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My dear wife.

gringo

Registered User
Feb 1, 2012
1,189
UK.
As if her life was not difficult enough, the threat of cancer has reared it’s ugly head again. I just want to bring her home and shut the door on this pitiless world. I wish I were able to that, I’m sitting here, ashamed, helpless and useless, muttering the most dreadful obscenities.
She saw the best in everyone, me most of all, never a bad word about anybody. When she walked into a room she spread happiness around her. I took it all for granted. I should have been on my knees every night blessing my extraordinary good fortune.
Now she is a shell, frightened, not knowing who she is or where she is. It breaks my heart to see her and I want to stay away and not have to witness this, but I can’t.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,168
68
Dundee
Oh Gringo. I am somsorry to read about your poor wife. I can feel your heartache through your words. I wish I had words to help but I know none can. Thinking of you both.
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
There are no words..... I am so sad for your pain.I hope peace and comfort can be found for your wife.
 

pony-mad

Registered User
May 23, 2014
1,073
Mid-Wales
Holding your hand Gringo.
You were indeed lucky to be loved by her, just as she is to be loved by you.
Sending strength and love.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello Gringo, l am so sorry you are going through so much stress and torment, l hope you find the strength to carry on.
Sending you a big ((((HUG))))
 

tryingmybest

Registered User
May 22, 2015
631
Tears are falling as I read your post. I am so very sorry for you both. Such a wicked thing when you have been through so much. Sending you a huge hug and strength to cope with this turn of events Gringo. Xx
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
Oh my dear Gringo my heart is breaking for you

Wrapping you in a blanket, it's a cold , unfeeling, painful world you are in, I have a light too, as I know how deep and dark the hole is, it does flicker, this light, hope you can see it xxxxxxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
12,812
England
So very sorry Gringo that you and your lovely wife are struggling so much. My thoughts are with you both.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,506
Near Southampton
I am sorry .
I understand your pain and am so sorry that cancer is now making things worse.
It's heartbreaking to see those we love in pain and fear.
Harder still to not see them at all.
As to the taking spouses for granted, I understand that too, hence the words below.x
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,002
Colchester
My dear wife

As if her life was not difficult enough, the threat of cancer has reared it’s ugly head again. I just want to bring her home and shut the door on this pitiless world. I wish I were able to that, I’m sitting here, ashamed, helpless and useless, muttering the most dreadful obscenities.
She saw the best in everyone, me most of all, never a bad word about anybody. When she walked into a room she spread happiness around her. I took it all for granted. I should have been on my knees every night blessing my extraordinary good fortune.
Now she is a shell, frightened, not knowing who she is or where she is. It breaks my heart to see her and I want to stay away and not have to witness this, but I can’t.
So terribly sad to hear about your wife and the pain you are suffering. You say you want to bring her home. Is she in a care home or hospital. I understand how hard it must be to leave her, when you really want to have her home. Of course you feel hopeless but you are not useless and please don't be ashamed. Caring for a loved one with dementia is the hardest thing for anyone to cope with. I send you love and wish you some peace.x
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
I am also very sorry and understand having been through similar myself, as others here have. YOU have nothing to be ashamed about and certainly not useless. Helplessness is there as we are only human and do our very best, which you are doing and have done.
I should have been on my knees every night blessing my extraordinary good fortune.
I understand that only too well.

I hope the cancer problem is just a threat and can be managed well.

If your wife could I am sure she would be on her knees blessing the fact you are still there supporting her through sickness as in health.
 

gringo

Registered User
Feb 1, 2012
1,189
UK.
Many thanks for all the good wishes. The new day will bring what it will.
Three years ago I posted this poem. It’s a very long way from good, it’s many faults are too obvious. And yet it’s probably the nearest I have ever got to saying what I want to say. So please forgive me for reposting it now.

I was wild, just out of the navy and looking to have some fun.
Her first time away from home and she wasn’t easy to please
She was the apple of her father’s eye and I was nobody’s son.
No way could I resist this lovely girl, so easy was she to tease.

There was only a year between us, but I had spent years at sea.
I felt like an ancient roué, while she hardly had started her life.
She was like a delicate flower but I learnt she was tougher than me.
She had decided, without telling me, she intended becoming my wife.

There I was living the life of O’Reilly, and having a rip-roaring time.
Then, without any warning, I was being introduced to her Mum.
She stood there looking me over, as if I’d committed a crime.
I don’t yet know how it happened, I still thought of the girl as a chum!

My life changed abruptly and I don’t recall being asked for my views.
Amid all the preparations, I looked up and caught sight of her face.
What I saw in her eyes, at that moment, was a love I was never to lose.
What she had known at the start, was made plain to me by her grace

Looking back down the years it is clear, how truly lucky I’ve been
With gossamer strands she bound me around, as if I wanted to stray.
In hard times the strands held us fast, and she was always my queen.
Now she is in care and I live alone, and I didn’t want to wake up to-day.
 

tigerlady

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
427
Sending you much love and hugs - I am in tears after reading your post and your beautiful poem. Your love and devotion shines through and I pray that it will give you enough strength for the both of you to see you through this ordeal xx
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,073
Devon
A beautiful poem Gringo, and the love you and your wife have for each other shines through everything you say. I'm so sorry these are such dark days for you both.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Such a beautiful poem Gringo, and your love for your darling wife shines through every word, every line and every verse. All your friends n TP are thinking of you, at this difficult time, and wishing you the strength that you need. xxxx
 

Bigreader

Registered User
Jan 22, 2016
26
I love your poem, it could have been written for me and my husband word for word. We met on Southsea Pier when he was in the Navy and I was a young 18 year old on my first holiday without my parents.

I'm so sorry to read about your wife. Watching my husband due (not from dementia) was the worst thing I ever did.

Hugs and sympathy,
BR x