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Nothing in particular but everything in general

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
59
Portsmouth, South Coast
Apropos nothing in particular but everything in general and in no particular order .... just having a feeling sorry for myself moment but need to unload.
I miss the enthusiasm received for meals. I may as well serve cardboard in tomato puree.
I miss the silly times - the laughs and the jokes. Everything is taken so literally. Double entendres and puns are met with blank stares.
I miss the spontaneity of simply deciding to do things just because.
I miss the warm cuddles for no reason other than we appreciated each other's company.
I miss the urgency of getting off our bums and getting things done - everything now takes forever and I end up doing it anyway.
I miss the helping hand with the housework - we always used to split it and get it done pronto.
I miss the friends we could invite to gather at parties when party gatherings were the norm.
I miss setting a fine dinner table with flowers and wine for the special times and celebrations.
I miss going out to places and having FUN ... (remember FUN?).
I miss going out to places even when it wasn't so much fun but it didn't require a military operation to organise.
I miss my best friend / husband / love/ pal / mate / drinking buddy.
I miss being called by my name.
I miss the simple joy of living.
 
Last edited:

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,437
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Apropos nothing in particular but everything in general and in no particular order .... just having a feeling sorry for myself moment but need to unload.
I miss the enthusiasm received for meals. I may as well serve cardboard in tomato puree.
I miss the silly times - the laughs and the jokes. Everything is taken so literally. Double entendres and puns are met with blank stares.
I miss the spontaneity of simply deciding to do things just because.
I miss the warm cuddles for no reason other than we appreciated each other's company.
I miss the urgency of getting off our bums and getting things done - everything now takes forever and I end up doing it anyway.
I miss the helping hand with the housework - we always used to split it and get it done pronto.
I miss the friends we could invite to gather at parties when party gatherings were the norm.
I miss setting a fine dinner table with flowers and wine for the special times and celebrations.
I miss going out to places and having FUN ... (remember FUN?).
I miss going out to places even when it wasn't so much fun but it didn't require a military operation to organise.
I miss my best friend / husband / love/ pal / mate / drinking buddy.
I miss being called by my name.
I miss the simple joy of living.
Oh @AbbyGee I think you have been listing in to my life and I suspect the lives of almost everyone on TP with this list of the missing.especially your final line. Lately the laughs have returned for us and not questioning the why of it but enjoying being silly without recriminations if only for a short time.although double entendres have never been acceptable as good at them as I can be. Thank you your non ranting rant.
 

RosettaT

Registered User
Sep 9, 2018
495
Mid Lincs
Sums it perfectly.
One thing I would like to add, is I miss a nice hot meal eaten at leisure instead of bolted down luke warm.
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
133
Oh, yes, I miss it all too.
Thank goodness we have each other TP friends!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,861
South coast
Yes, I miss it all too.

It the loss of a shared life that is hard.
Its the way you have to do everything yourself, with no acknowledgement or thanks. The way you have to make every decision yourself, with no way to talk it over with them - and then be accused of taking them over. The way that you can sit and cry and there is no flicker of understanding (just a question about when dinner will be) and when you are ill they worry - not about you, but about who will take care of them.

