Hi, I am the caregiver for my 85 year old father with dementia. My husband and I moved in with him a little over 7 months ago. He either doesn’t realize he has dementia ( even though he has been on medication for several years), or he is in denial. My father has never been a talker; so, knowing whether he knows or not has not been verbalized by him. I don’t know if I need to discuss it with him, or if it would be harmful to do so. There are things I feel I need to discuss with him, because he is quite resistant at times with receiving assistance.
New
- Thread starter Novicecaregiver
- Start date
Could you maybe get help from a social worker to start a conversation? Definitely need the discussion around power of attorney etc.
Hello there.
Have you thought about saying , in older age it is common to get help such as….this is what we are going to put in place for you.
Don’t ask they will say no. Don’t mention the reason as being dementia. You won’t be believed and may make him more resistant. We have memory issues or reduced mobility or fatigue. You get the idea.
Good luck.
Have you thought about saying , in older age it is common to get help such as….this is what we are going to put in place for you.
Don’t ask they will say no. Don’t mention the reason as being dementia. You won’t be believed and may make him more resistant. We have memory issues or reduced mobility or fatigue. You get the idea.
Good luck.
Well hello and welcome first of all from me.
I would ask the question were it to be some other terminal condition how often would you bring it up in conversation or remind them?
Denial is quite common with dementia in a way I think it isn't with other terminal conditions.
Some people need to talk, some don't and they do say opposites attract, not in this case I feel.
Sorry if sound a bit harsh, but you have to learn to live on their world when they can't live in our. K
I would ask the question were it to be some other terminal condition how often would you bring it up in conversation or remind them?
Denial is quite common with dementia in a way I think it isn't with other terminal conditions.
Some people need to talk, some don't and they do say opposites attract, not in this case I feel.
Sorry if sound a bit harsh, but you have to learn to live on their world when they can't live in our. K
Most people with dementia have no insight into their condition - that is, they are unaware they have dementia. Even if you remind them, they may deny it and become angry or upset, and they are unlikely to remember the conversation later anyway.
What are the things which you want to discuss - is it practicalities such as him losing his keys or leaving the gas on? If it is things like that, there is no point in discussion as he won't change his behaviour - he can't. So you have to work around it.
Do you have Power of Attorney? If not, and he is still able to understand the process, it would be a good idea to apply for this. If he can no longer understand though, it would be too late to apply.
If you tell us a bit more about what the issues are we may be able to help a bit more.
What are the things which you want to discuss - is it practicalities such as him losing his keys or leaving the gas on? If it is things like that, there is no point in discussion as he won't change his behaviour - he can't. So you have to work around it.
Do you have Power of Attorney? If not, and he is still able to understand the process, it would be a good idea to apply for this. If he can no longer understand though, it would be too late to apply.
If you tell us a bit more about what the issues are we may be able to help a bit more.
Welcome from me too @Novicecaregiver.
I wondered if this would be of any help -
www.alzheimers.org.uk
I wondered if this would be of any help -
Coping with denial and lack of insight with dementia
Coping with lack of insight or denial can be very difficult. Here are practical tips for supporting a person with denial or lack of insight, including support for friends and family.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Similar threads
