Not eating or drinking

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by elaineo2, Sep 8, 2007.

  1. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Elaine,
    I was wondering if this resident in question lived alone prior to residential care. If so, my thought is maybe they only had breakfast as many elderly living alone eat like sparrows. I know before I moved mum and dad nearer to me she only ate a bowl of albran sprinkled with muesli for breakfast and a cup of yogurt at night, it became a learnt habit and one that was very hard to change. Love your caring ways. Taffy.
     
  2. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    [

    Well I certainly second that!!
     
  3. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Hi elaine

    I think that you should maybe pick up the phone if you can to the CPN and explain the urgency of the problem. At the same time leave out small plates of food next to the resident when they are just sitting. Check with their family what there favourite foods are, eg if they like crisps, cakes, sweets etc. Sometimes I have found with Mum that when her appetite goes enticing her with the treats sometimes "reminds" her how to chew and swallow and makes it easier. Also if you can check for throat infection and teeth rpoblems, decay or badly fitting false teeth. All of these may cause a problem.

    The Mental health Acts can cause problems. I have seen mum too weak to drink but thirsty and have been able to request a syringe to syringe fluid into her but staff are not allowed due to the "forcing" scenario. I work on the basis that as I hold a welfare power of attorney I can give my mother fluid when she needs it, if she appears to want it..which she did. I managed to convince the staff to continue based on this argument and told them to refer the CC to me. Same if there was a problem with pills etc. which we put in yoghurt etc. having checked if there would be problems with crushing etc with the pharmacist.

    The staff can be bound by red tape. I sometimes wonder where the sense in these things are, after all when you lose the rational sense you become like a child and restraints (lkike buzzer mats) and hiding pills becomes necessary, particularly if a person shows all the signs of wanting to continue living.

    Mameeskye
     
  4. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi all,thanks for your posts,they are most welcome.I mentioned on a previous post that the resdients family completed a necessary document for the home and said their parents medical history included dementia,which the home knew nothing about.The daughter always takes their parent to G.P appts at her insistance.Today the residents G.P called the resident in for an emergency appointment.The daughter is on holiday so I took the resident to the G.P.Only to find out that they have been being treated for leukemia for the last 4 years!Some of the medication they take can be used for rheumatoid arthritis(which is what we were led to believe they had) and forms of cancer.Suffice it to say there are questions we need to ask of the daughter.How can we provide the necessary care withou the truth?love elainex
     
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,424
    Of for goodness sake Elaine, these people have been really secretive haven't they?
     
  6. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi jennifer,to be honest I think this is why they don't want their parent moving to another home.They didn't reveal any of this to us and were obviously keeping it to themselves to keep their parent in a home that is convenient for them to access.Meanwhile the parent is not getting the care they deserve.The bombshell today has brought my manager to their feet.The daughter is trying to say that we just don't want their parent in the home because they are to much trouble for staff.I beg to differ,and can only reiterate what i have said on previous posts.They have needs that a residential home cannot meet.Battle has commenced once again.Roll on Saturday when the daughter is back.I have been in tears tonight,I do know that what we at the home do is in the interests of residents.Tonight i feel like I am a monster,having to confront a family member and deal the facts.its not like me but today has taken its toll.love elainex
     
  7. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Elaine
    I am a bit confused.

    If the family completed a necessary form and said their parents had dementia, how then is it their fault?

    Surely the home should have read the forms/ notes etc. and if it wasn't registered for dementia patients, then the home shouldn't have accepted them as residents.

    I am also a bit confused whether, we are talking about 1 resident or a couple

    Whatever, you are doing great. Just keep caring like you do.

