Mum Now Attacked in CH!

[Wolfsgirl]

Thank you Cristin - yes it is a NHS hearing aid and much better (more robust) than the one she bought privately for at least a thousand! I don't think it is a problem with Mum taking the aid out, in fact it may be that it is simply left in. Sometimes she puts it somewhere safe (hidden) and sometimes it has been found in the bed or under it.

It is supposed to be collected at night kept safe on the trolley and given out in the morning. To discover what is going wrong I need to find out exactly what the nightime procedure is, also with regard to dentures. I need to know how she is being 'seen' to bed! There is only one carer at night so she could well be very busy and Mum stays up late 11 - 12pm.

I would prefer Mum to hand over the hearing aid at say 8pm if that is more convenient for staff than for it to constantly go missing. The CH will have to find a workable solution.

Christin thank you for giving me the idea of obtaining a spare one once we have got to the bottom of this recurring problem!

Sharon

Hello Wolfsgirl, I am pleased that you have made contact with the manager and I hope you get an understanding response.

Can I ask if the hearing aids are from the National Health? My FIL had them and had so much trouble, often they became very damp in his ear and he would remove them. At home we placed them in the airing cupboard each night to dry them out. Rambling, here. Anyway the hearing clinic did give us replacements for them, without seeing FIL. When he went into a NH they gave us a spare one, for us to keep at home, and we took it with us each time we visited, often swapping them over. I just wondered if you are able to obtain another one easily.

Very best wishes to you and your mum.

 

[starryuk]

Hello Wolfsgirl,

Hearing aids are SUCH a problem, aren't they? My mum has 2 pairs. One expensive in the ear thingies, (as you say£1000 each+) and one old over the ear ones.

After a chat with the manager and senior staff, I now keep the posh ones in the office at the CH and pick them up if I need them.
They were a nightmare. Mum was CONSTANTLY taking them out and losing them for days. The carers were often spending hours searching high and low for them. They tried their best, but...in the end we gave up.

Mum now wears the old over the ear ones and doesn't take them out at all thank goodness. There are still a few days when she doesn't have them in, but I can always find them in a drawer in her room.

Why do your mum's have to be put on the trolley? Couldn't they arrange a place in your mum's room for them to be kept? Their own hiding place?!
What about making a large laminated poster to put somewhere on the wall in her room to remind the carers? A friendly one with picture or something? Could that work?

I hope you find a solution soon, I really sympathise.

Angela

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Angry, upset and fearful!

One of the residents in the CH told one of the carers that Mum was assaulted by another lady resident in a wheelchair on Sunday night, sometime after 9pm! Apparently this was only discovered yesterday when the man who witnessed it reported it.

Care home manager has not responded to my e mail, not called, deputy said she is off sick! Surely someone else would pick up her e mails??? 'the area manager' - heard nothing.

I have an appointment there tomorrow at 11am but feel sick inside and heartbroken too poor little Mum, no hearing so frail. Why wasn't she tucked up in bed with the hearing aid safely stashed away, the dentures taken out and in her own room? Oh no, she chose to wander and was attacked!

This is terrible because Mum can't remember and we thought it strange that on Monday when my brother visited she was on her own in her room - this has never happened in 3 mths she has been there.

My daughter is coming with me to the appointment and will be quite scathing. I feel so emotional and want to fight but she has an incredibly sharp tongue.

The CH are taking this very seriously and involving SS 'risk assessments' etc.

What would you do apart from looking for another CH?

Sharon

 

[Wolfsgirl]

See my previous thread for the terrible latest! 'Hearing seeing and eating'

 

[1954]

Ok will do

Am with you all the way, you are not alone

 

[oneloopylady]

This is just dreadful to hear, and sadly, we do hear of this kind of thing happening to vulnerable adults a lot. I would be inclined to contact the Care Quality Commission anyway, as it sounds like things are not working well in that place at all, for various reasons, and they need to be investigated.

Gosh, on the assault, I don't know what I would do! Natural reaction is to pick mum up and run with her, in't it? But that isn't good for mum either.

By the way - I am like you - fall apart emotionally at times like this, and VERY thankful that I too have one tough cookie of a daughter to look out for her granddad, and to have my back. Maybe let daughter 'loose' on them tomorrow and make it plain that you will be taking this further.

Let us know how the meeting goes, and try to get some sleep tonight, though I know that is harder than it sounds when your mind is in turmoil.

Love and hugs
Trisha

 

[1954]

Has your mum been attacked by another resident in the home?

 

[Butter]

the good news is that you know about this. It would be so much worse if the man had not spoken to the carer and the carer had not reported the incident.

Unfortunately, unless people are never left alone, we can never know exactly what happens. We don't even know if the gentleman who saw the incident really saw what he says he saw. It is so very difficult.

