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Respite time or selfishness?


Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
A question which is dividing family and friend opinion. Basically my youngest son, a fellow karaoke enthusiast has booked and paid for a 3 night break so he and I can to go to Benidorm for a weekend of dad and lad time karaoke and occasional alcoholic refreshment for March 6th for three nights. This was before Pauline was hospitalised and ok with everyone at that time. However, P is now in hospital and will be in during the proposed and paid for stay, booked and paid for by my son. Question is, if I go, which I have a mind to, will i be wrong in leaving visits to others and swanning off on what my lad not only sees as a deserved weekend away in my favourite holiday spot, but also my swan song on my previous travelling and holidaying lifestyle? My kids spilt on it and only one of her sons that I have asked is also in favour but does that make it right? So confused.

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
It's only 3 nights, my vote would be go for it - time spent with your son is precious and a well deserved break for you. Let's see what others say.


Registered User
Jun 4, 2016
Hi. I wasn't familiar with your situation but I've just read some of your previous posts. I'd say that you deserve a break and a few days in a favourite place with your son sounds perfect. Your wife is safe and cared for and there are others who can visit.


Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
You have a week in which to see if Pauline is Improving now she is in hospital. If she deteriorated then you would cancel immediately but if she shows improvement then three days away isn’t much to ask.


Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
Don’t be troubled by others opinions. You need a break, your son has done an unselfish thing In providing that break so go and enjoy it.


Registered User
Feb 14, 2012
South East Coast.
Don’t be troubled by others opinions. You need a break, your son has done an unselfish thing In providing that break so go and enjoy it.
Very definitly you should go, I've been in the same predicament recently and felt so guilty about going away for few days, Pauline is safe and being well cared for and 3 days is such a short time. Enjoy quality fun time with your son and come home refreshed and happy thoughts to think about of you little break


Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
Mum recently went to a rehab ward, I went online and booked a week away in the knowledge she was in a safe environment.
As Carers we have no idea what out future will bring, we can’t plan out the next ten years as others do. In a way isn’t it part of our duty to look after our own mental health?
if you turn down a bit of happiness when it comes your way there is a chance bitterness could creep in at a later date? No one benefits from that!
I risk access your trip as safer to go than stay haha!!

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
Your wife is being looked after in hospital, and Pauline will have visitors. In the life of a carer a couple of days away are always precious, so enjoy your holiday, Agzy.


Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
Yes, you deserve a break and have it arranged. Pauline being in hospital does not change that. Ignore what family members say as it is not their role to tell you what to do or to stand in self-righteous judgement. Have a great time sure in the knowledge that she is safe and looked after.


Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
South East
Definitely go @Agzy , as everyone has said you deserve some you time and you will return refreshed . Pauline will be warm , fed and cared for . It’s only 3 days, enjoy it .


Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
Go and enjoy. If anything changes in the next week you can still cancel, but you need the break. You are not 'swanning anywhere', but having a deserved break with your son.


Registered User
May 27, 2016
Please go and enjoy it, it is not selfish at all. It was a kind and loving gesture by a good lad.
Three days is a very short time, indeed. Tell us about the trip on your return. Xxx


Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
This sounds like something one of her children said. I wonder how many holidays they have had?
Three days is not long at all. You know your wife will be looked after.
Quite so Canary!
How selfish of her son to guilt trip Agzy about taking a mini break!
Does her son not want to have to bother to visit?
Three days is nothing Agzy go go go!


Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Thank you all. My son and I have agreed we want to go but will make final decision at least 48 hours before we are due to leave. All depends on her progress or lack of it etc. Thanks again