1. ponypony

    ponypony Registered User

    Nov 21, 2015
    14
    I am concerned about my OH,who i have thought for a while is "not wired right".
    I have problems trying to follow his conversations,(which seem to go round in circles)way of thinking ect.
    I dont want to go into everything,but just a few basic points ::
    recently,he has started to change
    he will not take the dog for a walk..(he used to)
    not interested in his old hobbies..(walking,bird watching)
    his way of bird watching,now,is to hang a few nuts up,in the garden,and watch from window.
    has become obsessed with dvd's,,and always comes home with some from charity shops,which he makes excuses to get to 3/4 times a week.
    watches the said dvd's,at every opportunity.
    things we used to do,as a couple,he has no interest in now..eg,nice walk to a county pub,couple of drinks,walk home....not interested.
    not really interested in anyone else.
    gone very selfish,and self centered....have to nag,to get him to ring his mother.
    i have to initiate a visit to our sons,,he does not seem to think about him too often.

    not really aware of stuff going on round him,,a bit blinkered.

    SO,whats going on ?,could this be a start to a form of dementia ?
    He is diabetic type 2,,and at first,i thought ,these strange lapses were blood sugar problems,but i suspect something a little more now.
    This is not a "nag",as i care for him,but am finding it harder and harder,to make sense of things and situations.
    He wont go to doc's....i cant broach the subject,as he would not understand....oh,and he wont take responsibility for anything.
    he seems ok,in his own skin,drifting along,in a world of tv and films,and not much else...it is me,who finds herself,more and more alone,and lonely.
    experts ?
     
  2. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,561
    North West
    Welcome to TP ponypony. I'm very sorry to hear about your husband's unusual behaviour. I think it's understandable that you are wondering about the reasons for the gradual change in his behaviour. It's always difficult though when someone will not even talk about going to see a doctor.

    Sometimes people have written down their concerns in a letter to the doctor. A doctor who was on the ball might well consider asking him in for a 'check up'. This might even be something he's used to with his diabetes.

    I'm sure others will be along with further suggestions. Very few people on here are 'experts' and are not really able to 'advise'. They do have a lot of experience though and ideas about what you might try.
     
  3. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    979
    Colchester
    Ponypony

    Hi there. I think if he won't go to a doctor then writing to the Doctor would be a way. If he has diabeties then surely he sees a nurse or Doctor occasionally. If you could mention it at the clinic I am sure this may help. I do not know much about diabetic symtoms but this sounds like something else. I wish you luck and please get back to TP as everyone will care about what happens and will help if they can. x
     
  4. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,561
    North West
    I meant to mention your loneliness. Many members feel lonely at times, understandably. But I have certainly felt lonely less often since joining TP and I hope you will soon find this to be true.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,319
    Female
    South coast
    My OH has just been diagnosed with FTD/Atypical Alzhiemers and has very similar symptoms. Heres a fact sheet about FTD https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=167

    If you think this fits what you are seeing then I would agree with stanley - either send the GP a letter explaining your concerns or go and talk to his GP. he wont be able to discuss it with you, but he will be able to listen.
     
  6. ponypony

    ponypony Registered User

    Nov 21, 2015
    14
    thank you all...i certainly cant make head nor tail of things atm,although have been going on for a few years.
    Doc's ?,thats a no no..he did have lots of tests at the hospital earlier this year (stomach probs).....and he wont go back for results !
    Diabetic clinic ?......thats a no no as well,,he last went Jan of this year,and only because Doc told him he had to.
    His excuse ?..i am fine,all under control.....if they want to see me,they let me know.
    A very stubborn man,who has the "big boys,big book of excuses"
    Funny thing is,he watches Countdown,and gets most of the answers right......but can get his words mixed up easily Re;...
    Him..there is a ginger cat in the garden
    me..where ?,i cant see a ginger cat
    Him..there on the path,in front of you
    me..i can only see a tabby
    him..thats the one........
    me thats tabby not ginger
    him..you know what i mean
    Multiply that type of conversation a few times over in a day,and you can understand why it appears to go round in circles,a bit daft,but quite frustrating.
    thank you
     
