Say hello and introduce yourself

[HarrietD]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point

However you have been affected by dementia, our community is a place to get support from others.

Say hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteers and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

This thread is for you to say hello and tell us a little bit about yourself, and your connection to dementia.

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

How to use the community

You can find out how to navigate the community here.

Any questions?

If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Harriet

 

[Gee7]

Hello, I'm Gary. I'm sure this is a common story: 81 yr old Mum had a fall and broke her hip. Have been noticing memory issues recently and post accident, there are clear signs of dementia (my Nan had alzheimer's, so I'm recognising the signs). My main issue at the moment is that she is not eating - she has crohn's disease, plus a traumatic history with food. And importantly, she has a wrist alarm which she keeps taking off because it's irritating and uncomfortable. In character with dementia, I can gently explain why it's so important then the conversation gets forgotten really quickly. So my main Q is, what have people found works with having them keep the bracelet on? I have thought about a drop of super glue or a little bit of gaffa tape which seems kind of mean. Has anyone come up with a solution to make the bracelet more comfortable?

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Gee7.

Sorry I don’t have any bright ideas re the bracelet - I just wanted to say welcome and I’m glad you’ve found this forum.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello and welcome from me also @Gee7 Would it be possible to back the alarm with felt or something else soft without affecting the alarm. This might make it more comfortable to wear.

 

[Gosling]

Hello Gary @Gee7 and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum from me too.
I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions about the bracelet issue.
Just wanted to say hi and welcome

 

[Gee7]

Hello Gary @Gee7 and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum from me too.
I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions about the bracelet issue.
Just wanted to say hi and welcome

many thanks!

 

[Seajade]

Hello,

I’m new and just wishing to be part of a community with an understanding of dementia.
I care for my dad who is 91 and has had an Alzheimer’s diagnosis for 12 years now. He has lived with me for over 10 years now.
I wouldn’t have things any other way but I feel extremely stressed by the smallest thing right now. Dad was very unwell with a virus recently and it seemed likely he would not pull through. I was so relieved when he did but then seeing his very poor quality of life in the ensuing two to three weeks made it feel ludicrous that I wished so hard for him to recover. He is much improved now but of course he has long-standing dementia and he is totally unaware he was unwell.

I feel I have been loosing dad incrementally for probably 20 years ( his memory was diminishing from age 70) and the sadness of it feels quite overwhelming.
I always try to be kind and patient and I have no problem undertaking all his care needs but I miss him so much despite the fact he is still here.

I don’t know if anyone understands this unless they too care for a loved one with dementia. I think I just needed to say it out loud. It feels like 10 plus years of goodbyes to the next little part of my precious dad yet some days it feels like he is right there and understanding things clearly. I am always hungry for those moments.

I understand stress and I usually handle my stress quite well with all the usual strategies. Right now it feels like a heavy weight.

I know I am not alone so I guess I just wanted to feel connected to the community out there who understands.

Jenny 🙂

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Seajade.

Your post is so poignant and your love for your dad shines through. I’m glad you’ve found this forum and I hope sharing here will help to relieve the stress - even just a little.

 

[Susan255]

Hello, I'm Gary. I'm sure this is a common story: 81 yr old Mum had a fall and broke her hip. Have been noticing memory issues recently and post accident, there are clear signs of dementia (my Nan had alzheimer's, so I'm recognising the signs). My main issue at the moment is that she is not eating - she has crohn's disease, plus a traumatic history with food. And importantly, she has a wrist alarm which she keeps taking off because it's irritating and uncomfortable. In character with dementia, I can gently explain why it's so important then the conversation gets forgotten really quickly. So my main Q is, what have people found works with having them keep the bracelet on? I have thought about a drop of super glue or a little bit of gaffa tape which seems kind of mean. Has anyone come up with a solution to make the bracelet more comfortable?

Hello Gary; I am Susan from Canada. My mum, 94, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's over two years ago, but she has had problems a lot longer, but kept them hidden, and I wasn't sharp enough to pick them up. She also has Crohn's disease. With regard to the wrist alarm, the company we deal for the alarm is called LifeLine. They have both wrist and necklace types of alarms. Perhaps you could find a company which has a version of the alarm that hangs around the neck, as a necklace, and your mum might find this less annoying. My mother has always resented the alarm, which she can press if she is in trouble, but it also alerts us if she falls. She knows that she is to wear it 24 hours a day for her own safety, but that is a struggle. Good luck with your Mum, and do see if you can get a necklace version of the alarm. Sincerely, Susan

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Susan255.