    Alfjess
     
  8. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi alfjess,i am sorry to confuse you.This documenmt has only been introuduced into care plans in the last month.Head office decided it would be benificial to have a"my life profile" document,whereby the resident or family fill out the details,eg previous home,jobs,date of marriage,children.actually its an indepth documrnt which they are not obliged to complete.It is only now they have completed the document that the facts have come to light.love elainex
     
  9. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Hmm, Elaine. I am going to try to be funny here, but have never been good at being funny. Alzheimers, well that is no difficulty is it? It just means the person is a bit forgetful, so what's your problem? Leukaemia, doesn't that just mean their blood is a bit weak, so what's your problem there?

    Eh? These are two serious and major illnesses requiring specialist care and if my mum had them, I'd want her properly cared for. Okay, Alzheimers can be variable, my mum's is quite unproblematic except at night when she gets ready for breakfast at 3 a.m. Not specialist care needed as such, but certainly night staff to check on her, but you only need to read a few threads on this site to know how really difficult some sufferers can be - and therefore what specialist care they need to help them.

    Leukaemia, I know nothing about, except my aunt died of it 58 years ago. I suppose it depends whether it is in remission or not - after all it is cancer.

    Not criticising you Elaine, but I understood that all residents into care homes were required to be assessed as to whether the home could meet their needs. Despite the relatives' secretiveness re the Alzheimers, did the care home assessment find they could meet her needs? I ask cos my mum has been in her home for 5 weeks now, and I was told she would have an assessment made within four weeks, and I would be invited to contribute, but I haven't been. Nor have I been asked to pay the fees yet!!!

    Gee, Elaine, get a bit more experience, your NVQ4 out of the way, and run your own home. I'm sure you could do it. I'm told they don't make a lot of money, but I'm sure it will be more than your current meagre wages for the stirling job you seem to be doing.

    Keep caring.

    Love

    Margaret
     
  10. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    dear margaret,yes we could meet their needs on assessment,but the whole story wasn't told.That is my point.Hos[ital lied on discharge form,no mention of any leukemia or dementia,we can only assess on what we are told,and by the sound of it the family(who now deny any dementia,even though they admitted it on a care plan documnent) are in a state of panic that we know all.The family aren,t aware yet that the leukemia has come to light.it makes it more obvious there is something to hide as the daughter insisted she took their parent to appointments,love elainex
     
  11. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Elaine,

    My mother often said to us as children: "What a tangled web we weave, when we practise to deceive!"

    And gosh, what a "tangled web" you have inherited because the family and the hospital were less than honest.

    I want to say that your caring nature, your adherence to your ethics and your professionalism are all extremely comforting to those of us with loved ones in care homes.

    I know that many (if not all) the staff in Mum's home are very caring, and I can only hope they have the same dedication to their profession as you do.

    You are a shining star in the firmament of elder care!! :)

    It never fails to annoy me that the very people who take on the hardest jobs in our society (caring for the elderly, especially those with dementia; working with people with disabilities; caring for children with behaviour problems) are all "expected" to do so out of a "love" of the job!! :eek: This is taken to mean they will work for peanuts and will not expect recompense for extra duties, overtime or emergencies. Double :eek: !!

    Naturally only those people with an interest and concern for others take on such work, but this does not mean they should be expected to work double shifts without due recompense or to "love" the nastier aspects of the job. One wonders if accountants, business advisers or lawyers are expected to "love" their jobs so much they willingly put in extra hours and time simply because they "love" their work!! As far as I know, they bill by the hour!!

    It is truly time our society recognised that these jobs are incredibly difficult, and workers need to be supported and their true value recognised in their pay packets.

    I suspect most of the carers on TP who care for their own loved ones would be the first to support this. They know first hand just how hard it is.

    May you continue to care in the way you do. Your patients and clients are very lucky to have you!!
     
  12. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Thanks Nell. i quite agree with what you say.Are those at "head Office" actually concerned about residents or staff? I don't think so on either part,i do know that if a complaint is forwarded to them they are like vultures.I say.let them do a shift at a home and then tell me they are happy with the way things work.Being under pressure,stressed,and not having the time to actually sit and talk with residents and their families.All because the ratio of staff to residents doesn,t work when dependency levels are high.its a crime that residents pay for a service(dearly) that doesn't always deliver.I and other carers in the home i work are fully committed to the role,but feel cheated that we haven't the time to enjoy the job.love elainex
     
  13. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Elaine

    Don't apoligise for confusing me, these days it doesn't take much.

