it, and we sit and chat both to him and about him, after we have tidied the grave and arranged the flowers. My Mum's name is Doreen, and my son's have always called her Nanny Dor. At the end of Dad's name, dates etc, we had a little saying engraved on the headstone - "We loved you so much, but we miss you more". A very daft idea came to me as we both sat there, and I started to laugh. Mum asked what was I laughing at (I'm afraid we are often giggling when we go to the grave, Mum always says he wouldn't want us to be miserable). I said to Mum, 'When you finally go, I'm just going to have "And here she is, Nanny Dor"! engraved below the "We loved you so much, but we miss you more". We both nearly fell off the bench, and got some very strange looks from the other visitors. I thought this would maybe appeal to your sense of humour Sandpiper?
Hey Sandpiper,
Haven't been on here for a while - have posted lengthy update and explanation earlier today. But thought I would search for you and your jokes, and they still make me chuckle. The one you posted on 18th June about the obituary really made me smile because Mum and I had a funny conversation when we visited my Dad's grave last sunday, Father's Day. There is a bench close to his grave, so I always take a flask with a tot of something in it, and we sit and chat both to him and about him, after we have tidied the grave and arranged the flowers. My Mum's name is Doreen, and my son's have always called her Nanny Dor. At the end of Dad's name, dates etc, we had a little saying engraved on the headstone - "We loved you so much, but we miss you more". A very daft idea came to me as we both sat there, and I started to laugh. Mum asked what was I laughing at (I'm afraid we are often giggling when we go to the grave, Mum always says he wouldn't want us to be miserable). I said to Mum, 'When you finally go, I'm just going to have "And here she is, Nanny Dor"! engraved below the "We loved you so much, but we miss you more". We both nearly fell off the bench, and got some very strange looks from the other visitors. I thought this would maybe appeal to your sense of humour Sandpiper?
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
Silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
Silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Absolutely brilliant thread. I've lolled to myself for ages and must confess I have stolen some and sent them to my Dad.
Keep up the good work and thank you so much
Fi xx
Keep up the good work and thank you so much
Fi xx
70-year-old George went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"
A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."
Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"
A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."
Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"
Two senior ladies met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well planned life?"
"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; ,my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money, two for the show. three to get ready and four to go."
"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; ,my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money, two for the show. three to get ready and four to go."
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mable's ear and said,
"Mable, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mable answered, "I have? A suppository?"
She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
Ethel noticed something funny about Mable's ear and said,
"Mable, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mable answered, "I have? A suppository?"
She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
Some old men can still think fast....!"
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
Some old men can still think fast....!"
Thanks for the smiles and laughs.
You also picked my favourite Khalil Gibran quote!
Now heading back to read more of your blog - interesting - thank you
Celia
Glad to hear you are enjoying your visits Celia.
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while
sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,
"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."
sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,
"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."
I can relate to that comment as well!
Thank you Starvin for your great contribution to the advancement of laughter and smiles.
Sandpiper, you always brighten my day
Glad to hear that the humble S&L Clinic has a positive effect.Thank you.
