So a little update nearly a month on - I feel well enough to write it down.
So we reinstated the package that day - rang all the people and I withdrew. My husband would answer the phone to mum requesting money to be paid to gardener , "yes we'd put £20 in her savings account" etc. We were pleasant but I would be " out" or "in the shower" Carers reported she seemed well, The Cpn agreed to go back and try again with colleague present to see if mum would agree 24hour care. The care manager rang mum up and introduced the idea of a 24 hr live in carer. Mum told the carers she did not want that. Mum was spookily well and no delusions although bag packing resumed.
So stalemate until the day the CPN was due to go back and then..
Mum was admitted to hospital that night with sudden breathing difficulities, the night carer called the ambulance on the advice of the nightline. By the time I got there the ambulance had gone and I had to put the night carer back together to assure she had done the right thing as mum had been hysterical.
Mum ended up on a covid ward as the symptoms presented themselves as covid induced pneumonia. I could not visit and ( you can guess where we live) the whole city was placed on lockdown. Two days running the clinician rang me and told me to prepare for the worst and they would make her comfortable if necessary. We all had to self isolate as her extended bubble including the children awaiting results of the test. Surreal. Awful.
Three days later , mum improved came off oxygen . She was kept on the covid ward until a third and final test was done. All negative - just pneumonia .On the first occaision a nurse facetimed mum from an ipad . She was confused but pleased to see me. The next day she was allowed to ring me alone from the ward nurses station ( I presume someone did it for her) and whilst sundowning started screaming and ranting at me how I had abandoned her, where was my ( deceased father etc), she was off to find a job, she didnt need a care home . I could not talk her down . It was traumatic. Eventually after begging her to find a nurse she rang off. My husband rang the ward back and asked them not to let her ring back unsupervised. Apparently she coolly handed the phone back with out a care. I had no words.
I| rang the duty team at SS and asked them to make a note on mum's file. We were advised that the geriatric team would assess her and the last I heard two weeks ago is that mum can give a good account of her self but is denying hallucinations and night waking.
I wrote a lengthy eight page email outlining our concerns/ the history to the ward doctor in charge of discharge and copied in the SS emergency duty team. I've even sent ated and timed mp3 recordings she made to our phone in feb saying there were no doors in the house I spoke to them and the said the hub referral would be picked up.
Apparently there are no social workers on the ward. Apparently mum is medically fit. I've rung / emailed everyone I can think of . Not much more I can say. She needs 24 hour care. There's a bed waiting at the private care home. I rang yesterday to check she is still there in the hospital!
I've booked a short break for me and the kids next week . I can't even speak to my mother or send a care package in - it has destroyed me is not an exaggeration. Thanks for listening.