Thank you Kassy.
I'm going to be sensible - not something I am usually - and go to bed now and hope for a better day tomorrow. x
I'm going to be sensible - not something I am usually - and go to bed now and hope for a better day tomorrow. x
Panic stricken - notification of initial CHC meeting received.
- Thread starter Saffie
- Start date
Aw Saffie, I hope you will feel better tomorrow, it's shocking to read these things.
I was captured in 1983 reading my daughters notes, I was shocked at the things I read and threatened about my behaviour if I dared to do it again.
I suppose 'they' thought I was protected but it felt like they were given carte blanche by my ignorance of the information.
I hope you lay all these Devils to sleep Saffie and manage to raise your chin and walk taller by knowing, warts and all. It's dreadfully painful. x
I was captured in 1983 reading my daughters notes, I was shocked at the things I read and threatened about my behaviour if I dared to do it again.
I suppose 'they' thought I was protected but it felt like they were given carte blanche by my ignorance of the information.
I hope you lay all these Devils to sleep Saffie and manage to raise your chin and walk taller by knowing, warts and all. It's dreadfully painful. x
Dear Saffie
I have only just come on and read what you have written today. Oh dear Saffie my heart goes out to you, the distress and despair you must have felt reading all that you did on those records. Traumatic for you, it will take some time to come to terms with it. It is a deep aching heartbreak to feel the anguish and suffering your husband has been through.
Not expressing myself well but I do deeply feel for you.
Hoping you manage sleep tonight and you are very much in my thoughts. In fact you have been the last few days....
With my love
Loo xxx
I have only just come on and read what you have written today. Oh dear Saffie my heart goes out to you, the distress and despair you must have felt reading all that you did on those records. Traumatic for you, it will take some time to come to terms with it. It is a deep aching heartbreak to feel the anguish and suffering your husband has been through.
Not expressing myself well but I do deeply feel for you.
Hoping you manage sleep tonight and you are very much in my thoughts. In fact you have been the last few days....
With my love
Loo xxx
Thank you so much Loo, Sylvia, Gringo and Gwen, for your posts and Izzy and Stanley for your 'good nights'.
It wasn't a good one but I didn't really expect it would be.
Gwen, I appreciate your posting when you are so troubled yourself. I wish you and your son all the very best for Monday. It does seem never-ending for you both.
Sylvia, maybe you are right but I wished I'd known more at the time then perhaps I could perhaps have understood better.
Loo, it must sound as though I thought everything was fine during the time Dave was in that hospital but that really isn't so. It's just that things were much worse, both mentally and physically, than I could have guessed from the hours I spent in the wards. The staff, especially the Sisters were very kind to me and one extremely so, even trying to stop me visiting every day. When I eventually cracked not long before Dave's transfer, having opened my mouth ask something and then just couldn't stop the tears, the Sister took me to a room and said they'd all been waiting for it to happen. So yes, I suppose the staff were trying to protect me but it's also protocol I guess.
Gringo, I have the other hospital's records to see yet if I am to go ahead with the CHC application. Oddly enough, someone from the CHC has just rung me wanting a copy of my Deputyship authority so it sounds as though things are moving on that front. Perhaps I will be to too late for those to be of any use to me.
I collect the notes from the present GP this afternoon on my way to seeing Dave. I'm not expecting too many nasty surprises there.
It wasn't a good one but I didn't really expect it would be.
Gwen, I appreciate your posting when you are so troubled yourself. I wish you and your son all the very best for Monday. It does seem never-ending for you both.
Sylvia, maybe you are right but I wished I'd known more at the time then perhaps I could perhaps have understood better.
Loo, it must sound as though I thought everything was fine during the time Dave was in that hospital but that really isn't so. It's just that things were much worse, both mentally and physically, than I could have guessed from the hours I spent in the wards. The staff, especially the Sisters were very kind to me and one extremely so, even trying to stop me visiting every day. When I eventually cracked not long before Dave's transfer, having opened my mouth ask something and then just couldn't stop the tears, the Sister took me to a room and said they'd all been waiting for it to happen. So yes, I suppose the staff were trying to protect me but it's also protocol I guess.
Gringo, I have the other hospital's records to see yet if I am to go ahead with the CHC application. Oddly enough, someone from the CHC has just rung me wanting a copy of my Deputyship authority so it sounds as though things are moving on that front. Perhaps I will be to too late for those to be of any use to me.
I collect the notes from the present GP this afternoon on my way to seeing Dave. I'm not expecting too many nasty surprises there.
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Hi Saffie, I'm sorry but I've only just come across this thread. What with everything that's been going on here there is lots that I've missed
It's awful that you're having to go through this for Dave and for yourself too. We had an extremely awful day yesterday and all because we all care too much. That to me though is the way it should be as where would our loved ones be without us!
You have always been very kind to me and I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that you get through this in a positive way.
Take care and lots of virtual hugs are being sent to you xxxx
It's awful that you're having to go through this for Dave and for yourself too. We had an extremely awful day yesterday and all because we all care too much. That to me though is the way it should be as where would our loved ones be without us!
You have always been very kind to me and I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that you get through this in a positive way.
Take care and lots of virtual hugs are being sent to you xxxx
Thank you FP. You have given so much love to your mother-in-law and I know will continue to do so as you are such a lovely caring person.
It was so nice to meet you in Solihull and I hope you might be able to come to another retreat sometime, family permitting. XXX
It was so nice to meet you in Solihull and I hope you might be able to come to another retreat sometime, family permitting. XXX
Dear Saffie
I was remembering what you had written in the past and feeling the horror you must have felt reading the records, that it was so much worse than you knew at the time. From what you said in the past Dave's physical and mental state was bad enough, profoundly worrying and upsetting for you when it was happening.
