Need advice please

Discussion in 'Memory concerns and seeking a diagnosis' started by tbsmum, Jan 7, 2018.

  1. DeMartin

    DeMartin Registered User

    Jul 4, 2017
    609
    Kent
    At a push, rich tea with a filling of peanut butter, meal replacement bars, breakfast bars, could be “fancy biscuits “
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,250
    Female
    South coast
    Is it possible that he is eating outside the home - at a cafe or similar?
     
  3. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    376
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Well if he is remembering next weeks appointment - he just may be ok - is there no temptation in food ??my husband can‘t resist ice cream
     
  4. tbsmum

    tbsmum Registered User

    Jan 7, 2018
    10
    He just doesn't seem interested in food at all - since diner was a no-no I've tried at lunchtimes saying things like, 'I'm having a ham sandwich, do you want one' - but he just replies that I'm forgetting that he doesn't want to eat. He never goes out so can't be getting anything outside.
     
  5. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    376
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Maybe you could say - if you get a good result from the doctors I’m hoping you’ll get your appetite back !! He sounds like he can rationalise - so maybe it just temporary! All the best x
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,250
    Female
    South coast
    It might be just an illusion - he sounds like he has a lot of frontal lobe problems and this can cause problems with behaviour and reasoning before other typical dementia symptoms like memory loss start.
     
  7. tbsmum

    tbsmum Registered User

    Jan 7, 2018
    10
    Well he totally surprised me on Saturday evening. I told him that it was mince and tatties for dinner and was he going to stop messing about and have some - and he said yes, but not too much. He reckoned that he'd lost the 6lbs that he wanted to lose and could start eating again. No mention of "I'll never eat another meal again before I die" etc.. I really can't decide if he's forgotten that, remembers but is just trying to save face, or is playing silly beggars for reasons known only to himself.

    He went for his copd checkup today and was all smiles and charming - we'll see what tomorrow brings when he goes to see the doctor.
     
  8. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    376
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Glad you are getting some mental respite from the hunger !!
    It really is amazing how different days can be !! I was away today but my carer said my husband was very good today !!
     
  9. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,250
    Female
    South coast
    Im glad he has started eating again
    I find that my OH has obsessions that last 2 or 3 weeks and then they are over with and its on to the next thing......
    I also find that his memories change, but he is convinced that he always thought that. Any attempt on my part to say "but you said ......" is seen as me trying to coerce him and tell him what to think.
     
  10. tbsmum

    tbsmum Registered User

    Jan 7, 2018
    10
    The visit to the doctor went well thankfully. He'd obviously taken note of the letter I handed in and got straight to the point. He said the last blood test results (which were probably months ago) were really good and now that we knew he was fine physically it made sense to complete the MOT by checking him out mentally. An appointment is being made at the Old Age Psychiatry Dept of our local hospital and I'm relieved that it all went smoothly.
     
  11. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,178
    Ireland
    Sounds good @tbsmum . Hope that appointment will go equally well.
     
  12. jeff@verynice

    jeff@verynice New member

    Jan 16, 2018
    2
    I'm so sorry to hear you are having these sorts of problems with your husband. I am concern with your Doctor i would ask for another Doctor because that is no help at all.They should of been more supported to you.
     
  13. tbsmum

    tbsmum Registered User

    Jan 7, 2018
    10
    Sorry Jeff - I obviously didn't explain it well. Last week I saw a useless doctor so I made an appointment for us to see a specific doctor and had written to him explaining the situation and the purpose of our visit today. He handled it brilliantly, I felt that he had taken notice of me, my husband felt that he was making the decisions, and something is being done.
     
  14. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    376
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    That all sounds promising now ! All the very best
     
  15. tbsmum

    tbsmum Registered User

    Jan 7, 2018
    10
    Update. A doctor from the memory clinic came out to do the test which wasn't successful because after the first few questions he said he'd like to arrange a scan. My husband obviously felt threatened by this and became uncooperative and surly. After a couple more questions the doctor decided to leave things for now and said he'd arrange for a couple of nurses to come and continue the test in a few weeks time - to which he agreed.

    Our lovely doctor had told me that he strongly suspected frontal lobe dementia and what I'm finding strange is that, since he started eating again, except for some memory confusion and getting surly with the clinic doctor, Bob is back to his normal self - in fact a much improved self.

    I understood that in early stage dementia signs can come and go, but two months of being cheerful is some sort of a record in our household. Is that normal in the early stages?
     
  16. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,250
    Female
    South coast
    Yes it is. My OH still gets times when everything seems normal and a bit of me begins to wonder whether the diagnosis is right, or whether Ive been imagining things (though I know thats not true really) then the weird things start happening again and Im back in Wonderland!
     
  17. tbsmum

    tbsmum Registered User

    Jan 7, 2018
    10
    Thanks for your reply Canary. Although I'm enjoying the calmness I'm not expecting it to last - love your term 'Wonderland' - very descriptive.
     
  18. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    376
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    I agree with canary - so many times have I thought - “gosh have I just imagined this” - but no!! :mad:
    However my husband is much better this month than 9 months ago , as delerium caused by heart problems clears up slowly- the underlying dementia is still there but much more manageable . :p
    I think every illness causes some delerium in my husband’s case -(vascular dementia) so I have to get through the tougher times and trust in better times. Ultimately there is no escape but I get better at managing and so for many hours of many days, life is not too bad- and I think I am especially glad it isn’t me that has the dementia.
     

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