Hello everyone. I am 29 and caring for my 73 year old dad with mixed dementia, along with the rest of my family.
Dad was diagnosed 3 years ago, but the signs were there a few years before. Dad has really declined in the past few months, especially after a month in respite this summer. We feel that we are now struggling to cope with dad at home, with the rest of the family needing to return to work, and mum being unable to cope with him on her own.
I think we especially would like advice on funding of care homes, when funds drop below 23K, and what happens to a person who is already in a care home being privately funded before this point. We are finding it very hard to know what to do for the best, and are finding social services are hard to pin down to an answer, and are very slow with the whole process.
Hope everyone else is well, it brings a small amount of comfort to know there are others out there going through the same problems as us right now. Take care xx
Hi
@Bronte_girl
Welcome to the talking point forum. There are lots of empathetic carers who with their own experiences will be able to help. Also have a look at the wealth of info on the Alz's Soc website.
Sorry to hear about the position with your dad, and especially if your mum can't cope with him on her own. The Local Authority Adult Social Services in your dad's area can, if requested, carry out a care assessment for your dad to see what help they think he needs. They can also, if requested, carry out a carer's assessment for your mum to see what help they think she needs.
A PWD usually doesn't accept there is anything wrong with them, and therefore, they don't need help and they often resist having carers in.
I started off caring for my wife, but when her instability and falls made life difficult, I had to get carers to come in. There are a lot of care providing companies, and an organisation called carechoices.co.uk that can research and report on the companies in your dad's area. If he is self funding because he has savings/assets etc (excluding the house your mum and dad live in) in excess of £23,250 then you can choose which ever care co you want for what ever care is required. Having two carers come in three times a day - you need two carers for any lifting, and makes life easier for organising washing, changing clothes, etc - is still half the cost of a care home. It really depends on what care is needed. Eg, does your dad need help with toileting in the day and/or at night, or is there any incontinence, for which the incontinence nurse can prescribe stuff that's needed,
In a care home situation - as you asked - where a PWD is self funding, then before the savings dwindle down to the first limit - £23,250 - you can apply to LA for help. If saving get below £14,500, LA pay all, and between the two limits there is a sliding scale where LA pay some and patient pays some. If your mum is over 60 and has a right to live in their house, then house is disregarded in the financial assessment.
When you get near the point of seeking financial help from LA you would need to speak with the care home. The LA have a limit to how much they will pay, and their level is less than the care would normally charge. So you need to know if the care home will accept what the LA will pay. Some say yes, but some care homes seek a top up from family, but family are not legally obliged to congtribute. If care home won't accept what LA will pay, then often the patient has to move to a care home that will accept what LA will pay - usually a move down market.
I hope that helps as a start.
Best wishes,
