My dad has vascular dementia

[Loopylu]

Hello everyone.
I've joined this forum because I guess I just need to hear that we are not alone.
My dad has recently been diagnosed with moderately severe vascular dementia. We've known that he has had some form.of dementia for a fee years now but as my dad really isn't keen on seeing doctors etc it's taken us a long time to get this far with a diagnosis.
My dad is 89.
My mum died just over a year ago and this has been incredibly painful for is all as we are a very close family. Since this time, dad's symptoms have worsened.
Last September I left my life in Sussex and moved back to Cornwall to live with and care for my dad.
It's been incredibly hard, losing my mum, leaving my family in Sussex and now, day by day seeing my dad change, struggle and become and extreemly vulnerable.
Every day has its challenges and no two days are the same.
His dementia affects so much more than just his memory: his compression, his hearing his stability, the lack of hunger and choking when eating. The contradictory behaviour and make believing stories. His long hours sleeping and constant dreaming and hallucinations when waking.
He doesn't believe he has dementia but he will often say he thinks he's going mad.
It's been a hard year and at times I can feel very, very low and mentally exhausted.

Thank you for listening x

 

[SAP]

Hi @Loopylu , welcome to talking point. You have certainly had much to cope with over the last year and although I know it’s not on top of your prioright now, I do hope you are able to take some time out for your self. Carer burn out is real and no one can just keep going forever.
Has your dad been assessed by social services yet? It sounds like it might be time to consider some extra help. Also you mention choking, adult speech and language therapy team may be able to give you some support with this ( known by their initials (SALT)
If you need someone to talk about his symptoms to , the admiral nurse are a good place to start.

Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline

Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.

www.dementiauk.org

Also, maybe your dad needs his medication checked by the GP especially for the hallucinations.
You are most definitely not on your own. The members here know exactly how hard this disease is to manage , especially at the state your dad is at.
Please come back for a chat ( or a rant) , to ask questions and to seek support. All the best.