Reassurance 😊

[Sarah4]

Hi I’m new to this but came here to see if anyone is in similar situations.my mum had dementia.as Carer and have been for over 4 years as she has no savings income ect I’ve had to do it alone .its been a hard time but got thru it .past couple weeks she’s been very anger aggressive ect .i noticed this got worse when she had to take antibiotics but wasn’t sure if that made a difference or not .i look after her house kids ect and it affects my mental side to but trying to stay strong 😊she is incompetent both ways to .the memory service nurses check up on me once in a long while .Sometimes you just want to know your not alone thank you for your time x

 

[Mumlikesflowers]

If your Mum has a diagnosis and she has care needs, you should be able to get Attendance Allowance for her. And then if you care for 35 hours or more and she is getting AA, you can get Carers Allowance yourself. However quite possibly you're juggling caring for your Mum with other responsibilities. I cared for Mum full-time without a day off from May 22 to September 23 and if you've been locked into the situation for 4 years with few moments away, you've been at the coal face for a very long time.

 

[try again]

Hopefully the antibiotics will help. Do they think she has a UTI?
Can you not tell her they are vitamin tablets the doctor needs her to take, would that be more acceptable to her?

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @Sarah4 and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. You have done really well looking after your mum for such a long time. From what you have said it does sound as if you do not have any help to look after her. I would suggest that you contact your local adult social services and ask for an urgent needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for yourself. You really need a break from caring now and again and hopefully social services would be able to arrange that for you.
You have also been given some good advice regarding applying for attendance allowance and carers allowance. If you do decide to go ahead and apply please contact your local Age Concern or Citizen's Advice on how to complete the forms as they are quite complicated.

 

[Sarah4]

If your Mum has a diagnosis and she has care needs, you should be able to get Attendance Allowance for her. And then if you care for 35 hours or more and she is getting AA, you can get Carers Allowance yourself. However quite possibly you're juggling caring for your Mum with other responsibilities. I cared for Mum full-time without a day off from May 22 to September 23 and if you've been locked into the situation for 4 years with few moments away, you've been at the coal face for a very long time.

Thank you for your reply bless you and yes very hard and you stay strong to keep things going but sometimes your own mind stays on a hamster wheel if that makes scence .i looked into the attendance allowance and going to get that on a roll hope u r well thank you x

 

[Sarah4]

Hello @Sarah4 and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. You have done really well looking after your mum for such a long time. From what you have said it does sound as if you do not have any help to look after her. I would suggest that you contact your local adult social services and ask for an urgent needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for yourself. You really need a break from caring now and again and hopefully social services would be able to arrange that for you.
You have also been given some good advice regarding applying for attendance allowance and carers allowance. If you do decide to go ahead and apply please contact your local Age Concern or Citizen's Advice on how to complete the forms as they are quite complicated.

Thank you for your reply and I’ve had assessment but all I have been told is the same thing about costs ect if that makes scence.im staying hopeful .ive looked into the attendance allowance and going to get that on the roll to .had to do my own homework for a long time and that’s when I thought I would come on here and relise that horrible D word affects a lot of people /family’s ☹️ . Thank u for your reply bless u x

 

[Sarah4]

Hopefully the antibiotics will help. Do they think she has a UTI?
Can you not tell her they are vitamin tablets the doctor needs her to take, would that be more acceptable to her?

Thank u for your reply .shes taken the antibiotics it was for a cut on her foot wich has healed fine but noticed since she was on them she became very unsettled and angry but can antibiotics cause that I was unsure or is it the dementia taking a toll as she is on tablets to help with her calmness . Staying hopeful all best hope u well x

 

[Sarah4]

Hello @Sarah4 and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. You have done really well looking after your mum for such a long time. From what you have said it does sound as if you do not have any help to look after her. I would suggest that you contact your local adult social services and ask for an urgent needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for yourself. You really need a break from caring now and again and hopefully social services would be able to arrange that for you.
You have also been given some good advice regarding applying for attendance allowance and carers allowance. If you do decide to go ahead and apply please contact your local Age Concern or Citizen's Advice on how to complete the forms as they are quite complicated.

Thank you for your reply and yes ur correct .i been doing my own homework if that makes scence to get some things in order as everything feels lost if that makes scence.staying hopeful x

 

[Sarah4]

I would like to say thank you for your reply’s it is comforting for my head to hear other sides x