Today was a good visit. I got there later than planned at 11.30 - road works and a diversion!
Gary was pleased to see me and calm, he was with a male nurse who was looking at the photos I'd taken in a few days ago. Gary drank most of a cup of tea, which is an improvement. We sat for a while holding hands, he kissed me and told me he loved me. Another nurse joined us and said he'd eaten some toast for breakfast but that he wouldn't let anyone shave him, he looked very unkempt so I told him his daughter Jane was coming later and how about a shower? He said 'Ok, come on then' the nurse raced to his room to get his toiletries and we took him to a bathroom to shower before he changed his mind!
When I undressed him he was wearing a pad that was very soiled and the nurse said it was an ongoing problem - no one had told me that before, why not? Between us we managed to shower him and wash his hair, even getting some smiles (it was a bit of a pantomime - I was soaked) but I loved it, I love looking after him. We tried to get him to use the loo but he just can't seem to sit down on it, I tried every trick I had, and I've got loads but he couldn't do it. It wasn't a raised seat, apparently they only have one toilet with a raised seat in the unit - WHY?! He has much less problem sitting in a chair so why don't they try using a wheeled commode that is higher and has arms each side? I want to blow a fuse with them but feel I need to keep them onside. It seems such an easy thing to me to address people's problems and needs, I can't understand how they can't see how they could make things easier.
Anyway, Jane arrived just before lunch and he was really pleased to see her, we took him in for his meal, told him we were going to get something to eat and would be back later. When we got back he was becoming agitated and they were struggling to keep him calm, he'd forgotten we were coming back and didn't know where we'd gone, they gave him some Lorazapam and he was fine although it was difficult when we left. I find it hard to leave when he's agitated and even harder when he's not. After visits like this I feel I could cope with him at home and manage his problems with more understanding than he's getting at the moment