All my memories of my mum are happy ones, its just when she became ill and we would have some arguments also I said some things that I shouldn't have although I did apologise, I can't help thinking of those situations and hope mum doesn't hold it against me. I do try and think of happier times, but the negative thoughts creep in.
The dreams I am having are occurring every night and always have mum and dad in them or just mum, sometimes they are good dreams other times they are nightmares.
I wanted my mum to live forever, I know that would never happen but with everything she had been through it was possible she would go on for a while, yes she is free of the Alzheimer's and that is a good thing but I didn't want to be on my own without her, that may sound selfish on my part but if it were the other way round mum would feel the same as she often told me she didn't know what she would do without me.
It is good to have someone listen to me talk about mum but that will be coming to an end soon, then I will probably be back to square one, time will tell.
The cat was in the other night sitting on a cushion on my lap, falling asleep whilst I was stroking her. She was making some little noises which I took to mean she was dreaming, otherwise she was just purring. Needless to say my black cardigan was covered in cat hair!
The dreams I am having are occurring every night and always have mum and dad in them or just mum, sometimes they are good dreams other times they are nightmares.
I wanted my mum to live forever, I know that would never happen but with everything she had been through it was possible she would go on for a while, yes she is free of the Alzheimer's and that is a good thing but I didn't want to be on my own without her, that may sound selfish on my part but if it were the other way round mum would feel the same as she often told me she didn't know what she would do without me.
It is good to have someone listen to me talk about mum but that will be coming to an end soon, then I will probably be back to square one, time will tell.
The cat was in the other night sitting on a cushion on my lap, falling asleep whilst I was stroking her. She was making some little noises which I took to mean she was dreaming, otherwise she was just purring. Needless to say my black cardigan was covered in cat hair!