Hi Chrissiemary so sorry to hear of you mums passing and how much it is affecting you.
My mum died in October. To keep her close I go to her grave and plant another flower. Chat to her. Walk round and read other grave stones. Ive volunteered to help in the cemetery . Just to help other families.
Ive had bereavement counselling which has helped a lot. As i sort through her items, very slowly, i cherish every moment. See it as spending time with her.
Ive put some of her plants on her grave and have her bird feeders in my allotment. So shes never far away.
Your mum will always be in your heart. Memories of her, will always be there. They don't ever go away.
I have no idea if there is an afterlife etc. I just liked chatting to her. Sharing photos she kept. Sharing books she read. They have given me great comfort, just sharing her memories.
We all find a way that brings family close to our hearts. Each is different. But each is important.
Learn to hold her in your heart. Its different to holding her, but its a good second best.
Give yourself time. Dont rush how you feel. Do nice things for yourself. I make sure I go for walks, do photography, see friends. Watch films. Sleep during the day if I am too tired. Anything. Have peace on my own to reflect. Take your time and be kind to yourself. X