Hello everyone x
JM, have you tried the travel sickness bands that you can buy from chemists? One of my 'photo-buddies' suffers from horrendous travel sickness, like yourself, just a few minutes in any vehicle that she isn't driving herself and she feels really ill - but those travel bands have really helped. After buying them, she managed a coach journey all the way from North Wals to Dover, and then the channel crossing, without being ill. Worth a go, if you haven't tried them already?
Slugsta, I've tried the crop top/sports style bra's with Mil and found that she simply couldn't manage them
Its coordination with her (though limited movement in one shoulder doesn't help) even with tops/jumpers, she has a tendency to somehow manage to 'roll up and twist' garments, at the back, as she puts them over her head and she just can't work out how to straighten them once they are all 'rucked up'
Your Poor Mum and D, dealing with TF's attitude - has TF got POA or some sort of 'formal' role in 'D's' life? Or is the role of 'carer' one that she has assigned herself? Either way, her behaviour is horrible, but if its a self-designed role she has taken on, it might give you a little more clout to deal with her if her behaviour continues to be so rude and unpleasant to your Mum. I hope your tummy has settled down for you now xxxx
Thanks everyone - I am still simply stunned by what we were told the other night
I felt sorry for the poor nurse who was given the job of going over the notes with us, as he actually seemed really embarrassed at the whole situation - not surprised that both the ward manager and the senior nurse that were present dumped the job on someone else! He started by telling us that some 'very important' senior doctor had been to see Mil - for the life of me, I can't remember the title he gave this person, but the impression we were left with was that this person (whoever they were) is someone who has a great deal of authority and whoever they were, it was clearly a case of they speak and everyone else jumps. Anyway, this doctor has not only re-instated the maintenance antibiotics, he has done so on a 'rota' with the antibiotic being changed every so often to prevent Mil becoming imune to their impact. It also turns out that she still isn't free of the chest infection, so she has been given an additional 7 days of flucloxacillin to try and finally get her fit again. This person has also introduced a new inhaler - the nurse made a point of saying that it was a 'very expensive' inhaler (?) - which she is now to use twice daily. Whoever this 'doctor' is, in one day he seems to have made more changes and (hopefully) improvements to Mil's medication for health issues, than the EMH unit have managed to make for the dementia meds in over 5 weeks!
As this poor nurse went on to (finally) reveal to us exactly what had been done -or rather, NOT done - with Mil's meds, he just got more and more embarrassed. The first change made was the stopping of the antibiotics, done by a junior consultant. The Zopiclone had only been stopped for 2 nights by the time that Mil's consultant told us that it had been stopped. The consultant told us at that point that Mil was 'sleeping well' - I asked what her sleep pattern had been like since then, and the chap told us that it was very 'hit and miss', that mostly, she wasn't sleeping. I asked was she being given a supper of porridge? (we had been told that she would be) - no, that wasn't happening either. I said I would bring in some of the individual sachets of porridge for her if that was OK? The nurse jumped at it, saying it would be a help. The diazepam? That had been reduced down to 2mg in the morning, and then given on a prn basis - and when asked, the nurse said that no, it doesn't seem to have any effect on her at all. At what point, I wonder, are these 'consultants actually going to listen to the nurses, day care staff and us, about how useless diaz is for her? Especially when its one of the drugs that can impact on lung function, and she has COPD?
I then asked when the memantine and orlanzepine had been stopped (the consultant had told us he was stopping them on the 27th of April). Er . . . the memantine had only been stopped yesterday, he told us - but was due to be started again the next day. We asked why stopped for two days? He didn't know. In fact he said it made no sense to him - at all. 2 days wasn't long enough to get the medication out of her system, and therefore not long enough to assess any impact. The orlanzepine hadn't been altered at all, nor the duloxitine.
So, in 5 weeks, they had only stopped antibiotics and her sleeping tablet ? Why only that? The whole point of her being admitted was to wean her off all the anti-psychotic and 'behaviour' calming drugs, and work out if there was a reduced/different type of med that actually worked instead? He didn't know, maybe because she has been ill, he said. We asked how, being as the only impact from removing those two meds had been UTI's, chest infections, and her sleep pattern getting worse, we could have been told that she was on the 'optimum' medication and ready for discharge? He apologised, he didn't know, he didn't understand it himself. We asked what her behaviour had honestly been like. And he told us that the paranoia was 'bad', told us that she had been begging to 'go home' as she needed to get back to her baby (we had previously been told that Mil had 'never once mentioned' children or babies) and that she had been very verbally aggressive on occasion. So absolutely no difference at all in her behaviour
There was no point giving this poor nurse a hard time - it would be a bit like shooting the messenger - but that's why I was so furious when we left there, the other night. I can't begin to understand the actions of the consultant/doctors involved on the EMH - just don't get why they didn't do what they said they were going to do, why they haven't made any serious attempt to assess and improve her medication, to help her with the extremes of agitation and upset. I mean - that's the whole reason for the admission in the first place. I feel so confused and let down by them. Poor, poor Mil
I visited yesterday morning, wanting to drop off some porridge for her - we've seen first hand that her evening meal consists of a sandwich and a tiny cake/pudding portion, and as the orlanzepine hasn't been altered and that increases appetite, I suspect that poor Mil is starving and this might be making her sleep worse. I was greeted by the news that Mil was refusing to dress or leave her room, and that they had had to take her breakfast to her. No idea who Mil thought I was, though she greeted me pleasantly enough - no queries about OH, so I don't think in her head she associated me with him, and I am pretty sure that she thought I was some sort of 'employee' of 'this place' (the hospital, which she thought was either a church or a school). She was quite formal with me, quite distant, though polite. She told me that 'they' were trying to send her away and she expected me to have a word with them. After half an hour, she abruptly and briskly informed me that I could take the breakfast dishes to the kitchen on my way out, as she was going back to bed. Handing them over to one of the wards support workers, I commented laughingly that I had been 'dismissed' - '
Oh, she's been 'dismissing me all morning', I was told - only the support worker didn't seem particularly amused by this, and in fact looked rather annoyed, so heaven only knows what Mil had said to her!
I'm going to go and see her today, when I can be sure of actually getting a parking spot, but intend to miss tomorrow and possibly Tuesday, I'll see how it goes.
take care, everyone xxxx
