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My new status

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,794
Hertfordshire
Havejust read Sylvia's thread about Dhirens ashes. I am in themiddle of. Doing that too withGordon.

I went to Sheringham which was our favourite holiday place. I took some of his ashes and scattered them on both of thecliffside walks we used to do.

Like Sylvia we were interupted by other walkers. It was tricky.

Last week I left some if him on a local walk we used to do I tried to walk right round the pond where we used to look for frogspawn but it is so overgrown I couldn't.

Slowly but surely Gordon is being left in places which. Had happy memories. For both of us.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,789
Kent
Oh I do like that idea, Jeanette.

I walked down to the sea side this morning. It felt different. I felt Dhiren's presence. I hope you feel Gordon's presence when you re visit these special places of yours . Xx
 

garnuft

Registered User
Sep 7, 2012
6,585
That's lovely Jeanette. I never thought of it as Sylvia has said, their presence in special places will make it a comforting place to be instead of being steeped in sadness.

Mam and Dad are buried in a Churchyard, two up and one down from my grandparents and a little further down is my daughter.
I try my hardest to think of them and chat to all of them as I tend their graves and arrange the flowers but it seems empty and false.
Then today I went to the Café in the old fishing Harbour that Mam loved and had to go back to the car as I felt overwhelmed with sadness, so I came home and sat in the garden for a while, wearing her old cardigan :eek:

Hope you are feeling a little better. Love XXX
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,794
Hertfordshire
Went away at the weekend with a large group from Church. Big old house, shared a room with two friends.

Everyone tried, but oh dear I just wanted to come home.

Too many people, children running about being happy, too many couples talking with eachother.

Sat at one table with one friend more recently widowed than me, and two couples. The two men chatted together, and the two women chatted to each other, laving me and my friend to chat on our own.

My friend really noticed this and as quite upset.

I will probably go again ext year but I will be a year further on, and hopefully more positive.

I just find it so hard to get up in the mornings, then I find it hard to go to bed at night.

I keep reminding myself, that it is natural to be like this ( at least for me) and that I will " grow" out of it.

Jeannette
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,959
Brixham Devon
Oh Jeannette-I'm so sorry that you feel so lost and sad.

As I wrote on Saffie's thread to her, it is so brave of you to even attempt to do such things.

The temptation must be there not to do anything.

Thinking of you as always

Love

Lyn T XXX
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,514
Near Southampton
Jeannette, why don't you consider coming to Launde abbey next year. It's a lovely, peaceful place - well, until we arrive anyway! - and we are a half decent crowd of people! You will be among friends and like-minded people I'm sure. x
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,789
Kent
I know exactly how you feel about `home` Jeanette. It`s secure , it`s safe and we don`t need to put on an act to make others feel better.

I had a few holidays both before and since Dhiren died but I`ve now accepted, for the time being, days out are sufficient.

We all have our different ways of dealing with loss and need to be able to get on with it in the way it suits us as individuals.

I`m sorry you were not really ready for your time away but at least you trued. xx
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,794
Hertfordshire
Feeling ill . This is the 4th day of effects from flu jab ( or coincidence?)

I remember having a reaction last year too but now I do not have to get up and care for GORDON. Can just take it easy. I may not have it next year . This reaction hasbeen and still is awful
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,789
Kent
I`m sorry to hear this Jeanette.

I believe each year the flu jab is for a different strain which is why some have worse effects than others.

I have mine next Thursday. :eek:
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,794
Hertfordshire
I think my reaction may be worse because of the side effects of medication for blood pressure ( which I have now stopped).the side effect is a dreadful cough, and it goes on for ever it seems.

I cough until I am sick so it is hard to keep fluids down . All through the night too.

However I am feeling a bit calmer this morning .

Other friends have hadno effects at all Sylvia so hopefully you will be ok.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,959
Brixham Devon
Sorry to read that you aren't feeling too well Jeannette

I hope the calm feeling grows throughout the day

Thinking of you

Lyn T xxxxxxx
 

Grandma Joan

Registered User
Mar 29, 2013
276
Wiltshire
Hi Jeanette
I've just read through your thread for the first time. I can only say that you are doing so well. How difficult it is to lose a loved one, whether partner, parent whatever. This time last year we were losing my adorable Dad, October 30th is the anniversary of his passing.
He left my Mother, his widow (90) and it has been incredibly hard for her to stay positive and for us to support her to stay positive, she has visual impairment too but otherwise is pretty healthy. So I just have so much respect for you for fighting so hard to come through the overwhelming grief.

We are still deciding what to do with Dad's ashes after almost a year. I like your idea of lots of different places, I think that might help us to finally free them (I like that expression too)

Cornwall is my most favourite place in the world, I love it out of season on a sunny day, the coastline is beautiful and breathtaking and stunning and I hope you love it down there.

Take care x
 

DeborahBlythe

Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
9,222
Dear Jeannette, I hope you feel better soon. It was a good thing to go away for that short break. It may not have worked out exactly how you wanted, but at least you were out and about and showing your face to the world. A difficult thing to do, sometimes, but you did it. x
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,514
Near Southampton
I think my reaction may be worse because of the side effects of medication for blood pressure ( which I have now stopped).the side effect is a dreadful cough, and it goes on for ever it seems.
Was it an Ace-inhibitor Jeannette?
I take those and the side effect can be a cough but I seem to be ok. (Now coughing of course - such is the power of suggestion!)

I do hope you feel better soon.
I think everything is enhanced after losing a spouse. I mean we are now different people, no longer one of a couple. Even if, as in my case, the other half of the couple wasn't living at home, we were still together. Now, as the curate said, I am a 'widow' - that was a bit of a shock'!

I do hope you will feel a lot better soon.

I haven't had my 'flu jab yet but I don't usually have any reaction at all apart from maybe a sore arm for a day or so. I hope this year is the same! x
 

Eternity

Registered User
Jul 17, 2013
226
London
I'm sorry you've had a bad reaction to the flu jab - I remember my dad used to have a few awful days with it each year.

Hope something a little beautiful/lovely happens to you today

xx
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,959
Brixham Devon
I'm beginning to wonder if Pete's latest chest infection was due to him having the flu jab a few days before?

No way of knowing I suppose?

Take care

Lyn T
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,794
Hertfordshire
The furst tablet was an ace inhibitor . I was on that three weeks then a different one but that has upset me too. I think having had whooping cough about two years ago has left me with avulnerability .

I am feeling reasonable today as long asi stay sitting in my recliner!

I agree Lyn mine might be coincidence, we will never know,

I hope Pete is in better form for your visit today

Jeannette
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,794
Hertfordshire
I'm sorry you've had a bad reaction to the flu jab - I remember my dad used to have a few awful days with it each year.

Hope something a little beautiful/lovely happens to you today

xx
It already has . A crotchety neighbour in our retirement complex who can be very blunt and scathing, called yesterday to ask me to go on the committee. I answered the door in pjs and dressing gown, told him I was ill, and NO.

He rang this morning to ask if he could get anything at the supermarket for me as he was going !!!

I was really touched by that

Jeannette