Really upset tonight

tryingmybest

Registered User
May 22, 2015
626
Hi. I'm really upset tonight over a tissue box!!!!

Mum lives with me and I have no idea of what stage she is, but basically she cannot do anything for herself now regarding showering and toileting, is incontinent at night but rarely in the day, has very little recollection of the past but often surpises me what she remembers day to day and is unable to make a cup of tea or anything anymore. However, she can have reasonable conversations although she does get her words muddled at times, still sings, enjoys going out and socialising as long as I am with her but she won't go out to a day centre or Salvation Army lunches or Over 60's without me so I am with her all the time and am her sole carer. That is not a problem as I was a carer before she came to live with me until earlier this year, and gave up work to look after her and at the moment do not need any outside help. She is easy to be with and has never been any real trouble.

However, tonight after putting her to bed earlier than usual, I was on the computer when she called me upstairs and was really distressed. All it was about was that her tissue box had fallen on the floor from the bedside table and she couldn't reach it. She then got all silly and started sobbing, well grizzling really, and being really difficult, not aggressive exactly but not at all like her normal passive self. This is not a side I have seen of her before and I have always thought myself lucky as how she is so easy to be with (although she sometimes gets upset about getting up some mornings and having a shower) and it's really upset me.

Have we reached some sort of turning point in this dreadful illness? I'm feeling really bad as although I truly have the patience of a saint, I got a bit annoyed and told her it was only a tissue box, the problem was sorted and to stop being silly and I was going back downstairs. I feel I was a bit tough on her which I've never had to be before but she got herself in such a state.
 
Last edited:

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
The straw that bent the strong camels back

Or

A UTI?

Those are my thoughts

Hugs xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,051
GLASGOW
Please dont overthink this and read too much into it. I often wonder if my Mum has reached another turning point and she is back to her normal self in a couple of days.

Maybe she is just a bit tired after all the excitement of Christmas. Changes of routine are hard for everyone. Hang in there. Wait to see what tomorrow brings.
 

Katrine

Registered User
Jan 20, 2011
2,839
England
You say she went to bed earlier than usual. Do you think she might be coming down with something? I feel like that if I've got a virus. Every tiny thing makes me cry, including being too weak to reach the tissue box.

Alternatively, it might just be separation anxiety (think small child). Probably "there, there, here's Teddy to give you a kiss" would be better than "stop being silly, you're a big girl", but you can't have the patience of a saint 24/7.
 

tryingmybest

Registered User
May 22, 2015
626
Thank you for your replies. She did have a UTI weekend before last and finished her antibiotics on Boxing Day. TBH she didn't seem any different with it anyway and it's only the second one shes had since she's lived with me. I just thought I should have her checked out as she was more incontinent than usual at night and it was a UTI but I think thats fine now. I'm sure she will have forgotten the incident tomorrow. I just needed to offload as I was upset as it was so out of character.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
I've had a few "don't be silly mum, go to sleep now" moments and they are usually over what I see as the simplest of things. When my mum is tired I think it triggers massive insecurity and fear in her.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,732
aww tryingmybest, I think you are amazing and doing so much for your Mum with so much love. I'd be surprised if things didn't happen from time to time to make you a bit sad - you are doing so much. I agree that perhaps your Ma is a bit tired or perhaps the UTI hasn't completely gone - it's worth checking if tomorrow isn't a better day but fingers crossed all will be forgotten by then and you will be back on an even keel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

nita

Registered User
Dec 30, 2011
1,822
Essex
Could it be that your Mum had a momentary realisation of what she couldn't do any more - in this case, reach something? My Mum has moments when it dawns on her that she has lost her capabilities and it upsets her. This upsets me too but it seems to pass quite quickly. It is hard as it can come out of the blue but it can go away as fast.
 

tryingmybest

Registered User
May 22, 2015
626
Could it be that your Mum had a momentary realisation of what she couldn't do any more - in this case, reach something? My Mum has moments when it dawns on her that she has lost her capabilities and it upsets her. This upsets me too but it seems to pass quite quickly. It is hard as it can come out of the blue but it can go away as fast.
Yes I think you could be right Nita. Thank you. . My Mum finds it extremely hard to accept things she cant do anymore and that's when she gets down. I think that's exactly what happened here, she got herself in a state as she couldn't reach the box of tissues on the floor. All forgotten now so......onwards and upwards.