Casbow, I have been following your threads and comments for others, and I have heartfelt concern for *you*.
Having children is no guarantee that care will come from them. Of my mother's four daughters, I was the one able and willing to have her live with me. Each of the others found excuses, and two of the three recommended care homes. People find all kinds of excuses to be unavailable. And, truly, sometimes they are just not up to facing the inconsistency, stress, and emotional onslaught that care brings.
It seems to me you do need help, and if you feel abandoned by your sons, you need to contact your GP and others to ask for assistance. I'm unsure you are going to be able to keep your OH at home by yourself, Casbow. Were it me and my OH was in such a situation, I don't think I could keep him here - and here I am taking care of my mother! Sometimes we just have to say "I can't do this any more, please send me a lifeline because I'm drowning."
I'm so sorry about the situation you are in. If I lived near you, I'd try to help, but there's an ocean between us.
I hope some others come along and talk about how the kids don't help. I have had my own threads about how my sisters haven't help and how this makes me feel forlorn and abandoned by them.