My mum and dad have been 2 years at the same care home, though recently were separated, with mum moved to the dementia wing (not before time). She had been pretty bad with dad, who was still alert mentally though in physical pain, and was finally seen hitting him. When it was clear he was dying, we brought her over so they could see one another. She was initially moved and concerned by his condition, but after a while resumed her usual fixations, and was taken away 'for a cup of tea'. She apparently settled again quite quickly. What should be do about telling her - if at all? She used to be extremely dependent on dad, and could hardly bear him out of her sight - though wasn't very nice to him! This aspect has certainly lessened, but if I visit her she will almost certainly bring him up at some point. It feels wrong not to tell her, but presumably she will become very upset and then may forget again. Does anyone have any advice/experiences? PS. I live a long way away, so can only visit in infrequent bursts. Other people also visit, though, and we need to advise them on what to do or say.