Settling in a care home

[carerJ]

My husband has mixed dementia Alzheimers and Vascular dementia. He has now been accessed for 24 hour care and his daughter and myself picked a care home we liked .

He is what i describe as Jekyll and Hyde when he is nice and sweet one time but changes to be an angry nasty person if anything upsets him.

When i visit him in the home he starts grumbling about food staff etc being ignored on his own no one to talk to. He will not mix with others says he doesnt want to . He is reg blind as well which doesnt help and his passion is Classical Music and i have taken his radio set to classic FM and a tv/ dvd player to listen to DVD's and CD's as well as his talking book.

It is getting me down and upset as if i say he is mistaken or confused he just explodes at me blaming me for putting him in this prison.

Have you any advice on how to settle him in the care home.
Thanks Carer J

 

[Margaret938]

Hello CarerJ
I am sorry I don't have any advice on how to settle your husband in the Care Home.
I do know about the Jekyll and Hyde character though. This is one of reasons George was admitted to the CH he is in now, that was in April. I have had no problem with him settling in though, he is quite content where he is. He does have his moments of rattling on the outside door handle, and getting angry especially around 5pm, however, the consultant in his infinite wisdom has increased his dose of Risperidone and it has had an adverse effect on him. It was increased on Wednesday and now he is shuffling around like a very old man (which he isn't, he was a very fit 72 year old) he was particularly aggressive today and not at all as responsive as as he usually is. I can't wait until Monday to have his dose reversed by the consultant.
In one of my threads I think it was from Loopiloo, she said her husband took quite some tome to settle in the CH. Look up my thread Photographs of George take two. It may be on that one.
I hope it all gets sorted out for you,
Take care,
Love Margaret x

 

[rajahh]

I may be joining you in this thread eventually as my husband is on a waiting list for a care home.

One minute he understands that my health will not allow me to carry on caring for him and next minute he is accusing me of siphoning off his money and dumping him off somewhere where he doesnot want tobe.

He hasn't,t even gone yet

Not much help to you, but others have written how difficult it can be but that eventually most do settle.