Thank you 🙂

[Jenny11]

Just popping to say thank you to everyone who replied regarding my post about the funeral. ❤️

I have to go back to work tomorrow but I'm not sure that I'm ready.

The beauty about being self-employed is that you can take nearly a month off to get everything sorted & to support & look after your family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 , but the downside is that it hits you quite badly in the wallet. 💷👛

Some of my time off has also been because I came down with a sickness bug courtesy of my grandson 🤢🤮.

There's no standard bereavement leave payment for people who are self-employed - you pay for expensive private insurance or you get nothing. 🤷

I was also quite shocked to get an invoice from the funeral directors for £82 from the doctor, for sorting out the paperwork for my mother's death (no wonder the doctor phoned me - I was a private-paying patient & didn't know!) 😳😳😳😳

Plus the hidden extras - like having to pay for the order of service booklets - that you're not told about. The funeral, wake, plot & headstone, flowers, new clothes, death certificates & sundries have come to just over £8,000.

My mum had a "royal wedding" send off because that's what she expected but even half of that is a lot of money for pensioners to find if they want to do well by their family members 😥

And me? Well, I'm feeling quite empty emotionally. Think I'm just exhausted. I'll try & take it quietly this week as much as I can & not expect too much of myself.

But for today, on my last day off, we're taking our grandson, Charlie to see the dinosaurs 🦕 in Bute Park, Cardiff, this afternoon.

It's a start to getting back to normality, whatever that is.

 

[jugglingmum]

I was also quite shocked to get an invoice from the funeral directors for £82 from the doctor, for sorting out the paperwork for my mother's death (no wonder the doctor phoned me - I was a private-paying patient & didn't know!) 😳😳😳😳

Was your mum buried or cremated? I was charged the same sum to release the body for cremation. It is a standard fee nationally.

I got a weeks compassionate leave (3 days as I'm part time) and used all of that spread over 2 weeks arranging the funeral.

We're all different in what we need, allow yourself time to recover. My colleagues mum had a major stroke with a bedside vigil for weeks. She sorted the funeral and came back to work and then went off sick again for several weeks.

 

[Jenny11]

Was your mum buried or cremated? I was charged the same sum to release the body for cremation. It is a standard fee nationally.

I got a weeks compassionate leave (3 days as I'm part time) and used all of that spread over 2 weeks arranging the funeral.

We're all different in what we need, allow yourself time to recover. My colleagues mum had a major stroke with a bedside vigil for weeks. She sorted the funeral and came back to work and then went off sick again for several weeks.

Mum was cremated. We paid £3,800 for collecting & storing the body, the celebrant, funeral director, coffin, hearse, cremation, Eco box for the ashes, the service & one limo to take us to the funeral. Everything else was extra.

I can't take any more time off. I'm self employed & unfortunately, don't get any money to pay my bills & buy food etc. if I don't work. I don't have the option of staying off work & claiming sick pay sadly.

I've had most of the month of August off as it is as I've been organising the funeral & mum's financial affairs, plus the sickness bug my grandson gave me.

Life never gets easier, does it?

 

[jugglingmum]

Mum was cremated.

That will explain the charge, releasing the body for cremation isn't included within NHS costs, and this has been the case forever as far as I know (I'm an accountant and at one stage was involved in preparing GPs accounts - 25 years ago)

I was aware funerals were a tidy sum, we didn't have a limo as didn't work for us with the wake, and the total FD costs were just over £4k, £1,000 of which went to the crematorium. The wake was small and about £200. In my case this is coming out of mum's assets before distribution, although as I'll get half I guess I'm effectively paying half. My brother who did little in the 9.5 years mum was no longer living independently and living near me so I could support her will get the other half !!!

I didn't factor in the cost of clothes to wear as my dress will likely be worn for work - I don't normally wear black for work but will team it with a bright red jacket - and my daughter paid for her own. Husband and son both had suitable suits/black ties etc. I've worn my dress since at another funeral, although I was a bit overdressed.

I'm sorry you picked a bug up from your grandson, they can take a lot of getting over, I hope you are fully recovered.

I still have a lot to do on mum's financial side but life has been hectic, major deadlines at work this week, which is why I couldn't take time off in June, and youngest got A level results a couple of weeks ago and is off to uni on Saturday (going to Scotland so a month earlier than expected which has thrown us somewhat).

 

[Jenny11]

That will explain the charge, releasing the body for cremation isn't included within NHS costs, and this has been the case forever as far as I know (I'm an accountant and at one stage was involved in preparing GPs accounts - 25 years ago)

I was aware funerals were a tidy sum, we didn't have a limo as didn't work for us with the wake, and the total FD costs were just over £4k, £1,000 of which went to the crematorium. The wake was small and about £200. In my case this is coming out of mum's assets before distribution, although as I'll get half I guess I'm effectively paying half. My brother who did little in the 9.5 years mum was no longer living independently and living near me so I could support her will get the other half !!!

I didn't factor in the cost of clothes to wear as my dress will likely be worn for work - I don't normally wear black for work but will team it with a bright red jacket - and my daughter paid for her own. Husband and son both had suitable suits/black ties etc. I've worn my dress since at another funeral, although I was a bit overdressed.

I'm sorry you picked a bug up from your grandson, they can take a lot of getting over, I hope you are fully recovered.

I still have a lot to do on mum's financial side but life has been hectic, major deadlines at work this week, which is why I couldn't take time off in June, and youngest got A level results a couple of weeks ago and is off to uni on Saturday (going to Scotland so a month earlier than expected which has thrown us somewhat).

Life gets busy doesn't it? I know I'm not eating a vast amount at the moment & am feeling a bit dizzy but I think it's the remains of the bug as my husband & son have also complained of upset stomachs today.

It's a proud moment when they go off to uni 🙂 I have to chase up my mum's private pension tomorrow as I've not heard from them. Also, at some point I've some complicated share paperwork to get my head around, inbetween sorting out my dad's new energy tariff & car insurance quotes for September, plus getting my business back up & running & looking after the little ones. I know I need to slow down & not exhaust myself!

 

[sdmhred]

Hope you can have some helpful distraction in your business @Jenny11 When work isn’t too stressful I value it for that perspective.

Tummy bugs always seem to be rougher when we’re going thru other stresses…..

Share paperwork is hard. Ive found they won’t let me use POA as mums shares are still in Dad’s name …..trying to get them put into her name ….I don’t think we’ve been as focused on them as we should.

Hope ur Dad is doing ok too xxx

 

[Jenny11]

Hope you can have some helpful distraction in your business @Jenny11 When work isn’t too stressful I value it for that perspective.

Tummy bugs always seem to be rougher when we’re going thru other stresses…..

Share paperwork is hard. Ive found they won’t let me use POA as mums shares are still in Dad’s name …..trying to get them put into her name ….I don’t think we’ve been as focused on them as we should.

Hope ur Dad is doing ok too xxx

I'm distracting dad with huge car insurance quotes at the moment. He turns 90 in January but still isn't happy about giving up his car. I think the cost will win tho 🤣