I am sure it will Dollybird, I just have to get used to the fact that mum like it or not will be spending more time in bed and I have to keep on top of any carers and what they do, do not want them to take over. So many phone calls to deal with, this morning the phone rang at 7.30, I was hardly awake!! and then the care team turned up at 8.45 and me with no trousers on, only a t- shirt!!! something I will have to get used to. Note to myself, at the very least make sure I have cleaned my teeth!
Oh brother
- Thread starter Tin
- Start date
I found it dreadfully hard when mum came home from hospital after her stroke - so many people visited and phoned with help, but when you're the only person co-ordinating all this, it's very hard! I remember one day, three people from the care agency, a district nurse, a Physio and an OT and the live in carer were all here at one time, and there's me trying to have conversations with everyone! But, it will pass Tin, take all the help that's offered and then it will calm and you can keep what you need. I absolutely hate not being in control of life, but have got used to it and to keep mum at home, this is how it has to be.
I have a gas engineer here today, fitting a new boiler for me. As usual with this house he has unearthed some issues, but he seems a good guy and is in the process of sorting everything out for me. A bit of upheaval for a couple of days, but a new boiler at the end of it, peace of mind in relation to looking after mum as well.
I've left mum in bed today!
Hope the rest of your day goes OK.
I have a gas engineer here today, fitting a new boiler for me. As usual with this house he has unearthed some issues, but he seems a good guy and is in the process of sorting everything out for me. A bit of upheaval for a couple of days, but a new boiler at the end of it, peace of mind in relation to looking after mum as well.
I've left mum in bed today!
Hope the rest of your day goes OK.
I'm full of admiration for Tin and Marnie.The 'care'I provided for my parents was very much hands off.I have cleaned up toilet accidents in an emergency but absolutely not prepared for it to be part of my daily routine.I found the best care for them but it was never going to be me.I have the greatest respect for anyone who can make such huge sacrifices.
Really nice of you to say. For my part I don't see it as a sacrifice, when mum first moved in with me, my own life did seem to be winding down, less and less work coming my way clients finding cheaper alternatives and me just feeling too tired to fight and lower prices for those people. My social life was mainly in my own home, friends coming to spend weekends with me and small dinner parties. So mum moving in filled that gap for me, I suddenly had a purpose and I was still able to entertain, some friends have dropped off, but the good ones are still with me and bring suppers to me so that I can still have conversations that are not all based on my role and Dementia. Like Marnie I wan to keep my mum with me for as long as possible. Although none of this has been smooth sailing, obsessions, restlessness and sleepless night have definitely been hard and like most people, in the dark of the night I have doubted myself and thought that maybe mum would be better in a care home.
Now we are at this point and I still want to give mum the best quality of life that I can and that she will get some benefit from. Sad that I probably will not be able to take her out daily, but who knows, maybe I will get to do that again.
Been following your thread Tin and just wanted to send support to you.
Marnie's input and advice always so good.
The profiling bed and mattress will make such a difference and, as you've always found, you will settle in to the new routine and make adjustments to suit you and your Mum. Another "one step at a time" stage....
Sending love and ((((hugs)))) to you xxx
Marnie's input and advice always so good.
The profiling bed and mattress will make such a difference and, as you've always found, you will settle in to the new routine and make adjustments to suit you and your Mum. Another "one step at a time" stage....
Sending love and ((((hugs)))) to you xxx
Thanks, Everything is due today. The house is so quiet, telephone silent and no nurses, think they are all planning to be here same time as delivery. I have emptied bigger bedroom rolled up my beautiful Persian rug and now just floorboards that don't look too bad, with a quick polish they will be ok. I am hoping I can put some rugs down, just have to wait and see what they all say.
I am suddenly very tired today, probably due to all the furniture moving I have done over the past two days and of course worrying, but trying to except mum's limitations. Although mum's continual chatter used to force me into another room, this is too quiet for me. She is still muttering a few things, but mainly in her sleep.