So many losses
 

Scraggy mag

Registered User
Oct 30, 2018
29
Everything you said is me but I feel so guilty because I know he cant help how he is I got really cross with him he hid the toilet roll holder but couldn't remember where he had put it found it eventually in a silly place .it was nothing to get upset about but I did but no response I miss him being a lovely kind caring man . I hate this disease arghhh.......
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,437
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Apropos nothing in particular but everything in general and in no particular order .... just having a feeling sorry for myself moment but need to unload.
I miss the enthusiasm received for meals. I may as well serve cardboard in tomato puree.
I miss the silly times - the laughs and the jokes. Everything is taken so literally. Double entendres and puns are met with blank stares.
I miss the spontaneity of simply deciding to do things just because.
I miss the warm cuddles for no reason other than we appreciated each other's company.
I miss the urgency of getting off our bums and getting things done - everything now takes forever and I end up doing it anyway.
I miss the helping hand with the housework - we always used to split it and get it done pronto.
I miss the friends we could invite to gather at parties when party gatherings were the norm.
I miss setting a fine dinner table with flowers and wine for the special times and celebrations.
I miss going out to places and having FUN ... (remember FUN?).
I miss going out to places even when it wasn't so much fun but it didn't require a military operation to organise.
I miss my best friend / husband / love/ pal / mate / drinking buddy.
I miss being called by my name.
I miss the simple joy of living.
@Abbey g
Apropos nothing in particular but everything in general and in no particular order .... just having a feeling sorry for myself moment but need to unload.
I miss the enthusiasm received for meals. I may as well serve cardboard in tomato puree.
I miss the silly times - the laughs and the jokes. Everything is taken so literally. Double entendres and puns are met with blank stares.
I miss the spontaneity of simply deciding to do things just because.
I miss the warm cuddles for no reason other than we appreciated each other's company.
I miss the urgency of getting off our bums and getting things done - everything now takes forever and I end up doing it anyway.
I miss the helping hand with the housework - we always used to split it and get it done pronto.
I miss the friends we could invite to gather at parties when party gatherings were the norm.
I miss setting a fine dinner table with flowers and wine for the special times and celebrations.
I miss going out to places and having FUN ... (remember FUN?).
I miss going out to places even when it wasn't so much fun but it didn't require a military operation to organise.
I miss my best friend / husband / love/ pal / mate / drinking buddy.
I miss being called by my name.
I miss the simple joy of living.
@AbbeyGee the way your words flow was this written as poem as I have plagiarized lots of it to work as a poem just to pass the time and escape the Midsommer murder again.
 

Mobbin17

New member
May 25, 2020
5
Mum diagnosed with vascular dementia just after lockdown. We are all bumbling along , though there are odd moments. My husband had to shield as his immune system is low following chemo 4 years ago , so have told Mum that she is too , she is 88 . Mum lives with us .
So today : Saturday 4/7
Mum showered at 4.45 am , came downstairs some time before 7.30 .My husband and I went out from 9 to 10 , we returned to find that Mum was out , she left a message, had walked to local shop . First time on her own since 2 weeks before lockdown. Been out once with me . We walked to shop , and spotted her on bus to get home .Bought lots of snacks which she ate through afternoon. Didn’t eat dinner. Later we saw her in the garden, she threw pork chop , potato etc over fence , then said that it was bread for the birds . Knew that it wasn’t. Went to find it , brought it back and told Mum that it was unhygienic, could encourage rats . She shrugged. I always leave a small plastic bag on the work top for any scraps any of us might have left and it goes into food bin , I don’t moan if food is left over . She was obviously trying to hide it , but would have walked past the food bin to walk through to the garden . I try to give Mum a varied diet . What would any of you folk do ? I am thinking that I’ll ask what food she wants me to cook and I’ll stick to that for her .
 

Mobbin17

New member
May 25, 2020
5
Mum diagnosed with vascular dementia just after lockdown. We are all bumbling along , though there are odd moments. My husband had to shield as his immune system is low following chemo 4 years ago , so have told Mum that she is too , she is 88 . Mum lives with us .
So today : Saturday 4/7
Mum showered at 4.45 am , came downstairs some time before 7.30 .My husband and I went out from 9 to 10 , we returned to find that Mum was out , she left a message, had walked to local shop . First time on her own since 2 weeks before lockdown. Been out once with me . We walked to shop , and spotted her on bus to get home .Bought lots of snacks which she ate through afternoon. Didn’t eat dinner. Later we saw her in the garden, she threw pork chop , potato etc over fence , then said that it was bread for the birds . Knew that it wasn’t. Went to find it , brought it back and told Mum that it was unhygienic, could encourage rats . She shrugged. I always leave a small plastic bag on the work top for any scraps any of us might have left and it goes into food bin , I don’t moan if food is left over . She was obviously trying to hide it , but would have walked past the food bin to walk through to the garden . I try to give Mum a varied diet . What would any of you folk do ? I am thinking that I’ll ask what food she wants me to cook and I’ll stick to that for her .
Sorry, did not read partner/spouse , just apropos....,
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,604
cornwall
Mum diagnosed with vascular dementia just after lockdown. We are all bumbling along , though there are odd moments. My husband had to shield as his immune system is low following chemo 4 years ago , so have told Mum that she is too , she is 88 . Mum lives with us .
So today : Saturday 4/7
Mum showered at 4.45 am , came downstairs some time before 7.30 .My husband and I went out from 9 to 10 , we returned to find that Mum was out , she left a message, had walked to local shop . First time on her own since 2 weeks before lockdown. Been out once with me . We walked to shop , and spotted her on bus to get home .Bought lots of snacks which she ate through afternoon. Didn’t eat dinner. Later we saw her in the garden, she threw pork chop , potato etc over fence , then said that it was bread for the birds . Knew that it wasn’t. Went to find it , brought it back and told Mum that it was unhygienic, could encourage rats . She shrugged. I always leave a small plastic bag on the work top for any scraps any of us might have left and it goes into food bin , I don’t moan if food is left over . She was obviously trying to hide it , but would have walked past the food bin to walk through to the garden . I try to give Mum a varied diet . What would any of you folk do ? I am thinking that I’ll ask what food she wants me to cook and I’ll stick to that for her .
Hi. My dad has VD and cannot make a decision so I end up deciding for him.
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
59
Portsmouth, South Coast
@Abbey g