 

[Gosling]

Welcome to this friendly and supportive forum from me too Jenny @Seajade . You will most certainly find lots of understanding here.
I am sorry to read of your Dad's condition. It sounds as though you are such a caring daughter and are doing everything you can to make sure your Dad is as comfortable and safe as possible. I had the same with my dear Mum. It takes a lot out of you, but you don't begrudge it one bit.
Do take care of yourself too - try to get some 'me time' moments. Wishing you continued strength

 

[Gosling]

Welcome @Susan255 to this supportive forum. I am glad you have found us.
I am sorry to read of your Mum's Alzheimer's diagnosis; along with Crohn's it must be extremely difficult.
You will certainly find empathy and understanding here, from members that are happy to share the benefit of their experience.

 

[Gee7]

Hello Gary; I am Susan from Canada. My mum, 94, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's over two years ago, but she has had problems a lot longer, but kept them hidden, and I wasn't sharp enough to pick them up. She also has Crohn's disease. With regard to the wrist alarm, the company we deal for the alarm is called LifeLine. They have both wrist and necklace types of alarms. Perhaps you could find a company which has a version of the alarm that hangs around the neck, as a necklace, and your mum might find this less annoying. My mother has always resented the alarm, which she can press if she is in trouble, but it also alerts us if she falls. She knows that she is to wear it 24 hours a day for her own safety, but that is a struggle. Good luck with your Mum, and do see if you can get a necklace version of the alarm. Sincerely, Susan

Hi Susan, many thanks for taking the time to respond. I will explore the necklace. How are you finding your Mum is with food? I think my Mum has a lot of trauma around eating and she got very upset today. I really just don't know what to do. All she's had today is a couple of mouthfuls of cornflakes and half a cracker, a couple of grapes. I honestly cannot keep fighting her. It''s upsetting for both of us. I think I need to pull back.

 

[HaB1971]

Hello, My motger is 76 and her memory has had a shocking decline in the past few years. I live in the US and came to visit for 2 weeks and her spiral downwards has been terrible. Her CT scans show signs of white matter on the brain so signs of vascular dementia and her very junior GP is dismissive of the issues/ symptoms as my mother fails to mention them upon visits. I attended an appointment with her had had to correct them several times about her behaviour and the symptoms. This weekend we took her to her sisters house and the once familiar house and family was of course confusing to her. She went to bed, woke up an hour later and came down stairs saying she'd been all over the village trying to find food but everywhere was shut and she was just up stairs. We know familar places are less confusing for her but she constantly fails to know who people are, where she is at times. Food left uncookiled in the microwave for weeks, falls and drinking large amounts of red wine are not helping her. As I am thousands of miles away in the US there are limited things I can do.. any recommendations about resources or contacts I can pass on would be great

 

[nitram]

I will explore the necklace.

You will find the existing company can supply a pendant instead of a wrist alarm, pendants are generally better as a fall detector but have the disadvantage that if also a press button device wearing them inside clothing can make operation difficult in an emergency.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @HaB1971 and welcome to our supportive and friendly community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. You'll find this a good place to ask questions, raise issues, join conversations or let off steam. Our members really do understand and empathise. I am sorry to hear about your mother and how difficult this is when you are so far away. Others may have similar experiences and give you more help than I can.

 

[Gee7]

Welcome @Susan255 to this supportive forum. I am glad you have found us.
I am sorry to read of your Mum's Alzheimer's diagnosis; along with Crohn's it must be extremely difficult.
You will certainly find empathy and understanding here, from members that are happy to share the benefit of their experience.

 

[Gee7]

Many thanks. There is no diagnosis as yet but will be seeing a Dr soon.

 

[Hopeuser]

Hello I'm new here

 

[Tee1]

Hi Im Tracy, my mum is 85 and was diagnosed with dementia a year ago. She has stopped eating and gets angry when I try to talk to her about it. Just don't know what to do x