I hope it all goes well today Tin. I've got rugs rolled up in corners, bedding all over spare rooms, in fact I would say the house is a mess, but I've got used to it! I remember last year when mum was in hospital after the stroke and I spent some hours dismantling her bed and moving everything to another room, so that the hospital bed could be positioned in her bedroom, plus the hoist and commode. It felt very sad that mum would no longer be sleeping in a normal bed, and it still does sometimes, but the hospital bed has helped so much. I hated it at first, but have warmed to it!
I've left bare floorboards in her bedroom as it makes transfers so much easier. Moving commodes, stand aids and hoists on carpet is hard, doable, but hard. I think the floorboards have taken a bit of a bashing in places, but that can all be sorted one day.
I suppose it is a sacrifice in a way, @notsogooddtr. My life is on hold. I'm mid fifties, it feels like the best years of my life at the moment, but here I am, locked in the house with mum and not able to go anywhere! But so far I have no regrets. It will be three years soon and I think we have a way to go yet, but I am looking forward to resuming my life some time yet. It's just a matter of time ...
I've left bare floorboards in her bedroom as it makes transfers so much easier. Moving commodes, stand aids and hoists on carpet is hard, doable, but hard. I think the floorboards have taken a bit of a bashing in places, but that can all be sorted one day.
I suppose it is a sacrifice in a way, @notsogooddtr. My life is on hold. I'm mid fifties, it feels like the best years of my life at the moment, but here I am, locked in the house with mum and not able to go anywhere! But so far I have no regrets. It will be three years soon and I think we have a way to go yet, but I am looking forward to resuming my life some time yet. It's just a matter of time ...
Yes, I get it now. Understand what you all say about the hospital bed, two from the care team have just left having transferred mum into it and she looks comfortable. Amazed how high it goes! They have put it next to the wall, but suspect the carers that start next week will want to have easy access to both sides, so will probably put it back with headboard against the wall. Was getting a bit worried when we got to 6pm and no one had turned up and so I was clock watching, thinking that I could not cope another day with mum in her old, lower bed and me having to try and sit her up to eat
Yes Marnie, My house is looking the same, I have piled most of the furniture in dining room and rugs rolled up all over the place. Sitting room has odds and ends over chairs and it is all a mess, but slowly I will get things back in order and decided to get rid of some of the older, unattractive furniture, a good excuse to have a really good sort out.
Yes Marnie, My house is looking the same, I have piled most of the furniture in dining room and rugs rolled up all over the place. Sitting room has odds and ends over chairs and it is all a mess, but slowly I will get things back in order and decided to get rid of some of the older, unattractive furniture, a good excuse to have a really good sort out.
So glad you have the bed, Tin - I am certain it will be a huge help. As you have hard floors, and the bed has wheels, I doubt the carers will need to change the position of the bed - on a hard surface, easy enough to just wheel the bed out from the wall to give care.
On a side note, when I worked in home care, if I went to the house of a person who needed us to use a hoist, and saw carpets, my heart would drop! So hard to manouver a hoist over carpet, just back breaking, as all are designed to operate on hard floors. In one house, they had incredibly expensive looking very deep pile carpet, and all of us carers dreading finding that address on our rota. Eventually, our bosses spoke to the persons daughter, asking could the carpet be replaced (Legally, techincally, carers can refuse to operate hoists if the flooring isn't suitable - in fact, they are supposed to refuse, though few will) and the woman went mad, shouting at the carers and saying that we only had to move the hoist a few feet and it shouldn't be a problem, she didn't want her Mother's house to end up looking like a care home and how could pushing/pulling a hoist just those few feet cause injury?. Trouble was, the majority of houses we went to had carpet in bedrooms, and when you have dealt with pushing a hoist over carpet in 10 or 11 consecutive addresses in the space of perhaps just 4 hours - boy, did you know it!
