...maybe you could help others embarking on the journey?
Hi Keely,
Like you I am visiting TP for the first time in months. Straight away I was struck by your grief and loss. I feel that I am just placing my feet on the 1st steps of your journey and last night I was thinking about how I might feel should I loose my Mum and what I would regret not doing for her. it was lovely to read about how much you cared for and loved your Mum.
My Mum's memory & mental well being are on the decline and I don't know how to help her. She is unwilling to enter into any conversations about seeing her GP or seeking help. I've tried talking to her GP but they tell me there is nothing they can do unless she sees them of her own free will. She is 76. Even if she does see a doctor under pressure from me I wonder what they can do for her and whether she will regret it & blame me. I sense her fear even though she avoids the subject.
Everyday she becomes more anxious seeing the negatives in everything & everybody, afraid to do anything unless she is with me, sleeping less, avoiding social contact and no longer cooking for herself. After my step father died (3 years ago this Bank Holiday) she moved closer (15 mins away rather than 2 hrs). It was a massive undertaking which pushed us both to the limits but she was adamant about moving and I'm so glad she's here now. She lives in a beautiful flat (small complex of 6) in a village on a direct bus link to Chester and my house, but already she dislikes many aspects of it and seems to want to move again to be even closer to me.
I just don't seem to know what to do day-to-day to help and its making me sadder. I've tried all sorts but easy working full-time with a family.
The reason for rambling on like this is that you must have so much insight and experience to share and so maybe you could direct your grief into this, perhaps even become a moderator on the forum (I noticed they are asking for volunteers).
I posted some time ago and received some good advice which helped me understand the problem better and not be so hard on my Mum as she may be sick. The Forum does seem to be truly supportive advice on many levels.
Anyway just something to think on.
Remember all the good times you had with your Mum and celebrate her life rather than be sad about loosing her. I'm sure that is what she would want.