My mum attacked many people. She also got hurt. But in this situation it is very difficult to untangle the events. My dad was also attacked by a resident, while visiting my mum. The resident was given one-to-one care 24/7. Even then, these things happen.

The whole situation can be very volatile. Doctors are reluctant to over-sedate people for obvious reasons, and people can be very disturbed.

You have all my sympathy. I hope your mum was not hurt.

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Yes and feel in bits!

Has your mum been attacked by another resident in the home?

 

[2jays]

Does anyone know where my mum's other shoe is? I/we/the carers have been looking for it for 3 weeks now!!! How can you lose one shoe? And it was almost brand new...and had her name in!
/QUOTE]

Have you checked the fridge?.......

That where they found my mums gloves.

May I just mention. Care home kitchen, locked doors, both to the kitchen and on the fridge.....

Need to find out how it was done.... I could make a fortune selling the "trick" to magicians.... [cue mission impossible music]

 

[1954]

Oh gosh what happened? No wonder you feel in bits

I am with you x

 

[stillcaring]

Dear Wolfsgirl,

Much much sympathy! Is it possible that your mum wasn't attacked and that the witness was confused? I only know that when my aunt was in a lovely care home they used to get really weird reports from some of the residents and quite often it appeared that the incidents described had never happened. But it is UNACCEPTABLE that the CH aren't responding to your emails / phone calls. the one my aunt was in were brilliant at reporting everything to me, even accusations that they were 99% sure were not true, though some days it seemed like every time I came home there was another answerphone message from them about something my aunt had done, been accused of doing, or had had done to her.

Hope you get some sense out of them at the meeting. If not, find another CH.

By the way we had awful hearing aid problems too - and one of the residents used to collect other residents' false teeth and wear them instead of her own.... It does happen.

 

[1954]

Wolfsgirl what has happened I am worried about you?

 

[LadyA]

My aunt's mother, when she was in a care home, used to often present her with "gifts" when she'd visit - all nicely wrapped up in sheets of newspaper. Nice blouses, or a cardigan, or a handbag - with someone's belongings still in it! My aunt used to thank her profusely, and on her way out after the visit, pass the "gift" to the Manager!

The Nursing Home dau's grandfather was in before he died, I remember there was a man there for a while and he used to shout now and then. But then he hit another resident - a lady. And then it happened again, he hit a different woman. So he was sent to an EMI unit as the Nursing Home felt it was too much of a risk for their other residents - he was a relatively young (early 70s) man and quite bulky, and some of the lady residents were very elderly and frail.

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Hearing Seeing and Eating/ - Hi 1945 please see the thread with this subject heading. I will update meeting results this eve on that thread too. Thank you for your concern!

Wolfsgirl what has happened I am worried about you?

 

[1954]

I am flicking between threads. How are you this morning?

Kairen

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Yes wish I could link the threads! Still very upset about this but quite and quietly determined to get this sorted or Mum cannot stay there. Regardless of whether she is self funding (she is) she should be viewed as their customer. All residents are funding these CHs either privately or publicly and should be viewed and cared for as a valued source of income!

Think the problems occur at night as that was when her fall happened and the glasses, dentures and hearing aid, if ever found, could be taken more care of and stored safely overnight. Also I doubt whether Mum would know to go to her own room so think she needs to be encouraged at bedtime. Mum is frail and with the cast still on her wrist, she still needs help undressing and is night time incontinent.

I am going to ask about the alarmed presssure pad they used when she first went in which alerted staff if she was walking towards fire exits

I am flicking between threads. How are you this morning?

Kairen

 

[Wolfsgirl]

My Mum is one of only two people still able to walk in the CH. I don't think anyone takes her belongings. I have a suspicion the hearing aid which has now been missing for over a week, has ended up in the laundry with the duvet as it has been found in her bed before and as she is night time incontinent.

I will be calm today but if they mention 'pilfering' just scream

Manager is off sick so appt. with deputy who usually can't give proper answers - she will today!!!

My aunt's mother, when she was in a care home, used to often present her with "gifts" when she'd visit - all nicely wrapped up in sheets of newspaper. Nice blouses, or a cardigan, or a handbag - with someone's belongings still in it! My aunt used to thank her profusely, and on her way out after the visit, pass the "gift" to the Manager!

The Nursing Home dau's grandfather was in before he died, I remember there was a man there for a while and he used to shout now and then. But then he hit another resident - a lady. And then it happened again, he hit a different woman. So he was sent to an EMI unit as the Nursing Home felt it was too much of a risk for their other residents - he was a relatively young (early 70s) man and quite bulky, and some of the lady residents were very elderly and frail.

 

[1954]

You are right. They need to be treated like adults and respect

It seems that what ever stage or part of the dementia journey one is on it is fraught with problems for the carer

Did you say your have you a meeting tonight at the CH?

Kairen

 

[1954]

Alarmed pressure pads seem the way forward. Why did they stop using them??

Kairen