No one knows

[Thethirdmrsc]

A

@Thethirdmrsc so sorry you’ve had such a very stressful few days. Definitely not a good birthday. I hope the hospital can sort out suitable medication to calm him. Could he have an infection which has made home much worse recently? Ending you a virtual hug.

Aw thank you for the hug! Both my daughters are out today so roll on 6pm when I get a real one. He could have an infection, and he is now settled in the unit and the first day they do all the bloods and urine, then look at his meds, so hopefully it won’t be too long and we can get him a place in a good home.

 

[Gary f]

I am so sorry that you are going through this Gary. Have a look through all the threads here though as there is great information. I hope you have access to some respite for you and your wife.

Fingers crossed , thank you

 

[Bettysue]

A

Aw thank you for the hug! Both my daughters are out today so roll on 6pm when I get a real one. He could have an infection, and he is now settled in the unit and the first day they do all the bloods and urine, then look at his meds, so hopefully it won’t be too long and we can get him a place in a good home.

Sorry it’s come to this for you and your husband but hopefully he will be treated and can move on to a suitable care placement.
Enjoy the rest of your birthday!

 

[Sarasa]

Sorry this is such a rubbish birthday, I hope you can celebrate properly when you've got your husband settled in a good care home. I'm glad you've managed to come to an understanding with his sons. I guess if they haven't seen him for a while the fact he's in a secure unit must have been a big shock.
Look after you {{{ @Thethirdmrsc }}}

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Sorry this is such a rubbish birthday, I hope you can celebrate properly when you've got your husband settled in a good care home. I'm glad you've managed to come to an understanding with his sons. I guess if they haven't seen him for a while the fact he's in a secure unit must have been a big shock.
Look after you {{{ @Thethirdmrsc }}}

Thank you, yes I had a good chat again tonight with his youngest son, acknowledgment all round, but I’m pleased he realises the next step is to a care home.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Sorry it’s come to this for you and your husband but hopefully he will be treated and can move on to a suitable care placement.
Enjoy the rest of your birthday!

Thank you!

 

[Banjomansmate]

Because I didn’t live with The Banjoman but had LPA (with them) I always kept his family up to date by email with everything that was going on but even then it seemed some of them just couldn’t understand how bad he was. When they came to visit one of his daughters thought her Dad was “So funny” when he was struggling to put a pair of shoes on the right feet and the other said “Dad is always trying to make us laugh” when he was hallucinating in hospital and said he was watching the penguins.
Hopefully the hospital Drs. can fix your husband’s medication, you can find a suitable residential placement for him and his family will now have more understanding of what you have been going through.

 

[Violet Jane]

I think that it’s quite common for relatives who see the PWD very infrequently to be in a state of denial about his/her illness. I support an elderly friend with dementia and her closest relative (she has no close family at all) has not seen her for nearly two years and, I suspect, thinks that I am exaggerating her problems even though I sent her the Memory Clinic’s report in which my friend’s ‘scores’ on various assessments were extremely poor. My friend has lost none of her verbal fluency and her long term memory is pretty good and so when she chats to her relative on the phone everything probably seems fine. What the relative doesn’t know is that a lot of what my friend tells her is inaccurate e.g. she cooks a roast for herself. I know for a fact that she doesn’t because I buy all her food and I do not buy her any meat to cook because the carers heat up ready meals. My friend is recalling what she used to do, or believes she does, but the relative (and, indeed, some health and social care professionals) are taken in by her because she is always very confident / convincing when she answers questions that are asked of her. Recently, she told a SW that when she falls she crawls over to the phone and rings someone. That has never, ever happened - she has always had to wait to be be found - and I had to tell the SW this.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Today was our first medical assessment at the hospital unit, and what a revelation that was. It turns out my OH has Alzheimer’s with Lewy Body Dementia, and is in mid to late stages. The lovely Dr said she was surprised I had lasted so long with him at home. That was all I wanted, a validation of his condition, and that I couldn’t have coped with him any longer. I was worried the unit was making him worse, but no, it’s the disease. And I’m glad his son was there to hear it as well. She gave us a ball park time of anywhere between 6 months to 2-3 yrs. He is now ready for an EMI unit, so that’s the next battle. But I feel better in myself, and although the tears are there every damn day, and I know it will get worse, today was an ok day, so I’m having that.

 

[Sarasa]

I'm glad you now have a diagnosis @Thethirdmrsc and that your husband's son was there to hear what the doctor had to say.
You can feel proud of what you have achieved in keeping him at home, and now ensuring that he is somewhere safe. I hope the home he goes to is easy for you to visit, he settles well and you can get back some sort of relationship.

 

[Melles Belles]

@Thethirdmrsc I can imagine what you have been going through. My FIL had LBD and it’s very challenging with both the mental and mobility deterioration. It seems to progress faster than Alzheimer’s. I hope he is found a suitable place soon and quickly settles.

 

[Bettysue]

I’m pleased that you’ve now got a diagnosis and the next steps are clearer. You’ve done well to care for him so long at home and hopefully he can settle into his new placement with you supporting him as best you can.

 

[Old Flopsy]

Hi @Thethirdmrsc - so pleased to hear you finally got a diagnosis. Things should now progress so the he gets the care he needs and hopefully you get the support from his family that you surely need and deserve. I will be thinking about you.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

I'm glad you now have a diagnosis @Thethirdmrsc and that your husband's son was there to hear what the doctor had to say.
You can feel proud of what you have achieved in keeping him at home, and now ensuring that he is somewhere safe. I hope the home he goes to is easy for you to visit, he settles well and you can get back some sort of relationship.

Thank you so much, and yes, that’s what I want back.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

I’m pleased that you’ve now got a diagnosis and the next steps are clearer. You’ve done well to care for him so long at home and hopefully he can settle into his new placement with you supporting him as best you can.

Thank you Bettysue.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Hi @Thethirdmrsc - so pleased to hear you finally got a diagnosis. Things should now progress so the he gets the care he needs and hopefully you get the support from his family that you surely need and deserve. I will be thinking about you.

Thank you, and I think it was a wake up call to his sons.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Hi @Thethirdmrsc - so pleased to hear you finally got a diagnosis. Things should now progress so the he gets the care he needs and hopefully you get the support from his family that you surely need and deserve. I will be thinking about you.

That’s very kind, thank you.

 

[nae sporran]

It's always a relief to get something to tell you what you are up against. Good to see your husband's son was there to support you and of course he will have a better what is happening as well.
I hope the care home placent and care plan works out now, @Thethirdmrsc

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

It's always a relief to get something to tell you what you are up against. Good to see your husband's son was there to support you and of course he will have a better what is happening as well.
I hope the care home placent and care plan works out now, @Thethirdmrsc

Thank you. I’m sure there will be more hoops, aren’t there always. It’s a shame that with this disease that there aren’t regular check ups, like every year. But you just get left. I hope that you get all the help you can.

 

[nae sporran]

Thank you. I’m sure there will be more hoops, aren’t there always. It’s a shame that with this disease that there aren’t regular check ups, like every year. But you just get left. I hope that you get all the help you can.

Thank you