1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. avian999

    avian999 Registered User

    Oct 24, 2011
    10
    Cardigan Wales
    I have been asked by the doctor if I would like to put my husband into respite care for a few days so I can get a break.
    Just wondered if anyone has done this and what was it like when the person comes back home..
    Any help would be appreciated..Thanks.
     
  2. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,976
    Suffolk
    Oh yes, very important you do it! Make you feel better and more able to cope.
    When he came back he had lost some of the nastiness that made me decide to put him in! Can't, off hand, think of any bad things that needed compete re-training!
     
  3. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    I have looked in to respite for MIL been told minimum 2 weeks at £1000 a week
     
  4. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,976
    Suffolk
    Wow, that's a lot for Wales. I thought prices were cheaper over there?
    Prices here range from £600 to over £1000, and I know many homes have a minimum of 2 weeks, though not all. It helps the carees settle, apparently.
    Food for thought, but remember it's not you who should be paying and if your husband is under the financial limit, the LA should pay. I did it for my OH and the break certainly helped.
     
  5. avian999

    avian999 Registered User

    Oct 24, 2011
    10
    Cardigan Wales
    Thanks.

    Thanks for that....I really think it would be a good idea its just how to get him to go in...
     
  6. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,623
    USA
    I'm sure you will make a decision that is best for you and your husband, avian, but I do have to comment that given all the people I've seen on here who are desperate for respite care, or who have asked, but not been able to get it, that if you are being offered respite, just say yes! One of the things I've learnt about dementia is that when anyone offers help, I should just accept it, even if I think I don't need help.

    I would also take as long a respite period as is possible.

    As to how to convince your husband to go, I've seen several strategies mentioned here. One is to have the doctor inform your husband that he (your husband) must go to respite (always let someone else deliver the message/be the bad guy/take the fall when possible--it keeps the onus off you), either for his benefit, yours, or both. Another is for you to tell your husband the doctor has ordered it. Another is to just state that you must have a break and so he is going--no discussion. Perhaps others here have additional suggestions?

    I hope this works out for you.
     

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