Oh yes - we know, don't we Truth? The feeling that they are so well, that maybe, surely, we could manage again if we took them home? But we know - oh, yes we do, deep in our hearts & souls, we know - that the only reason they are doing so well is because they are now getting the level of constant, 24/7 care that we, on our own, could not hope to give them. My husband went to full time care last September after a long, very hard time that I thought was going to kill us both. Had he remained at home, I doubt he would have lived until Christmas as he was refusing to eat or drink enough and refusing to allow personal care. (and by "refusing" I mean very aggressively refusing!). However, after a few weeks in full time care, when he was eating, drinking and taking his medication regularly, he was so much better, I really started to think that maybe, just maybe, I could manage him at home again. Had to have a few stern talks with myself - and read back over my posts on here, and get reminders from people on here, of what it was really like! And by now of course, the illness has progressed again, and he has deteriorated to where he needs a lot more care again. And now the nursing home staff are at their wits' end trying to get him to eat and drink!
I think there are a few people with dementia who can be taken care of at home until their death. But to be honest, they are the exceptions. Because the support available to the carer is simply too little, and usually far too late.