Thankyou one and all, for your kind and supportive comments. These last couple of weeks have been something of a nightmare ...but you've all kept me going.
Eric was due for respite on 22nd March and in some stupid way I suppose I thought I should just keep going until then...
Perhaps I didn't want to admit that this was becoming impossible...and because of that I have allowed myself to get to a point of breakdown.
Perhaps I should have held my hands up earlier and instead of saying "I'm struggling" should have said..like I did thismorning.."I can't do this any more"
Perhaps that's what the SW was waiting to hear.
I count my blessings that she was at the other end of the phone when I called. She was instantly concerned and had the whole thing sorted within 10 minutes of our conversation.
I think I've misjudged her...
She asked if I wanted to take Eric in myself on Sunday or if the taxi should pick him up. You know I just couldn't think or decide..I burst into tears again and told her I didn't know what to anymore, I was too tired to think..and asked her to make the decision. So she did.
Eric will go on Sunday in the taxi...I just have to pack for him.
The SW even asked if I would be ok to do that....
xx