Our family have been in a very similar position, my Mum had to go into emergency respite care as my Father had a heart attack. We did not feel she was ready to go into a care home and felt enormous guilt about placing her in care, we worried so much about how she would feel.
I packed her case when she was out of the house and we told her a little story about going away for a few days and then took her to the home. She loved looking around and joked about how she might stay there, we took advice and slipped out when she wasn’t looking. Easy to do, but the guild afterwards is dreadful. Mum did settle quite quickly although she asked all the time when would she be coming home. We quickly realised Dad could no longer go on looking after her, it was affecting his health and so we decided Mum should stay permanently. The home is fantastic and there is plenty of entertainment going on and we know that this is better than her sitting watching TV day and night as there is nothing else she can do apart from being taken out by other people. It gives us great peace of mind that she is being well cared for in the right environment and we know and accept she will not get better, so as and when things deteriorate she will receive the correct care. Dad can now focus on getting better.
For us the next battle is to try and get some funding from Social Services, I’ve called them to explain the situation, I’m really unsure what happens next and have been warned that they will try to avoid paying. I am constantly shocked at the lack of support carers receive for caring for Alzheimers suffers and it seems yet more is to come.
I visit Mum every day and enjoy my visits, the CH and staff are wonderful, however my mind is constantly thinking of her and hoping she is really ok, I hope in time this will get easier.
My goodness @Wishing20 our circumstances are very similiar indeed. I am sorry to hear of your dad's heart attack and that you poor mum has this evil disease. I really hope your dad makes a full lrecovery.
Thanks for sharing your situation, it really does help me to cope with our own situation. I really hope I can get to the same place that you are at regarding visits. This is the next big hurdle I need to overcome.
We visit my mum twice a day, yet I haven't seen my dad in over a week which adds to my guilt.
I wish your family well and that you get a positive outcome re funding.
Look after yourself.