  7. ponypony

    ponypony Registered User

    Nov 21, 2015
    14
    Thank You Canary,have just read your link,and that seems scarily accurate.
    I think the hardest part of this ,is knowing something is wrong,not being able to lable it,trying to make excuses to other people,without acknowledging anything is wrong.
    I am going to have to have another read of that link,drink a glass of wine,,and digest them both.
    TY
     
  8. ponypony

    ponypony Registered User

    Nov 21, 2015
    14
    As a follow up,,i have just "googled",the link Canary sent to me,re frontotemporal dementia,to see if it is hereditary,it appears it is
    His favourite uncle,with whom,he had a lot in common,spent a long time in ,what was then classed as a "mental hospital"..where as part of his treatment,he had a lobotomy .


    My OH is 61
     
  9. Hellyg

    Hellyg Registered User

    Nov 18, 2014
    77
    Midlands
    #9 Hellyg, Dec 6, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2015
    Hello,

    Welcome to TP where you will get so much support, but at the same time sorry you find yourself needing to be here.

    Like Canary, my husband has Frontal Temporal Dementia, of the semantic variant (or possibly atypical alzhemiers). He never gets lost, better than me at remembering where to go. Ok with numbers and dates etc. It was your point about really liking countdown that reminded me of my husband, he loves any program where he can see a score or they have to pay to score, so countdown, four in a bed, come dine with me, programs where they buy and sell things. My husband finds word difficult, so if you say a word, he might ask what is that? Or what is the this, pointing at something? If there is a lot of talking then he won't like it.

    In saying all of this, there are many things which can cause confusion or such difficulties, so if you can persuade him to see a doctor, it would be something very treatable. It might not be, but by knowing, you do then know why, that it's not their fault, also the protection of the law if still working. So my husband now faces early retirement through ill health rather that getting fired, for not doing his job. A small thing but financially means I can keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.

    As to how to get him to see a doctor, I agree with what has been said. Tell the doctor your concerns and see if the doctor will call him in for checks, my husband had behavioural symptoms, but it was when he started to forget words, I managed to persuade him to get it checked out. That said one of my husbands symtoms was being convinced he had cancer and going to the doctors to check, so it made it easier to get him to go to the doctors. Bless him he has forgotten what cancer is now, so doesn.t worry about that now.

    Thinking of you and hope there is a non dementia outcome xx
     
  10. ponypony

    ponypony Registered User

    Nov 21, 2015
    14
    Thank You,that is the hard part of understanding,,some things he is very good at..so lulls you into a situation,that nothing is wrong......and then something happens that blows it all out of the water,i have a lot to digest,and think about,as probably,whatever,he has,its in the very early stages.......THINKING CAP on,methinks
     
  11. Hellyg

    Hellyg Registered User

    Nov 18, 2014
    77
    Midlands
    Yes, I convinced myself for a long time that it was not dementia as most of what you read about is Alzheimers. My husband never forgets an appointment or a gig he is going to. Feel free to private message me if you want to talk further. My husband is 56, so younger than most with dementia.
     
  12. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,319
    Female
    South coast
    My husband is 60, though he has had symptoms for about 5 years.
    The diagnosis came as a shock as I had discounted any form of dementia as he doesnt have any problems with short-term memory, doesnt get lost and is very good with numbers - unlike mum who has classic Alzheimers - consequently he can pass the Mini Mental State Examination (MMSE) with flying colours.
     
  13. Chrismitch

    Chrismitch Registered User

    Jun 23, 2011
    127
    Oh so familiar. My OH was brilliant at sudoku and crosswords. Could remember fixture dates, scores and names of football players. He spent hours working on loading music CDs on his PC to the exclusion of everything else. Totally totally selfish. I was a whisker away from throwing him out due to the selfish behaviour and drinking. And then a hint of short term memory problems sent us for help and a year later he had a diagnosis of Alzheimer's at the age of 62. He'll be 68 on Wednesday.
    I've heard that people with diabetes are prone to developing dementia. As for consulting a doctor, can you persuade the diabetic nurse to call him in? My OH did want to get help, thankfully.
    Also, try telling him that medication taken the earlier the better will help enormously.
    My OH also was retired on the grounds of ill health before he was fired.
    He wasn't fired and his wife didn't throw him out, but this must happen to some poor people
     

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