My Oli

[Bugs]

My Oli had a big stroke yesterday. He’s lost the use of his left arm and leg, his speech and it appears most of his vision. I think he can see a bit out of 1 eye but the other is almost closed. I have no idea what the future holds. I can’t see how I could care for him 24/7 in our little flat. He’s a big man and I won’t be able to manoeuvre him in and out of bed. I’m overwhelmed by it all.

 

[SeaSwallow]

@Bugs I am so sorry to read about your Oli’s stroke. It must feel so overwhelming to you at present. All I can suggest for now is to take everything one day at a time and to see how your Oli progresses. Depending on that progress you might be able to look after him at home with the help of carers or he might need residential care. You would still be looking after your Oli but just in a different way.
Please keep us updated as to his progress and how you are managing.

 

[canary]

Oh @Bugs how awful, you must be devastated
See how it goes - there may be a lot of recovery, but if he needs to move into a care home you will still be his wife and carer, just not doing the heavy "hands on" stuff.

 

[Izzy]

Oh @Bugs how dreadful. I’m so sorry to hear that. Wishing you strength for the coming days as it becomes clear what will happen.

 

[Sarasa]

@Bugs so sorry to hear that. I agree with everyone else that a move into care wouldn’t stop you bring a carer, you’d just have a whole team to help.

 

[Bugs]

I can’t tell you how much your comments have made to me. You are right, I would still be caring for him just in a different way. Today there seems to be no change. I’m on my way to the hospital shortly. This is so very hard. Thanks for your support

 

[sdmhred]

So sorry to read this @Bugs 😢😢

Keep us in touch. You are definitely still his carer wherever he is - you know him best!

Thinking of you this afternoon xx

 

[jugglingmum]

Bugs I'm so sorry to read this.

It'll take a few days for the hospital to work out what's happening to him.

 

[scotlass]

I'm so very sorry to hear this, you must be heartbroken, wait and see how he recovers..sending you cuddles..

 

[Izzy]

Continuing to wish you strength @Bugs.

 

[GillP]

Oh @Bugs , I am so sorry to hear about the stroke. It is early days and progress can be made. As others have said a day at a time and accept help offered. If residential care is needed you will still be involved but as his wife. Try to look after yourself

 

[Bugs]

Update. There Is no improvement today. The consultant says that 7-10 days are critical. If there has been no improvement by then we cannot expect improvement at all. He also intimated that he wouldn’t be surprised if Oli has another stroke. They did another CT scan this afternoon but not sure when we will get the results. So he’s just lying there with no speech, very little vision and no movement on his left side and can’t swallow. . I’m told the clot is at the bottom rear right side of his brain. Dr Google tells me that it’s the brain stem that controls involuntary movements eg swallowing. This is so hard. Thank you for letting me share.

 

[GillP]

Update. There Is no improvement today. The consultant says that 7-10 days are critical. If there has been no improvement by then we cannot expect improvement at all. He also intimated that he wouldn’t be surprised if Oli has another stroke. They did another CT scan this afternoon but not sure when we will get the results. So he’s just lying there with no speech, very little vision and no movement on his left side and can’t swallow. . I’m told the clot is at the bottom rear right side of his brain. Dr Google tells me that it’s the brain stem that controls involuntary movements eg swallowing. This is so hard. Thank you for letting me share.

Thank you for taking the time to update us. I hope that you manage to eat and sleep tonight. Thinking of you and Oli.

 

[canary]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) @Bugs

 

[jay6]

Sorry to gear that @Bugs, try to stay strong. If it's any help, my OH had a bad stroke 10 years ago (but it was a bleed) He also lost the use of his left arm and leg, his speech and part vision.
He had to have the blood drained with a 4 in 1 chance he wouldn't make it. The surgeon said he could have ended as a cabbage if he did survive so it was a hard decision to go ahead with the operation. When he was discharged he was bed ridden and it was hard work but 6-9 months later he proved the hospital wrong and was walking without even a stick. He never regained the use of his left arm and walking wasn't great but he even manages stairs now. So don't give up just yet. Try and stay positive. It really does help you both. Life obviously changes, we can't walk costal paths etc. which we enjoyed but at least we could still have a life. Unfortunately we now have dementia and that's a lot more challenging for me.

 

[Izzy]

So sorry to hear your update @Bugs. 🤗

 

[Bugs]

Sorry to gear that @Bugs, try to stay strong. If it's any help, my OH had a bad stroke 10 years ago (but it was a bleed) He also lost the use of his left arm and leg, his speech and part vision.
He had to have the blood drained with a 4 in 1 chance he wouldn't make it. The surgeon said he could have ended as a cabbage if he did survive so it was a hard decision to go ahead with the operation. When he was discharged he was bed ridden and it was hard work but 6-9 months later he proved the hospital wrong and was walking without even a stick. He never regained the use of his left arm and walking wasn't great but he even manages stairs now. So don't give up just yet. Try and stay positive. It really does help you both. Life obviously changes, we can't walk costal paths etc. which we enjoyed but at least we could still have a life. Unfortunately we now have dementia and that's a lot more challenging for me.

It is so good to hear that there is hope

 

[Grannie G]

I`m sad for you @Bugs. Fingers crossed there may be some recovery.

 

[leny connery]

My Oli had a big stroke yesterday. He’s lost the use of his left arm and leg, his speech and it appears most of his vision. I think he can see a bit out of 1 eye but the other is almost closed. I have no idea what the future holds. I can’t see how I could care for him 24/7 in our little flat. He’s a big man and I won’t be able to manoeuvre him in and out of bed. I’m overwhelmed by it all.

So very sorry your Oli and you had to have this happen.As for the future, it is perhaps time to get him into care, where a group of proffesional, from carer to nurse to doctor who will take over his care. Until it happens, I hope you can get visiting carers to help you to physically care for him. Get him out of bed, washed and dressed. So very sad for you, and fir all carers here doing our best to cope. Tight hugs and ❤️

 

[Bugs]

Well, I went this morning and he's even less responsive than yesterday. I asked him to open his eyes, nothing. Asked him to squeeze my hand, nothing. So I sat there and just talked to him. I told him of the family and friends who send their love. I talked about our earlier life, and of course how much I and our two daughters love him. I just hope he was able to hear.
only now can I fully appreciate the desperation Dutchman felt when he talked about sitting in his car and crying his eyes out. I have now joined that club.
Thank you everyone for your support and understanding. We shall have to see what the next week brings.