As if her life was not difficult enough, the threat of cancer has reared it’s ugly head again. I just want to bring her home and shut the door on this pitiless world. I wish I were able to that, I’m sitting here, ashamed, helpless and useless, muttering the most dreadful obscenities. She saw the best in everyone, me most of all, never a bad word about anybody. When she walked into a room she spread happiness around her. I took it all for granted. I should have been on my knees every night blessing my extraordinary good fortune. Now she is a shell, frightened, not knowing who she is or where she is. It breaks my heart to see her and I want to stay away and not have to witness this, but I can’t.