I really hope all settles down quickly, and you find the care package is helpful, hun xxxx
On a side note, when I worked in home care, if I went to the house of a person who needed us to use a hoist, and saw carpets, my heart would drop! So hard to manouver a hoist over carpet, just back breaking, as all are designed to operate on hard floors. In one house, they had incredibly expensive looking very deep pile carpet, and all of us carers dreading finding that address on our rota. Eventually, our bosses spoke to the persons daughter, asking could the carpet be replaced (Legally, techincally, carers can refuse to operate hoists if the flooring isn't suitable - in fact, they are supposed to refuse, though few will) and the woman went mad, shouting at the carers and saying that we only had to move the hoist a few feet and it shouldn't be a problem, she didn't want her Mother's house to end up looking like a care home and how could pushing/pulling a hoist just those few feet cause injury?. Trouble was, the majority of houses we went to had carpet in bedrooms, and when you have dealt with pushing a hoist over carpet in 10 or 11 consecutive addresses in the space of perhaps just 4 hours - boy, did you know it!
I really hope all settles down quickly, and you find the care package is helpful, hun xxxx
Thanks Ann, I think the bed will have to be repositioned though, the foot end is on a wall as well and at moment I cannot get to the radiator, also the carers will probably moan a bit about not getting to that corner brake easily. Another wall to play with today, we will just have to sacrifice mum's view of the window and garden.
Any tips on this electric bed please, I was told that you cannot tuck things under mattress, but because of mums leg activity I found duvet on the floor a few times through the night. and the bottom sheet was almost up and around her shoulders and she had slipped down to the middle of the bed!
I always used a double fitted sheet on the pressure mattress @Tin and a double duvet over Mum - more chance of some of it staying over her (although Mum hardly moved).
A single sheet is no use as there is no "give" to allow the mattress to alternate and will ping off from the head of the bed when you raise it to a sitting-up position! (Asda do good cheap cotton fitted sheets that will stand many very hot washes).
I tucked the sheet in loosely around the mattress (and had disposable bed pads under her), and tucked the duvet in at her feet to anchor it a little, although I realise you may not be able to with the way your Mum moves her legs around so much.
Eventually the time came for the bed rails to go up permanently and I switched to a single duvet as it then couldn't move around the bed (and floor!), much easier to wrestle with when I was changing and bed-bathing Mum.
Ours wasn't a hospital-type profiling bed though, more of the type you'd see in CHs so the rails weren't as high.
The different heights are wonderful, you may be able to move your Mum around easily with the castors, my Mum was all over the place in the room in her bed and was often returned to her view out of the patio doors once she was all sorted.
A single sheet is no use as there is no "give" to allow the mattress to alternate and will ping off from the head of the bed when you raise it to a sitting-up position! (Asda do good cheap cotton fitted sheets that will stand many very hot washes).
I tucked the sheet in loosely around the mattress (and had disposable bed pads under her), and tucked the duvet in at her feet to anchor it a little, although I realise you may not be able to with the way your Mum moves her legs around so much.
Eventually the time came for the bed rails to go up permanently and I switched to a single duvet as it then couldn't move around the bed (and floor!), much easier to wrestle with when I was changing and bed-bathing Mum.
Ours wasn't a hospital-type profiling bed though, more of the type you'd see in CHs so the rails weren't as high.
The different heights are wonderful, you may be able to move your Mum around easily with the castors, my Mum was all over the place in the room in her bed and was often returned to her view out of the patio doors once she was all sorted.
Oh sorry - raising the knee-break can often help with sliding down, or maybe the OT could suggest some wedges that may help, although that may be too much interference with the mattress?...
There are also permanent slide sheets available that stay on the bed so you can reposition without the rigmarole of rolling your poor Mum! Not sure if they're the ones Marnie mentioned. I was going to get a couple for Mum but in the end we didn't need them.
Try whoever it was that authorised the bed, they may provide you with them.
Good luck, you'll soon be in a routine with it xxx
There are also permanent slide sheets available that stay on the bed so you can reposition without the rigmarole of rolling your poor Mum! Not sure if they're the ones Marnie mentioned. I was going to get a couple for Mum but in the end we didn't need them.
Try whoever it was that authorised the bed, they may provide you with them.
