Not eating or drinking

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by elaineo2, Sep 8, 2007.

  1. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,425
    Oh good grief Elaine: what more evidence do they need? Surely the no urine ouput means the kidneys are shutting down? I really feel for this poor woman, and for you for having to handle it.

    Love
     
  2. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Thanks Jennifer.the most distressing part of all this is that the family think the home are lying about thier parents condition.As we speak i am compiling a list of problems for the CPN to take into consideration tomorrow.The daughter insisits that she will be present at the CPN assessment of their parent.She won't accept that there will be a one 2 one meeting between CPN and the resident.whereby i have no input and the family have no input.Battle ahead tomorrow i am afraid.love elainex
     
  3. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    What is the GP thinking of, this poor soul must be in so much pain, could the home not request that the District Nurse call in and drain off the urine with a catheter, at least as a temporary measure. This person probably doesnt want to eat or drink because they feel so uncomfortable, but munching on tissue must be a clue!!
     
  4. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi Cate,as i said i called the continence advisor in for an emergency bladder sacan,The residual urine was not at a level where catheterisation was needed.The G.P has been informed and the CPN due tomorrow.AS the continence advisor said to me "if there is nothing going in,little will come out".We need the CPN to understand the eating and drinking problem and hopefully get thid resident the care they need.love elainex
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Elaine, you are a wonderful carer, to look after your resident so well, even though your NH is not strictly qualified for it. You have given so much, and the family should be grateful, not be causing problems for you.

    I only hope John is as lucky.

    Love,
     
  6. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Dear Skye,I hope that John and yourself are well.Its a B**** when we are met by resistance from families who are well aware of the circumstances surrounding their parent,mother ,father,uncle.etc.i am proud of my job and my role in the home,yet feel that whatever we do is looked upon with disdain from this family.I am admitting tonight that tomorrow will be a trial with the family with the CPN visit.But theres one thing i know,equality diversity and rights will be portrayed for both the resident and staff.I will fight my corner for the residents rights for the appropriate care for their condition."wish me luck as you wave me goodbye,may be a tune i am singing tomorrow!this ones a bet i wouldn't like to hedge.love elainex
     
  7. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Elaine

    Good luck for tomorrow, hope you get the care for your patient that you want.

    This thread has made me think, about my parents, when the manager of the care home suggested the dementia unit and I asked them to persevere until Mum's new meds kicked in, was I right? Or was my head in the sand.

    Somehow, the suggestion of my parents in the dementia unit freaked me. Why I don't know. I thought that in the care home they could jog along nicely for another few years. Head in the sand right enough:(

    Although things have been calmer, as you will read in my other posts, Mum isn't right with meds. Maybe I should have wrenched my head out of the sand.

    The real object of this reply, other than my problems, is to say maybe the family is like I am. Head in the sand, wishful thinking ???

    Sorry if this post is no use whatsoever

    Alfjess
     
  8. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi alfjess,Your post is most welcome.I can only suggest that if you fee the way you obviously do,don't bury your head in the sand,you want the best care available for mum.Fight your corner with the S/W and don't be afraid of admitting A/Z?dementia care is needed.Theres no stigma attached to it anymore,Want the best and get the best.Please ket us know how you get on.love elainex
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi alfjess

    I know what you mean about freaking out. When I visited the best NH in our area about six months ago when I was first thinking about respite, I wrote it off immediately because they said John would have to go into the EMI unit. My hackles rose immediately. John was certainly not ready for that at that stage.

    Now? If he has to go to a home, that's the one I'd choose. The EMI unit is in fact lovely, all on the ground floor, with its own enclosed garden with seats, a kitchen where residents can cook or launder if they want to, and nice bright rooms.

    What I'm saying is, you know your parents, you know best what would be suitable for them, and the situation changes very quickly.

    Have a look round the unit, try to envisage your parents there, and go with your gut feeling. You'll know if or when it's appropriate to move them.

    Love,
     
  10. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi everyone,just to let you know,the CPN visited and spoke to the redident.I felt for their daughter as when asked ny the CPN who she wa they said they didn't know.The MMSE has proven that the resident has severe dementia.The CPN was going back to her office to meet with the consultant and is getting back to me tomorrow.I expressed that we are unable to meet the residents needs and that we are concerned about their well being,seing we are unable to provide the necessary care.After all the backlash from the family,the daughter actually agreed thier parent is unwell.Thank heavens for small mercies.love elainex
     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Well done Elaine. You've been proved right, and the family are beginning to accept it. That can only be good for your resident.

