For my PWD, sundowning has been a daily occurrence for more than 2 years, invariably focused on going home to see parents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, and schoolfriends. In the early days the agitation could be quite extreme, involving screaming, thumping my chest with her fists, finger-stabbing close to my eyes and verbal abuse. After diagnosis and the introduction of drugs including memantine, the behaviour became less extreme, perhaps also affected by my developing knowledge of how best to react.
But recently, there has been a noticeable return of the more extreme behaviour, suggesting that the dementia is progressing. The confusion and delusional behaviour is greater. Yesterday was hard for both of us: in a restaurant at the start of a short break in her home town, she became completely furious with me. Shaking uncontrollably, she tearfully and angrily informs me that she wants nothing to do with me, that she wished she’d never met me, that she hates me, that I’ve ruined her life, and that she could kill me for what I’ve done to her. This is witnessed by waitresses and some diners. Still in a state of blind fury, she needs to go to the ladies. Five minutes later she’s back and the hysteria has evaporated: she’s so grateful for what I’ve done for her, she’s so glad I’m with her, and so on. I’m naturally very relieved but nevertheless it’s very wearing, very distressing for the both of us.
I know that every dementia case is unique but there are commonalities. I was wondering if anyone had insights about how the sundowning might progress: where there’s been extreme anger, does it change as the dementia progresses, can it get worse or can it just fizzle out?
But recently, there has been a noticeable return of the more extreme behaviour, suggesting that the dementia is progressing. The confusion and delusional behaviour is greater. Yesterday was hard for both of us: in a restaurant at the start of a short break in her home town, she became completely furious with me. Shaking uncontrollably, she tearfully and angrily informs me that she wants nothing to do with me, that she wished she’d never met me, that she hates me, that I’ve ruined her life, and that she could kill me for what I’ve done to her. This is witnessed by waitresses and some diners. Still in a state of blind fury, she needs to go to the ladies. Five minutes later she’s back and the hysteria has evaporated: she’s so grateful for what I’ve done for her, she’s so glad I’m with her, and so on. I’m naturally very relieved but nevertheless it’s very wearing, very distressing for the both of us.
I know that every dementia case is unique but there are commonalities. I was wondering if anyone had insights about how the sundowning might progress: where there’s been extreme anger, does it change as the dementia progresses, can it get worse or can it just fizzle out?
