I cared for my dad with Parkinson’s and Lewy body dementia. He was still able to manage at home with a carer going in 4 times a day. He was a very proud and clever man and he was devastated when he became i continent and needed help in the shower. He was at that stage were he was aware enough to know he couldn’t do things. He would pray at night for god to take him . I had hoped to keep him at home to the very end. He became acutely unwell with abdo pains and I called the doctor, how I wished he could have given him some morphine and relieved his pain but that was not an option. He was sent to hospital. After a time in resus they found him a bed on the ward, they gave him iv paracetamol and I was told they were treating him conservatively. I left him late at night removing his socks and putting them under his pillow as he always did. I went in the next morning to find his bed empty. A carer told me they had taken him down for an mri scan and he caused a fuss because he didn’t want to go. Why did they take him then I thought he was being kept comfortable. The junior doctor then came he was in A&E the night before. He told me my dad had arrested and died during the MRI scan . I felt so angry and cheated that I didn’t get to say my goodbye at the bedside. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with
Sudden death
- Thread starter Namaste1
- Start date
Hello and welcome from me.
My wife (got together in 1976 so a long time ago) she passed away while I was in hospital in a coma, our 3 children did a lot and from a distance, last thing I'd want them to do is feel guilty that they could have done more.
I understand how you feel but you can't be everywhere for everyone all of the time.
Caring is hard, when mother nature makes you redundant is hard too. Thank you for posting. K
My wife (got together in 1976 so a long time ago) she passed away while I was in hospital in a coma, our 3 children did a lot and from a distance, last thing I'd want them to do is feel guilty that they could have done more.
I understand how you feel but you can't be everywhere for everyone all of the time.
Caring is hard, when mother nature makes you redundant is hard too. Thank you for posting. K
So sorry to hear about your wife, that must have been a very difficult time for you all. Sometime circumstances are beyond are control. It does take time to adjust to life without our special people in it. Time moves on and I have been blest with a grandchild who has helped fill the void in my life and bring me joy.
Im sorry @Namaste1 , that must have been a shock
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You may not have done, even if you were there. I knew mum was dying and wanted to be with her til the end, so I stayed with her, sleeping on the floor of her room for 3 days, but in the end I had to go and check up on OH and she died within 10 mins of me leaving. Many people have had their loved one die while they nipped to the loo. What is important is that you were there for your dad during his life and did your very best for him - the final seconds/minutes are of much lesser importance
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