My Dad was finally diagnosed with Alzheimers a few months ago after a car accident and my parents are slowly very slowly accepting the diagnosis. I have known that something is seriously wrong for several years. My mum has always been very demanding of my dad especially about things which she sees as "complex" and they have always had a "they know best" towards life and are very reluctant to make any adjustments... They believe they are the same as they always have been and because they are not "do lally" (their words not mine) and managed to talk after the accident then they think there are no issues. Last time I went to see them, dad was still putting washing in the loft to dry up a loft ladder and it is a real death trap in the loft as well as risks going up and down the ladder. I provided them with an alternative set of clothes horses which would fit in with the layout of their spare room as they like the washing to be out of the way (This room also has an airing cupboard and is therefore nice and warm). Dad has had 2 funny turns and I so worry about him having another one on the ladder or in the loft... He thinks that taking a few items at a time is less risky and that the ladder is safe but equally last month he said it is ok to do this whilst balancing the washing basket under his chin! It is not the ladder I am worried about, it is him!
They have had to give up driving when they thought everything was fine but it clearly is not always. They are not natural risk takers and have always been sensible but mum just assumes dad is reliable and they do not plan for anything changing and are very inflexible. Mum has been given a walker and also a mobility scooter as she shuffles to walk and has swollen ankles but won't go to the doctor about. she does not want to use the walker or scooter even though dad has hurt his back/ neck and carrying the shopping means he is looking at the pavement when walking.... (he has finally gone to see the GP about it and is having an xray soon because they think it will take them 3 weeks to get an appointment and won't start the process but in fact they got an appointment the same day)The walker has become a shoe rack in their very very small hall . They moan that they can't go into the local town because the buses are irregular (but there is a coffee shop near by and they could take a book if they had to wait and this means they could see the local countryside which they love) and continue doing the things they enjoy with a bit of adjustment but are v inflexible. They have gone to a dementia support group but feel people talked down to them...
Their village has made a lot of effort to be dementia friendly and my brother is on hand to help with all the panics my nervy bossy mum has when dad is out gardening at a neighbour but I am the one who is far away and looking at the big picture (and to be honest despairing). There is lots going on in the village and they do lots of things like playing table tennis and various talks at U3A and local history. They have agreed to lpas and I have written rough ones for them to go through with my brother who is more on the same page as me now we have had the diagnosis but I feel like I am "a voice crying in the wilderness"... I don't want to take away their independence but want them to be safe and have suggested a teamwork approach to their ideas (eg going to France by train because they don't want to fly and they live near a major regional airport. ) It is good that they are active and not depressed but I feel their intransient and stubborn attitudes will lead to professionals taking over more and more which they will not like but be forced to accept in due course.
They have had to give up driving when they thought everything was fine but it clearly is not always. They are not natural risk takers and have always been sensible but mum just assumes dad is reliable and they do not plan for anything changing and are very inflexible. Mum has been given a walker and also a mobility scooter as she shuffles to walk and has swollen ankles but won't go to the doctor about. she does not want to use the walker or scooter even though dad has hurt his back/ neck and carrying the shopping means he is looking at the pavement when walking.... (he has finally gone to see the GP about it and is having an xray soon because they think it will take them 3 weeks to get an appointment and won't start the process but in fact they got an appointment the same day)The walker has become a shoe rack in their very very small hall . They moan that they can't go into the local town because the buses are irregular (but there is a coffee shop near by and they could take a book if they had to wait and this means they could see the local countryside which they love) and continue doing the things they enjoy with a bit of adjustment but are v inflexible. They have gone to a dementia support group but feel people talked down to them...
Their village has made a lot of effort to be dementia friendly and my brother is on hand to help with all the panics my nervy bossy mum has when dad is out gardening at a neighbour but I am the one who is far away and looking at the big picture (and to be honest despairing). There is lots going on in the village and they do lots of things like playing table tennis and various talks at U3A and local history. They have agreed to lpas and I have written rough ones for them to go through with my brother who is more on the same page as me now we have had the diagnosis but I feel like I am "a voice crying in the wilderness"... I don't want to take away their independence but want them to be safe and have suggested a teamwork approach to their ideas (eg going to France by train because they don't want to fly and they live near a major regional airport. ) It is good that they are active and not depressed but I feel their intransient and stubborn attitudes will lead to professionals taking over more and more which they will not like but be forced to accept in due course.
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