Hi
I don't know if anyone can give me any advice.
I am looking after my widowed mother who has Alzheimers - she's still almost coping. My daughters relationship broke up and she moved home - My husband said that I never asked his permission for my daughter (his stepdaughter) to move home or my mother to be looked after and he has left - HELP
This is a true CRISIS for the poster and one not entirely of her making. This post will read like criticism but it is meant as support - facts need to be faced head on - to minimise situation deteriorating.
Elsewhere today I read the following quotation
Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear.
--Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
I am not sure if I believe that in every situation, but it does not say we have to cope alone - so well done to our poster for seeking support here - seeking support is not something I do often enough, due to my pride and arrogance.
The supporting comments to that quote Follow.
(Reflecting on the past reveals that indeed we do find the strength and the ability to cope with whatever experience ripples our calm. Moreover, we have come to accept that these tides of turmoil wash in new awarenesses, heightened perceptions, and measurable calm.
Tragedies are guaranteed to trigger first pain, then perceptible growth, and finally, tranquility. Over and over again we pass through these stages that are designed to nurture our fuller development as healthy human beings. Over and over we see that the tough times teach us what we're ready to learn.
We can look to the day ahead fully expecting to be strengthened enough to handle whatever we've been readied to experience. Nothing will present itself that can't be coped with.
Today I can be certain of growing. I will meet the challenges in unison with my inner strength.)
and I got it from a 'thought for today' that was emailed to me - today - from The Hazelden Addiction treatment organisation
http://www.hazelden.org/web/landing.view
- I am an addict - there are good ideas there for non addicts as well, but not everything will be relevant to all.
To continue if the reader wishes.
By CRISIS, I mean something not experienced before for which we do not have a ready made answer and we need to seek new 'to us' ways of managing - we may not need to take action, sometimes just continuing on and seeing what develops is better than trying to 'fix' everything and every body - including ourselves.
But in a CRISIS I need and am entitled to seek support.
The sort of places I might seek support if I had relationship problems like those described would be from the RELATE organisation, if I was in the UK, they can often provide emergency help.
http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html
It maybe I have some friends who will listen and not tell me what to do, or a religious leader, who I can approach - many Faith Groups provide this support without expecting (nor should they) one to make any committment to them.
Having someone who will listen is vital.
Thank goodness there is always the Samaritans who are superb at listening whilst one gets some of their own thoughts and feelings in to some sort of order.
http://www.samaritans.org/
PS - I don't think the poster is the person she describes with her user name - it is a 'wise owl' who seeks support not a 'silly billy'!