Struggling to help my Mum.

[Mazurka]

Thanks for your input. Didn't realise about the driving, mind you, she won't even get in the car these days.
As for the cleaner, good suggestion, if she thinks it has been set up by someone, she will probably accept it. On that basis, I am booking someone to clean the oven, so that could mollify her.
Sad to say, she will not be able to attend dentist appointment, as I cannot get her out of the house. This is the second day where she has spent almost every minute of the day in the bedroom. She is scared of life. I played some oldies on the record player, but she said they made her sad because they reminded her of better times. She is aware they have gone forever.

 

[Heady37]

Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling to help my Mum who has early Alzheimer’s and I’d really like to hear from other people and how they are dealing with it / if anyone is feels the same as me.

One think I’m discovering is how lonely this journey feels when there is no one to talk to that is going through the same thing as you. If I tell anyone they tend to sympathise then tell me a story about how they had a family member who had it and proceed to tell me all about their decline and how bad it was as if I have no idea already of what’s in store for us.

I have siblings who are quite frankly useless and not any help at all. Mum lives with a family member and the relationship has deteriorated to the point that they no longer talk and Mum seems to have developed a hatred for them. That family member is subsequently moving out in the next month as they are finding Mum so difficult to live with - more because of her attitude and being difficult with her than anything else which leaves the burden all on me.

I live an hours round trip away and have 2 young children. Mum can sometimes be pretty argumentative so the kids have been witness to her being not very nice which makes it harder to visit when I have them. I wouldn’t say Mum has changed it’s more like the nice parts of her personality are disappearing and all of her not so pleasant / difficult traits are exacerbated.

I’m not really asking for help so much, I just want to share my story and empathise with anybody else who is struggling with the backlash of this bloody awful disease.

Hi there,I feel for you my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2020.I am still struggling with it.My mum has become more hostile and argumentative .I do feel lonely and guilty too
I too have had patronising responses from colleagues.
Please remember you are not alone in this.Is it possible you can talk to your siblings to reminder them to step up as you are a parent to young children and don't live nearby.
Just take it one day at a time
The Alzheimer's society have dementia advisors who are trained and really listen.I found them so good to talk to when I felt angry or upset .
I wish you the best.

Thank you I will do xxx