    Love,
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,927
    Kent
    Well done Elaine.
    Such a pity the family weren`t prepared to take your word. It could have saved so much agonizing.
    Love xx
     
  13. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Thanks everyone.The CPN hasn't been in touch today,i will take this as a good sign.(positive thinker thats me).I say i will take it as a good sign because i feel it is a clear case of dementia,but is it more indepth than we think?if that makes any sense!The resident was fine this A.M.I managed to get them to eat some cereal and they were on their 2nd cup of tea when the daughter turned up.I thought they must have come in to assist feeding.Guess what?the resident had a hospital appointment.News to us!As i posted previously we have found out about the leukemia the resident has.The daughter would not divulge any information when asked what the appointment was for so I could record it in the care plan.I am at a loss with this one.love elainex
     
  14. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Elaine

    Certainly seems weird that the Daughter doesn't keep the care home informed, even when there is a hospital appointment.
    Why are they frightened, or maybe like me head in the sand? Although I do communicate with staff, if truth be told probaby too much. I'm sure sometimes they could see me far enough

    How the heck are you supposed to look after her if you don't know the full facts and history?

    I know there is no stigma attached to dementia and in my case it was just a shock that Mum and Dad had deteriorated so fast and I didn't want them upset again when Mum hadn't even settled to the care home.

    But in your patient's circumstances, why are the family so secretive?

    Good luck in your caring
    Alfjess

    I can't understand it. Maybe they are in the dark ages when this sort of thing wasn't soken about or discussed
     
  15. nemesisis

    nemesisis Registered User

    May 25, 2006
    100
    bless you elaine

    not been on for a while due to mums last fall (broken hip this time) three weeks visiting twice a day plus work had no time to view but she has now been transfered to a community hospital for rehabilitation and i now visit every other night. While she has been there i have seen for the first time a relative behaving oddly. Whenever in the past mum has been in hospital relatives have been supportive and careing but this lady's daughter does everything she is told not to. She tries to get her mum up, she has been told not to give her liquid without a nurse present as they are worried she is not swallowing and in that case it will go into her lungs and cause problems and yesterday she drew the curtains round her mum so i rang the bell and the nurse came and found her with her mum dressed and out of bed (god knows where she thought she was going) i have previously spoke to the daughter and unfortunatly she has no family and no job and lives with her mother and she thinks she will loose her home to pay for her mums care. shame on the nhs for putting people under this pressure. We have now decided that after three falls (two broken arms and one hip) mum is not safe at home so are looking at residential care and bless hope we find one with people like you xx
     
  16. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi all.In my eyes it's bad news.The CPN rang today to confirm that the resident has "SEVERE DEMENTIA".No treatment will be given and the case is closed.However,the CPN said the resident is still"residential".How on earth does that one work? DEmentia in a residential setting?There is still no eating and drinking with the resident and persistent vomiting.The daughter is very self satisfied that their parent has been classed as residential and is putting a complaint in to head office over our handling of the case.Bring it on.is my view.The only other card we had to play was asking the G.P to admit the resident to hospital,not eating,drinking,vomiting,not passing urine or faeces.The result being the G.P has visited and has asked for a consultant to visit for admission to hospital.The family are not happy.It may sound cruel but this is the only way we can get the resident into the care setting needed.If they are admitted for 2 days or more then re-assessment is needed,wherby we can say they have diagnosed dementia and we are not registered for dementia.How cruel do we have to be to be kind?love elainex
     
  17. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Elaine. I agree, it does sound as if your resident needs medical care. But I'm not sure if hospitalisation will achieve what you want. You might find they'll be returned to you, as only needing residential care.

    It could be that it's not the same for you as it is up here, but here the only way to get funding for nursing/EMI is if the patient is aggressive. As I've already posted, the only room available in the NH I want for John is an EMI one, and the only way we'll get it is if his aggression continues. He's not aggressive most of the time, only if anyone tries to do anything to him, but that might be enough. If not, I don't know what happens. There's a waiting list of 10 for residential rooms.
     
  18. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,425
    The problem is, Elaine, that according to what I have read, if the dementia is seondary to the general care needs, and doesn't require specialist (i.e. nursing) care there is no requirement that the patient should be in a care home licensed to provide demntia care.

    "However, where a degree of dementia already exists (or develops whilst they are resident in a care home) and this does not constitute the main reason for care or involve providers meeting specialist needs, then the resident need not be in a specially registered bed. " From Hospital discharge of older people with cognitive impairment to care homes http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/docs/hospdischarge.doc

    The question of course is what constitute special needs.
     
  19. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi everyone,The resident was vomiting for over an hour last night.The night staff called the paramedics who took the resident to the hospital.The daughter was not happy with the home and was very rude to staff.The hospital rang the home in the early hours of this morning to say the resident is very poorly and is bleeding from their intestine.We can't do right for doing wong with the family.love elainex
     
  20. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #80 Margarita, Sep 22, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2007
    My mother dose not require nursing care I am told by my social worker , even thought she has dietetic with medication she can not go in to a nursing home formerly know as a EMI .

    also can not put mum in to a residential home that is not licensed to provide dementia care , may be its new regulation that have come out and has not been implemented with all LA just yet .
     

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