@AbbeyGee the way your words flow was this written as poem as I have plagiarized lots of it to work as a poem just to pass the time and escape the Midsommer murder again.
No, Agzy - not a poem. just a flowing out of the thoughts that ran through my brain in the moments it took to hit the keyboard. Plagiarise away, dearheart. I have no ownership of the individual words. Would love to see your finished work.
I do find letting my brain seep out through my fingertips quite cathartic and may try to get back to my love of the written word.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,437
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
No, Agzy - not a poem. just a flowing out of the thoughts that ran through my brain in the moments it took to hit the keyboard. Plagiarise away, dearheart. I have no ownership of the individual words. Would love to see your finished work.
I do find letting my brain seep out through my fingertips quite cathartic and may try to get back to my love of the written word.
First draft as it were, please let me what you would change etc.

Apropos nothing in particular but everything in general
and in no particular order,
I just have to unload myself as this caring role
is now on depressions border.
I miss the enthusiasm we had for meals,
now could serve cardboard in tomato puree,
I miss the times when mistakes when made,
giving smiles, gaiety, not irrational fury.

I miss the silly times – the laughs, the jokes
the spontaneity of acting without thought,
Everything now taken literally,
double entendres meet blank looks and explanations sought.
I miss the urgency of getting then just doing things
as everything now takes forever,
Most done by myself with my own armchair critic,
with no comprehension of anything clever.

I miss the helping hand with the housework –
we always used to split it and get it done fast,
I miss the friends who would invite to us to parties,
now such gatherings are all in the past.
I miss setting a dinner table with flowers and wine,
for those oh so those special occasions,
I miss going out to different places and having FUN
– remember fun?Those unplanned celebrations.

I miss my best friend / partner / love/ pal / mate / drinking buddy
all the things you were,
I miss the simple joy of living, being called by my name
and not just ‘the one doing the care.’
I miss them all, our yesterday’s -
and all our tomorrows too,
Dementia has taken everything that was us,
leaving just me - and you.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,604
cornwall
First draft as it were, please let me what you would change etc.

Apropos nothing in particular but everything in general
and in no particular order,
I just have to unload myself as this caring role
is now on depressions border.
I miss the enthusiasm we had for meals,
now could serve cardboard in tomato puree,
I miss the times when mistakes when made,
giving smiles, gaiety, not irrational fury.

I miss the silly times – the laughs, the jokes
the spontaneity of acting without thought,
Everything now taken literally,
double entendres meet blank looks and explanations sought.
I miss the urgency of getting then just doing things
as everything now takes forever,
Most done by myself with my own armchair critic,
with no comprehension of anything clever.

I miss the helping hand with the housework –
we always used to split it and get it done fast,
I miss the friends who would invite to us to parties,
now such gatherings are all in the past.
I miss setting a dinner table with flowers and wine,
for those oh so those special occasions,
I miss going out to different places and having FUN
– remember fun?Those unplanned celebrations.

I miss my best friend / partner / love/ pal / mate / drinking buddy
all the things you were,
I miss the simple joy of living, being called by my name
and not just ‘the one doing the care.’
I miss them all, our yesterday’s -
and all our tomorrows too,
Dementia has taken everything that was us,
leaving just me - and you.
That’s lovely 😀
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
343
not quite my life yet but i miss the spontaniety of things, stupid things like if he hears me emptying the bin he would jump up and do it for me. or even choosing something to watch on the tv or what we are having for dinner - hes the cook in our house or to be there with big cuddles when i cry. i miss that most. he does do cuddles but the connection is slowly going. not so poetic or fluid as abbeygee