Mum recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's

[Bramble5]

Hi,

I am new to the site and wondered if anyone could offer me some advice please? My mum and I have recently been to the Memory Clinic, had a CT scan and follow-up appointment at the Memory Clinic. Follow-up appointment required further analysis from senior doctor before making a diagnosis. As per my mum's request, I have received the phone call with the news of her diagnosis. I obviously want to share this news with her immediately but she is to see her GP later on regarding her general health and well-being. Is it wise to break this news to her before she goes and risk upsetting her etc or is it best to do this at another time so that she can then make a further appointment with her GP to discuss further. Thank you.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

What about having the GP give her the diagnosis? I personally think it's best to have a medical professional do it. After all, it is a medical matter.

However, may I caution you that repeatedly telling her about her diagnosis may not be the best for her? I have met a couple of individuals who were aware that they had AD but as a rule people suffering from AD have lost insight into their condition. My mother would fly into a rage if anyone even mentioned Alzheimer's.

 

[VickyG]

Hi,

I am new to the site and wondered if anyone could offer me some advice please? My mum and I have recently been to the Memory Clinic, had a CT scan and follow-up appointment at the Memory Clinic. Follow-up appointment required further analysis from senior doctor before making a diagnosis. As per my mum's request, I have received the phone call with the news of her diagnosis. I obviously want to share this news with her immediately but she is to see her GP later on regarding her general health and well-being. Is it wise to break this news to her before she goes and risk upsetting her etc or is it best to do this at another time so that she can then make a further appointment with her GP to discuss further. Thank you.

Hi

Personally, i would leave it to the GP. Why potentially have days of upset, frustration and tears, or even mum being withdrawn or moody ? If she does ask in the meantime, i would just say you don't know or haven't heard back.
Sometimes the news is better to be broken by the 'professionals'. We just have to deal with the potential fall-out

Good luck and hope all goes ok.

 

[zeeeb]

I would leave it to the GP as well, the GP can be the bad guy, he/she doesn't have to see her every day and deal with the implications that you will if you play the "bad guy". This way if you need to use the GP as the scape goat for her aggression or unhappiness then so be it. If it doesn't go down well, you can shrug your shoulders and blame everything on the doctors and be on her side.

 

[emwmarine]

My mother would fly into a rage if anyone even mentioned Alzheimer's.

This could be my mum. Well it could have been in the early to mid stages.

Your mum is also likely to forget her diagnosis.

 

[SchrodingerCat]

My mum remembered her diagnosis (she was pretty early stages when diagnosed) from when she was told it (about 4 years ago) until relatively recently. However how she was told the diagnosis metamorphosed from when she initially told me and said how wonderfully supportive and kind the doctor had been to how rude, nasty and unpleasant he'd been telling her the diagnosis. The process from remembering 'good doctor' to 'evil doctor' took about 6 months with gradual changes until she was recounting how he'd told her the diagnosis while he had his back to her and said it served her right/laughed etc etc.

We have always assumed that the transformation was around my mum replaying it in her mind and slowly changing the details and that this was coloured by how awful receiving the diagnosis was (just for clarity we do not think that the doctor was not good to her in any way shape or form but that she's changed her memory).

So, given it's likely to be a strong memory (if she retains it) I'd strongly recommend you get the doctor to do it so she does not associate the bad feelings around being told the diagnosis with you personally. Much better that it's a doctor who you can change to another one if there's a problem

I'm finding it odd that my Mum can still remember some things but now has no short term memory left at all; for example my uncle died 2 years ago (her brother) and she remembers that and the funeral but doesn't remember that I told her how my work was going 2 mins ago; I think it goes with how big an event is; the big stuff still leaves an imprint but everything else just gets lost in the noise of the disease.