Please help to calm me down

[Helen33]

I had my first appointment today at 2pm with the agency that is to deal with the w/e respite. The manager and the carer were to come together. By 2.20pm no one has arrived so I give them a ring. The woman tells me that the lady is in a meeting and that they won't be coming today and she was sorry that no one rang me this morning to tell me and re-arrange. I was livid and told her that I had had to cancel a client, rearrange my crossroads sitter and keep my husband from his afternoon rest all because of them originally needing to come at this time!!!! (I told a porky about the client and the sitter) but it was true about the afternoon rest. The woman just did not understand why I was so annoyed and kept assuring me that they put patient care first. I said how did she consider it putting my husband's needs first when he was geared up to meeting them and missing out on his rest only to be told that they weren't coming and now I am trying to get him to rest!!!!

I know none of you can help me but I am so very upset. I have rung the SW and she is going to ring me back. I have asked the SW Dept. for names and telephone numbers of other agencies because I will need an awful lot of reassurance that this one is trustworthy.

I wish I could just give up.

 

[Nebiroth]

I think that you are quite right to be livid! I would be.

Obviously the woman has no idea what it is like to look after someone with dementia, and the chaos that can ensue when one makes arrangements that don't follow through properly.

One of the dreads with my father was trying to explain that someone was due to visit - trying to get him to remember and understand was really hard work, and we'd have the whole day with "who is coming? When are they coming? What for?" every five minutes. But even worse was when someone didn't turn up, and trying to explain that!

It got so bad that we just didn't say we were expecting anyone,. as it became pointless.

 

[Bookworm]

So sorry to hear of all this Helen - the absolutely last thing you need right now. I don't have amazing words of wisdom - so am resorting to music - Enya - May it be - from Lord of the Rings. I hope it may bring you a little peace & pleasure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTQAAupd25g&feature=related

 

[Helen33]

In desperation I rang our Manager of Crossroads and just said 'please can you help me?' and I explained. I asked whether she could check whether Crossroads definitely could not provide this service because I had been told that they only provided a service for under 65's. Anyway it seems that they might well be able to provide this for us after all especially now that funding is secured I have to wait for the SW to ring me around 3.30pm and ask the SW to ring our Manager of Crossroads. Please keep everything crossed because if this can be done, todays events will have meant something even better has turned up!!!

I am in a very anxious, agitated state and poor Alan is just wondering about looking lost and confused

Thank you Nebiroth and Sue for your caring words

 

[jenniferpa]

Helen - you have every right to be angry as you are relying on these people to be responsible for your husband, and this isn't a good start. I can't say if this is par for the course with these people (and the person you were speaking to not grasping the problem is not reassuring). Was this the manager or the carer? And did they give you another date/time? My feeling is I would actually wait and meet both of them, particularly the carer, and I would be less concerned if the person you spoke to this morning was the manager: lets face it, any carer who had dealt with dementia knows it's to their own advantage to be consistent. If on the other hand this was the carer I'd be more wary.

Sorry - trifle confusing post here but I am cross on your behalf.

 

[Izzy]

I have my fingers crossed for you. I hope SW rings when you expect them to. Izzy x

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I am angry on your behalf. I would also tell them that if this is an example of their efficiency and care, it is not very reassuring at all.

Here's hoping the Crossroads connection works out for you. Everything is crossed

 

[sad nell]

Helen love it is distressing, sorting these things out, so that whilst your away you can relax knowing Alan is in good hands, just might have worked to your advantage though if you can get crossroads to provide the service sure you would feel more at ease. but i agree meet the other carer he/she might just be a gem. Our Helen telling porkies i would never have believed it, but needs must, hope you feel less distressed now love pam

 

[Helen33]

The SW has phoned on time. She has just phoned again to say that she has been in touch with the original Agency and told them that their services will no longer be required and why. She was appalled. She has also contacted the Manager of Crossroads and it has been confirmed that Crossroads can provide this service. The forms have been filled in already and I should hear within a day or two who will be sitting with my husband for those 3 days and 2 nights and it could well be people that we both already know

I am completely gobsmacked at todays events - how something dreadful has turned into something better than I could have imagined.

I really want to thank you for your support in my time of crisis. It did help having reassurance that this was not how things should be and it also helped having contact with you when feeling particularly vulnerable. THANKS

 

[Izzy]

Excellent!! Well done! Izzy x

 

[jenniferpa]

Talk about a rollercoaster ride! I am glad that the situation is resolving itself.

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Helen

I have only just read your plea from start to finish and cannot believe such a turnaround in such a short time.
I also cannot believe the nerve of the agency to think you could even consider having them work for you after such a let down.
I`m so pleased it has all been resolved but annoyed you should have had to go through this in the first place. Why couldn`t Crossroads have told you from the start they were able to provide in house respite.
LOve xx

 

[Helen33]

Why couldn`t Crossroads have told you from the start they were able to provide in house respite.

They did Sylvia. I was pursuing it and typed up all the forms for the other SW (the one who kept being off work). She reported back that Crossroads couldn't do it because they only dealt with under 65's. She reported this to me and also to her office. We all just took it for granted that what she said was correct. Guess what. It turns out that it was completely incorrect and we are all stunned by this revelation including her office. It's just a good job that I phoned Crossroads because I felt I needed to talk to someone about what had happened and I knew you all had your own issues to deal with today. It was because of this phone call that things came to light!!

I can't believe the turnaround either. I am very pleased though that I don't have to sleep on it and that it was resolved today so that I can let go of it all.

Poor Alan has suffered today. He woke up completely confused this morning. He didn't know how to open his shaver wallet and he also didn't know how to turn the shaver on or where to shave. I put all his fresh clothes out for him, as usual, but this morning he had no idea what to do with them This has happened before in the morning and I am hoping that it will pass like the other times. The only peace Alan has had today is watching a DVD of Lassie which he watched with the sitter whilst I went shopping. The sitter said he was engrossed in the film from start to finish.

Love

 

[Grannie G]

He woke up completely confused this morning. He didn't know how to open his shaver wallet and he also didn't know how to turn the shaver on or where to shave. I put all his fresh clothes out for him, as usual, but this morning he had no idea what to do with them This has happened before in the morning and I am hoping that it will pass like the other times.

Love

Such similar symptoms of different conditions.