1. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,437
    Female
    Dundee
    I feel for you Gringo.
     
  2. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    402
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    I'm so sorry Gringo, but I hope you can get some strength from all your friends on here.
     
  3. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    2,416
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    I read the whole thread
    You have a beautiful soul
    I should learn from you
     
  4. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,478
    London
    So sorry Gringo your love for your dear wife has always shone through your posts, please keep posting I have found TP a great comfort after my husband's death. Xx
     
  5. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    Much love to you Gringo x
     
  6. Miss Merlot

    Miss Merlot Registered User

    Oct 15, 2012
    3,262
    Dear gringo,

    I've come to this very late in the day, but wanted to belatedly pass on my condolences.

    I am truly sorry for your loss.

    MM xx
     
  7. gringo

    gringo Registered User

    Feb 1, 2012
    1,189
    UK.
    Endless nights and lonely empty days.
    I’m like a ship with no anchor, drifting with the tide.
    On a leaden sea, shrouded in a colourless haze.
    Since that sad dawn on which my dear wife died.

    How truly hard this is! The worst part has been the gradual realisation of the finality of this parting. I know that may sound odd, but I had hoped against hope that I would wakeup to find it all a very bad dream.
    Having trouble sleeping, I spend the time trawling the internet. Inevitably, grasping at any straws, I sample the bereavement forums and am surprised at the number of web sites dealing with conjecture and discussion about life after death, from both the religious and scientific standpoints. I have always considered myself an agnostic on scientific grounds. But now I find my scientific scruples are only skin deep and I desperately want to be proved wrong. I want to believe that death is not the end. I spend my time hoping, looking and listening for a sign.
    So I sit in the cemetery waiting….
    As the proverb says ’There’s no fool like an old fool.’
     
  8. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    2,416
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    #188 margherita, Jul 16, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2017
    You are not an old fool!!!
    When my father died in 1995, I was going through a difficult period, made worse by his loss.
    I started writing to him..Not letters. A dialogue with him, where I wrote what I thought he would have told me, had he been alive.
    It helped me a lot not to feel alone.
    It gave me the strength to go on, he was with me, by me. I can't explain how, but he was.
    And he still is.
     
  9. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,167
    Merseyside
    Oh Gringo I wish you peace & strength.
     
  10. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352

    Hi Gringo, I too have been down this path, and understand how hard this realisation is. Some days, I dream that Roger is back with me, but then reality hits. I have bought books about grieving, but nothing really changes it. I now find that my beliefs are all over the place; I am now living in hope that my love and I will meet again. If I lose that belief, I will lose all hope in my life. I feel his presence all around me, and am sure he's with me in everything I do.

    Can we be a pair of old fools together? :)
     
  11. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Here's another who seeks answers but can find none.
    Little comfort either.
    Gringo, it is all so new for you but I hope that you will eventually fiind some meaning to your days. I drift too and am constantly aware that time is precious but lack the energy or the will to do anything about it. When the focus of our lives disappears, that which gave us purpose for so long is taken away too and it is not easy to find other things with which to fill our lives.
    I hope that in time you will find some meaning to it all Gringo.
    Take care of yourself. x
     
  12. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Dear Mike,

    You are suffering from deep, deep grief, loss and immeasurable heartbreak. Why does wanting to believe that death is not the end make you a fool? I hold on tight to my Spiritual beliefs-it's how I cope on a certain level. Many people can't embrace the idea
    that they will somehow meet their loved one when they themselves pass; but why should a scientific viewpoint be more likely than a Spiritualist one?

    Many people on this Forum have posted about 'signs' where they felt their LO was 'watching' over them; wishful thinking or the result of a deep seated belief? I remember very clearly on a dark Winter's day, not long after Pete had passed, looking out of the window at the dark sky and crying with the sheer pain of loss. The room started to slowly get lighter and I felt Pete give me one of his bear hugs. Yes, I felt his presence and his love, and it comforted me. I hope you find the same comfort soon Mike.

    Love,

    Lyn T XX
     
  13. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Am walking right beside you Mike.

    Aisling
     
  14. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,437
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm just echoing what everyone else has said here.

    I'm coming up to the first anniversary of a Bill's death. I miss him desperately. I speak to him all the time. I see the first star in an evening and speak to it as if it were him. The same with the moon. I even speak to his chair!

    My response to his death has been to fill my days and weeks with activities and being with others. I often think that because of this people think I have 'got over' Bill's death. That is not the case and never will be. I know it sounds corny but I feel that Bill is in my heart and with me in everything I do.

    I'm sorry Gringo. I hope you find some solace.
     

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