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Reality bites-this is not how I thought it would be

Blimey

Registered User
Jun 6, 2012
20
Oh I realised when I posted I was not at the end of your thread and that David has since passed away so sorry for what must seem insensitive, I hope your ok you did brilliantly in terrible circumstances.
 

pony-mad

Registered User
May 23, 2014
1,073
Mid-Wales
Tre, please accept my condolences. So sudden, but how I would wish my end could be; surrounded by love. X


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tigerqueen

Registered User
Mar 11, 2014
75
Essex
Just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you and your family at this sad time. Sending love. Take care of you now x
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,617
USA
Just stopping by to say I was thinking about you today, and wondering how you are. No pressure to respond, just wanted to say hello.
 

tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
1,353
Herts
I am ok in a dazed sort of way. Everyone has gone back now and I am on my own but in a way I was on my own a lot in the last few weeks when it was more comfortable for David to stay in and he just wanted quiet and me to be there to keep him company.
His sons told me they felt a bit wary about sitting where David used to sit- I am the opposite in that I feel comforted by sitting where he used to sit.
Tomorrow the bed and other equipment is all being taken back. I would not want to keep it but I think the big empty spaces left behind will be hard to cope with.
I am a bit daunted by all the stuff I will need to do admin wise. I am hoping a friend who I know did a lot of this for her mum will help me.
The thing I do find is that there seem to be many more hours in the day. It took me two hours to get David up and dressed and an hour and a half to feed him each meal.
There is plenty of stuff to do. I have not even written a Christmas card yet but I am just avoiding these tasks with displacement activities.
Tre
 

pony-mad

Registered User
May 23, 2014
1,073
Mid-Wales
Dear Tre, felt very touched by your post. I could feel the empty space that David has left in your life. He was very lucky to have you caring for him right to the end. Now you must care for yourself as you attempt to put your life together, accept help to deal with the essentials, don't do anything you find difficult!!! Sending love and strength. X


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bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
Tre these are early days and time is needed to reorientation yourself to a life without caring for david. Just take your time and don't feel pressurised by the season.
I hope all goes well for you and I hope you will be back to tell usxx
 

tigerlady

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
427
I am relatively new to TP and am gradually reading the threads - just read this for the first time and I am in tears but your David had the comfort of being in his own home with his loving family around him - what a wonderful woman you are to have coped so well. Your love shines through this thread like a beacon. I am so sorry for your loss but glad that you were able to be with him till the end in his own home. Sending all my love and much respect Jane xxxxx
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
Tre, these are wise words from pony-mad and bemused.
It is only natural that you should feel dazed still, and you will need time to adjust to your loss. Christmas comes, and Christmas goes, what is important is that you look to yourself now. What you have been through, are still going through is what matters, so please try not to take on any extra pressure, regardless of the season.
Only do what you feel you want to tre.
You are in my thoughts,
xx
 

nita

Registered User
Dec 30, 2011
1,912
Essex
I can imagine the big hole in your life and the empty feeling you must have. It must be hard to adjust to not being a "carer" any more. I am sorry you are going through this hard time but I am sure it will get better little by little. As you say, you must keep doing the displacement activities to occupy your mind.