Hi all,
You aint heard from me for a bit but things have started to get me down again, Mums illness and financial worries. Part of that has been as i get paid each month and money is tight i end up not being able to afford fuel in the car to drive to Liverpool to see mum. Its been nearly two month since i last seen mum. And some of my family still in Liverpool think that i use it as an excuse. But i dont i am genuinly really tight were cash is concerned im the soul earner in thje house and there is five of us Me my partner and our three girls Saffron 6 and The twins Harriet Mary and Georgia Pearl 2. And as things have started to get to me again my hatred and low confidence has come back. Ive stopped jogging and excercising and i feel whats the point. And its also taking its toll now on my relasionship with my fiancé i love her so much but i find it really hard to show it and im locked up in my depression. The other day i was worrying like crazy trying to get £50 together to take the kids to see Thomas the Tank and it got to me that bad i began to feel like a failure and thought this is my like now living hand to mouth and being ruled by worrying about mum. And to cap it all off My uncle called last night and told me my great uncle died last week. He too also has AD and when i asked what happened he said he just forgot to eat and eventually breath. When i put the phone down i thought all these times i miss now with my Mum because of my financial situation is it gonna be me next that gets the dreadded call of loosing my mum ??? At the moment im trully tired of life and everything that goes with it. It dont help that i have a month off work(still paid) but all i do is clean,hoover up wash clothes i feel 60 never mind 28.
Best wishes
Elwood
You aint heard from me for a bit but things have started to get me down again, Mums illness and financial worries. Part of that has been as i get paid each month and money is tight i end up not being able to afford fuel in the car to drive to Liverpool to see mum. Its been nearly two month since i last seen mum. And some of my family still in Liverpool think that i use it as an excuse. But i dont i am genuinly really tight were cash is concerned im the soul earner in thje house and there is five of us Me my partner and our three girls Saffron 6 and The twins Harriet Mary and Georgia Pearl 2. And as things have started to get to me again my hatred and low confidence has come back. Ive stopped jogging and excercising and i feel whats the point. And its also taking its toll now on my relasionship with my fiancé i love her so much but i find it really hard to show it and im locked up in my depression. The other day i was worrying like crazy trying to get £50 together to take the kids to see Thomas the Tank and it got to me that bad i began to feel like a failure and thought this is my like now living hand to mouth and being ruled by worrying about mum. And to cap it all off My uncle called last night and told me my great uncle died last week. He too also has AD and when i asked what happened he said he just forgot to eat and eventually breath. When i put the phone down i thought all these times i miss now with my Mum because of my financial situation is it gonna be me next that gets the dreadded call of loosing my mum ??? At the moment im trully tired of life and everything that goes with it. It dont help that i have a month off work(still paid) but all i do is clean,hoover up wash clothes i feel 60 never mind 28.
Best wishes
Elwood