Good luck, you'll soon be in a routine with it xxx
I can relate to all of that - I once tried to transfer mum from an armchair to her wheelchair with the stand aid, and the wheels got wedged in the rug - it was really hard to shift it (I had to as she was between seats) and it was only a matter of a foot or two in distance. I don't think anyone realises the difficulties involved until they themselves experience the situation. I've had many of our carers say how wonderful it is that we have clear floorboards in mum's bedroom!
I think you'll find Tin that moving the bed each time won't be practical, I would suggest finding a good position, so that both sides can be accessed, and then sticking with that. If you yourself have to move around the bed (and you will!), then moving the bed on your own will be hard for you.
Yes, I would recommend Wendylett sheets - the fitted (single) sheet is made to fit the mattress, it has a satin upper surface and the top sheet has a satin layer underneath so that the top sheet can slide on the bottom one. Sometimes they move when you don't want them to, but the beauty of that system is that they stay on the bed (even though some of the DNs frowned at there being more than one layer of material on the mattress - though as I kept telling them, they weren't the ones who had to pull mum up the bed alone - you can use an extra slide sheet to do this but then you have to roll the person a few times to get it under them - then pull it out from under them afterwards - after which time they are usually down in the bed again and you have to start all over again!).
I take it you didn't put the bed sides up? That would contain everything on the bed (including your mum!), but you have to be careful she doesn't get herself caught in the rails. Depends on what type of sides you have. More solid ones might work better for your mum's night time movements. Fortunately my mum doesn't move at night.
I didn't have to ask for these special sheets, they came as part of the equipment package when mum was discharged from hospital. They only gave one set, but I eventually begged a second set from them, and in time bought a third on ebay. If you do go down this route, I recommend the shorter top sheet - I find this easier to handle if I have to roll mum and reposition the sheet as there's less of it in depth. All the top sheets are very wide so that you can slide someone from side to side (to change or wash or reposition) and you don't run out of sheet in the process. They also dry very quickly. I promise I don't work for the company who makes them! I think they are made by a Swedish company. It's a brilliant invention!
Don't buy them, they cost over £200 for a set!
I take it you didn't put the bed sides up? That would contain everything on the bed (including your mum!), but you have to be careful she doesn't get herself caught in the rails. Depends on what type of sides you have. More solid ones might work better for your mum's night time movements. Fortunately my mum doesn't move at night.
I didn't have to ask for these special sheets, they came as part of the equipment package when mum was discharged from hospital. They only gave one set, but I eventually begged a second set from them, and in time bought a third on ebay. If you do go down this route, I recommend the shorter top sheet - I find this easier to handle if I have to roll mum and reposition the sheet as there's less of it in depth. All the top sheets are very wide so that you can slide someone from side to side (to change or wash or reposition) and you don't run out of sheet in the process. They also dry very quickly. I promise I don't work for the company who makes them! I think they are made by a Swedish company. It's a brilliant invention!
Don't buy them, they cost over £200 for a set!
Need to write all that down and talk to physio lady tomorrow, the bed did not come with sides, only high grab rails that seem to get in everyone's way double duvet going on tonight. Already had our first hiccup with hoist, nurse this morning used it for the first time and brought mum into sitting room to her armchair, but for most of morning she was not very responsive. They came back at 3.30 to put mum back in bed, used hoist to place her on commode and then when we all went into bedroom and they placed straps etc around mum, the thing did not work!!! battery fully charged so don't know what went wrong, phone call made and someone coming out to deal with this. Meantime nurses had no choice but to lift mum onto bed. What bugged me about this was that you could see that they were considering if they could leave mum sitting on the commode, they really do not want to do manual lifts.
I may be way off mark - it's a while since I had to use a hoist. But, is there a large red button on the hoist somewhere? If so, are you able to press it, or turn it? I've a dim memory of
one operating a bit like a re-set button.
And, then again, I could be completely wrong.
But thought I'd mention it, just in case.....
one operating a bit like a re-set button.
And, then again, I could be completely wrong.
But thought I'd mention it, just in case.....
