• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

Nothing in particular but everything in general

Janey B

Registered User
Aug 15, 2019
39
Northwest
AbbyGee

Oh how I miss the joy of living.

Him - He can’t help it !!!
Me - But neither can I
Him - Indifference, apathy
Me - Sad, angry, resentful.
Him- No insight
Me - No future
Him - No appreciation or support
Me - Have to do absolutely “everything”
Him - Take Take Take
Me - Give Give Give
Him- Content in his own world
Me - Trying so hard to cope with all of this.

Sorry feeling rather self centred at the moment me me me me!!!

I Do know he can’t help it but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The loss of a shared life is very hard to bear. We have had a good life together (49 years ) and I don’t want it to end. I am resisting but know it’s inevitable.
One day at a time - is not enough for me
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
78
Portsmouth, South Coast
For some reason I feel so much 'lighter' today. The unloading did me good - thanks to all for being here. I shouldn't leave it so long. It's easier to share under the anonymity of a user name.
I've started to dig back through some ancient words I put together when I was in a deep dark place (nothing to do with Alz or my PWD) and they made me realise that perhaps things aren't so bad right now.
1) The garden's a mess - but we have a garden.
2) The house looks like a bomb's hit it - but our home is warm, safe and secure.
3) We have only a few friends - but our friends are good solid supportive ones who haven't disappeared at the first signs of Alz coming to live here.
4) Everything takes longer to do - but we're still capable of muddling through in our own way and only have to please ourselves.
Now, in1 to 4 above, by removing the first few words - up to and including 'but' life's pretty sunny, eh?
1) we have a garden.
2) our home is warm, safe and secure.
3) our friends are good solid supportive ones who haven't disappeared at the first signs of Alz coming to live here.
4) we're still capable of muddling through in our own way and only have to please ourselves.
<<<Doing a little happy dance>>>
 
Last edited:

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,729
cornwall
For some reason I feel so much 'lighter' today. The unloading did me good - thanks to all for being here. I shouldn't leave it so long. It's easier to share under the anonymity of a user name.
I've started to dig back through some ancient words I put together when I was in a deep dark place (nothing to do with Alz or my PWD) and they made me realise that perhaps things aren't so bad right now.
1) The garden's a mess - but we have a garden.
2) The house looks like a bomb's hit it - but our home is warm, safe and secure.
3) We have only a few friends - but our friends are good solid supportive ones who haven't disappeared at the first signs of Alz coming to live here.
4) Everything takes longer to do - but we're still capable of muddling through in our own way and only have to please ourselves.
Now, in1 to 4 above, by removing the first few words - up to and including 'but' life's pretty sunny, eh?
1) we have a garden.
2) our home is warm, safe and secure.
3) our friends are good solid supportive ones who haven't disappeared at the first signs of Alz coming to live here.
4) we're still capable of muddling through in our own way and only have to please ourselves.
<<<Doing a little happy dance>>>
😀
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,523
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
For some reason I feel so much 'lighter' today. The unloading did me good - thanks to all for being here. I shouldn't leave it so long. It's easier to share under the anonymity of a user name.
I've started to dig back through some ancient words I put together when I was in a deep dark place (nothing to do with Alz or my PWD) and they made me realise that perhaps things aren't so bad right now.
1) The garden's a mess - but we have a garden.
2) The house looks like a bomb's hit it - but our home is warm, safe and secure.
3) We have only a few friends - but our friends are good solid supportive ones who haven't disappeared at the first signs of Alz coming to live here.
4) Everything takes longer to do - but we're still capable of muddling through in our own way and only have to please ourselves.
Now, in1 to 4 above, by removing the first few words - up to and including 'but' life's pretty sunny, eh?
1) we have a garden.
2) our home is warm, safe and secure.
3) our friends are good solid supportive ones who haven't disappeared at the first signs of Alz coming to live here.
4) we're still capable of muddling through in our own way and only have to please ourselves.
<<<Doing a little happy dance>>>
Brilliantly put 😀
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
692
its acceptance about where i am now and cherishing every moment i have with my husband. hes not fighting it but going with it. we have so much compared with other people.
 

Di G

New member
Jul 5, 2020
2
Hello AbbyGee I have just joined this group and yours is the first post I have read. My husband also has Alzheimer’s. You speak my thoughts exactly. The loss I feel is overwhelming and I find the tears are not far away. This is a terrible illness, it not only robs you of your loved one, it robs you of your life. I know there is no real answer but to just make the most of a bad situation My respect goes out to everyone who is going through the same.
 

henhut

Registered User
Oct 9, 2017
35
Apropos nothing in particular but everything in general and in no particular order .... just having a feeling sorry for myself moment but need to unload.
I miss the enthusiasm received for meals. I may as well serve cardboard in tomato puree.
I miss the silly times - the laughs and the jokes. Everything is taken so literally. Double entendres and puns are met with blank stares.
I miss the spontaneity of simply deciding to do things just because.
I miss the warm cuddles for no reason other than we appreciated each other's company.
I miss the urgency of getting off our bums and getting things done - everything now takes forever and I end up doing it anyway.
I miss the helping hand with the housework - we always used to split it and get it done pronto.
I miss the friends we could invite to gather at parties when party gatherings were the norm.
I miss setting a fine dinner table with flowers and wine for the special times and celebrations.
I miss going out to places and having FUN ... (remember FUN?).
I miss going out to places even when it wasn't so much fun but it didn't require a military operation to organise.
I miss my best friend / husband / love/ pal / mate / drinking buddy.
I miss being called by my name.
I miss the simple joy of living.
Fun and Joy think once upon. a time I knew what it was these days.........
A fairytale.
You have my understanding.
Take Care
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
78
Portsmouth, South Coast
Hello AbbyGee I have just joined this group
Hello and welcome Di G. I've not been a member here long but have found much useful information and ideas along with sad and joyous stories. Just reading the posts has given me far more education about this ****** disease than a library full of 'helpful' leaflets ever could. It's *real people and experiences* here - not some sanitised pretty pretty website offering nothing more than fairy la-la platitudes.
My hugs and love to you all - my care sharers and sanity savers. :)
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,830
leicester
Hello @Di G and a warm welcome to DTP
I hope the forum will help you understand more about Alzheimer’s and that now you have found the forum you will continue to post