    Sorry to have misunderstood the situation.

    Hope you can persuade the family and get the best care possible for your resident.

    Alfjess
     
  14. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Just a quick update

    Hi everyone,just thought i would give you all a quick update.The situation with the resident is getting worse.Today staff have had to use the hoist to transfer the resident.There is no physical reason for this it is that the resident cannot understand instruction on how to stand and mobilise.Also at teatime i gave them their medication and they spat it at me. I must say i am not happy giving someone medication that are not eating but the G.P says its fine to do so.I spoke to the family about both issues.Thay said their parent is just being "lazy" when it comes to mobilising,and that "spitting their meds" at me was perhaps a joke!No matter what we say we are met with denial.I don't ever feel the need to blow my stack,but tonight i have come home so aggravated.love elainex
     
  15. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,424
    Well you can blow your stack here Elaine, and who can blame you. It's one thing to know this poor lady has no idea what she is doing but the family are something else entirely.

    I'm not sure what world they are living in, but it doesn't seem to be this one.

    Love
     
  16. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Thanks jennifer,i have calmed down now.The kids are used to me coming home and chunnering to myself about the day i have had.They just say "Bad day at the office mother?".then i smile.then i frown,will my kids deny me the appropriate care if it is ever needed?(at the rate i am going i am sure i will need it:)
     
  17. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Elaine

    Do you know why the family are in denial?

    Is it because a dementia unit is more expensive? Or are am I being to cynical?

    Is it just ignorance of dementia? Do they need more education? If so how do you educate them?

    Sorry this post is all questions and you do not have the answers.

    SS, do have the answers and your resident should be in a place which can provide the needed care.

    I understand that as a care worker you cannot do a lot, except care, but your manager should flag it to SS that your home is not the best place for the resident.

    The manager, in my parents care home said, they may be better of in the dementia unit.

    Although I am not in denial, I didn't want anymore changes for them in such a short space of time, so I asked the residential care home to persevere until Mum's new meds kicked in.

    The first week we and the care staff thought Mum's meds were working, but suddenly things have gone pear shaped. Mum isn't right. We don't know if she is over medicated, or has a UTI, or whatever.

    We are waiting for results from urine test, bloods etc.

    Maybe my parents would be better in the dementia unit, but it just seems like another nail in the coffin to me, maybe I am in denial to a certain extent

    Alfjess
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,898
    Kent
    Elaine, Could the family of your resident think there is a stigma attached to dementia ?
     
  19. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi alfjess,In the review we had 4 weeks ago with the daughter present she made a comment that they didn't want their parent moving as our home was convenient to visit.EMI units tend to be on the other side of town.The S/W says the resident is borderline EMI,but as i said before the resident is becoming worse and staff are at a loss as to how much more we can do.I cannot say the family don't want the best care for their parent,they just want it at our home and cannot seem to grasp the fact that we are unable to provide it.The CSCI inspector has been in for the last 2 days and is aware of our difficulties with the resident.I just hope it doesn't take the "powers that be"(csci) to have to intervene.love elainex
     
  20. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    The problem is getting worse

    Hi everyone,just an update on the thread,the resident has today taken to chewing paper napkins.Their urine output has been zero for 2 days.I conatcted the continence advisor for an emergency visit.In the meanwhile the residents daughter visited and was told of the "napkins diet",the urinary retention and again the not eating.I had left a message for the G.P to ring me at this time.The daughter just gave me a look which reiterated my thoughts.She thinks were making it up.Why I don't know.The CPN is due at 11am tomorrow and i am going to recomend that the resident is taken into the mental health assessment unit for their benefit,not the homes or the relatives.This resident needs help that we cannot provide.love elainex
     

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