.
I know how frustrated, and angry, I was that in the three hospitals Henry was in over six months that I was not being informed about some serious matters, particularly when he was critically ill and that had built up over a long period and I was never told. But I don't want to go on about me.
Much as I wanted to be informed at the time, I don't think I could now read all the details in the records. It was an ordeal when living through it and as Gringo said, how brave of you to do that. It must have been profoundly distressing, to say the least.
I do hope that reading the records you were collecting today did not have any nasty surprises. Just reading about it all again must bring it all back to you.
Again I am not expressing myself well, words can at times be inadequate, I do feel for you, and I'm glad you did write here and you know how much we all care about you.
With much love and a warm hug.
Loo xxx
No it didn't sound like that, Saffie. That you thougnt everything was fine. I know you didn't. Remembering what you wrote in your early posts on TP. We were going through similar situations then. Although Dave's physical condition was so much more serious with his amputation surgery and other problems.
I was remembering what you had written in the past and feeling the horror you must have felt reading the records, that it was so much worse than you knew at the time. From what you said in the past Dave's physical and mental state was bad enough, profoundly worrying and upsetting for you when it was happening.
.
I know how frustrated, and angry, I was that in the three hospitals Henry was in over six months that I was not being informed about some serious matters, particularly when he was critically ill and that had built up over a long period and I was never told. But I don't want to go on about me.
Much as I wanted to be informed at the time, I don't think I could now read all the details in the records. It was an ordeal when living through it and as Gringo said, how brave of you to do that. It must have been profoundly distressing, to say the least.
I do hope that reading the records you were collecting today did not have any nasty surprises. Just reading about it all again must bring it all back to you.
Again I am not expressing myself well, words can at times be inadequate, I do feel for you, and I'm glad you did write here and you know how much we all care about you.
With much love and a warm hug.
Loo xxx
I too have only just caught up with this thread. I'm so sorry Saffie, it must be incredibly hard to read those notes. I have nothing helpful to say, just sending hugs and love xxx.
Thank you Jennie. You too Loo.
The notes I collected yesterday were from the sugery where Dave has been a patient only since he was moved into the nursing home in June 2011, so aren't that detailed and the folder is pretty thin - not really worth the £15! Still, these are really the only records relevant to how Dave is today and that surely is all that will be of interest to the assessment team. Past records, even the hospital ones, will be dismissed as just that -past and of no relevance.
They do, however, include the dischage notes from the community MH hospital of course, so I'm wondering if those might be enough for me to go on for the CHC application so that I won't have to apply to see the actual record of his time in that hospital.
I think I might work on that premise and then if successful (ha,ha!) I can get those records as they will be relevant for retrospective funding- if I ever get that far.
That will save me having to read through these records which I am now certain will be equally, if not more, distressing that the others. He was there for around 6 months too - so very many daily records!
I have received notification from the CHC team this morning that the checklist , although set very low, has resulted in Dave being put forward fo the full assessment. The checklist was in August and, although from the assessor who carried it out told me this at the time, this is the first I have officially bee informed of this.
The notes I collected yesterday were from the sugery where Dave has been a patient only since he was moved into the nursing home in June 2011, so aren't that detailed and the folder is pretty thin - not really worth the £15! Still, these are really the only records relevant to how Dave is today and that surely is all that will be of interest to the assessment team. Past records, even the hospital ones, will be dismissed as just that -past and of no relevance.
They do, however, include the dischage notes from the community MH hospital of course, so I'm wondering if those might be enough for me to go on for the CHC application so that I won't have to apply to see the actual record of his time in that hospital.
I think I might work on that premise and then if successful (ha,ha!) I can get those records as they will be relevant for retrospective funding- if I ever get that far.
That will save me having to read through these records which I am now certain will be equally, if not more, distressing that the others. He was there for around 6 months too - so very many daily records!
I have received notification from the CHC team this morning that the checklist , although set very low, has resulted in Dave being put forward fo the full assessment. The checklist was in August and, although from the assessor who carried it out told me this at the time, this is the first I have officially bee informed of this.
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I've just caught up with your thread Saffie. I'm sorry the notes were so upsetting. Sometimes just reading back through my posts about what we went through with my dad can be upsetting, even though I've written them. A lot of the really bad times I've mentally filed away. It must be 100 times worse to read of things you were unaware of.
I didn't obtain hospital notes when we went through CHC. I'm not sure what they would have added for future funding, although as you say for retrospective funding they may well be more significant.
Now you've had the confirmation of the result of the checklist have they indicated when the DST meeting is going to be?
I didn't obtain hospital notes when we went through CHC. I'm not sure what they would have added for future funding, although as you say for retrospective funding they may well be more significant.
Now you've had the confirmation of the result of the checklist have they indicated when the DST meeting is going to be?
No, Sue, it was just the confirmation. However, they rang yestereday for my Deputyship authority, so I guess it must be in the pipeline. Maybe 2015?!
Why have they asked for your deputyship? i have no deputyship but it never stopped the full CHC assessment taking place.
I really don't know but I assumeed that they needed to know that I had the authority to peruse the assessment. Perhaps you have LPA instead.
Hi Saffie.
No i have don't have LPA either, i have been making notes for deputyship and filling in forms but have just put it all to one side for now. i never got asked about it regarding the assessment, they just new i was next of kin.
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