Mum Now Attacked in CH!

[Saffie]

The truth is that people act differently when the have dementia. It's a simple - and as complicated - as that. 'Collecting' other peoples' possessions is one of the things that can happen, aggression is another. We just have to accept that these changes occur sometimes. I'm sure that you are right and that your mother wouldn't take anything that didn't belong to her - prior to dementia - any more than my husband would hit out and punch a lady carer which he has done. Yes, I felt mortified to be told this and know that he would as well as he was never an aggresive person - if he didn't have dementia. As it is, he doesn't remember anything about it.
I would just concentrate on getting cooperation about the hearing aid. I'm glad the teeth were found. I think we have to prioritise our battles in care homes and the hearing aid seems important. I hope it gets sorted out quickly.

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Saffie, Karjo, Jude, Jessie!

Yes squirreling suits all purposes, much less offensive! Liking this word very much as it sums it up.

Hearing aids are ofcourse priority.

Who really cares in 'care' homes? Dentures missing over a week? Me visiting today saying 'can we try the ones you found' these ended up being Mum's missing ones!!!

What about those who do not have relatives visiting?

Sharon

 

[Carabosse]

It makes you wonder about those residents who have no one, no family, no visitors, do they get the same care as those who do?
Is there any way you could put a mark on your mums dentures so if they go missing again they may be easier to identify rather than asking her are these yours?

 

[Kathphlox]

One thing I need to mention is the loss of Dad's hearing aid whilst in respite care.

I had to write to the CH and demand they pay for it. At first the manager said it was not their policy to pay for lost items...

Remember, these hearing aids cost over £100 via the NHS.

I wrote back and again demanded that they cover the cost of a replacement as it was lost while he was 'in their care' and that the insurance policy which they must have by law would cover it. I got a cheque within the month, don't let them fob you off

On another occasion, Dad put his hearing aids in the washing box at home and we didn't notice, they came out very clean but completely dead.. I claimed off the house insurance and they paid up.. then guess what, after a week or two, the ones that had been through the wash burst back into life, so I just put the insurance payment in Dad's bank account

 

[Jessbow]

The dentist will be able to inscribe her initials on them with his drill thinggy.

A dremel tool would prob initial hearing aids.

There is a company called Able Label that makes small labels. Just a name would suffice, or ad address if you thought useful, or room number etc. not expensive

endless uses http://www.able-labels.co.uk/address-labels/original-cut-labels/original-cut-white-19x40.html

 

[garnuft]

I think you wil be able to make an appointment with the dentist, take the dentures and he will engrave the name on them or at least an identifying mark.
For spectacles I painted nail varnish on one arm and noted it and the colour(shocking pink) in the home diary, for hearing aids, I did the same, small dab in an innocuous place.

But I think Wolfsgirl has a more important point, these things are considered unnecessary or even inter-changeable, if it's in the care plan, carers wil have to take more notice and address the problem immediately rather than the person sitting, toothless(it's uncomfortable if you're not used to it) half-sighted or deaf...or all three!

No. It should be written into the care plan and they would take more care and notice.

 

[Wolfsgirl]

We couldn't just ask her we had to clean them first then get her to try them Lucky or what?!

It is the hearing aids which cause her most communication problem because she manages better than she should poor little love! Three months in the Ch and the best thing is she is safe, regular food and meds, has company but also wants to 'go home' - now where have I heard that before - so sad all these people have the same sort of longing to go to a home/family which no longer exist!

Will update you when I get a response...

Sharon

It makes you wonder about those residents who have no one, no family, no visitors, do they get the same care as those who do?
Is there any way you could put a mark on your mums dentures so if they go missing again they may be easier to identify rather than asking her are these yours?

 

[garnuft]

cross-posted Jessbow

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Brill thank you!

One thing I need to mention is the loss of Dad's hearing aid whilst in respite care.

I had to write to the CH and demand they pay for it. At first the manager said it was not their policy to pay for lost items...

Remember, these hearing aids cost over £100 via the NHS.

I wrote back and again demanded that they cover the cost of a replacement as it was lost while he was 'in their care' and that the insurance policy which they must have by law would cover it. I got a cheque within the month, don't let them fob you off

On another occasion, Dad put his hearing aids in the washing box at home and we didn't notice, they came out very clean but completely dead.. I claimed off the house insurance and they paid up.. then guess what, after a week or two, the ones that had been through the wash burst back into life, so I just put the insurance payment in Dad's bank account

 

[Jessbow]

http://www.able-labels.co.uk/address-labels/original-cut-labels/original-cut-white-19x40.html

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Thanks good idea I will mention it to the manager when I see her next week. Little things but they really do mean a lot in a person's life

I think you wil be able to make an appointment with the dentist, take the dentures and he will engrave the name on them or at least an identifying mark.
For spectacles I painted nail varnish on one arm and noted it and the colour(shocking pink) in the home diary, for hearing aids, I did the same, small dab in an innocuous place.

But I think Wolfsgirl has a more important point, these things are considered unnecessary or even inter-changeable, if it's in the care plan, carers wil have to take more notice and address the problem immediately rather than the person sitting, toothless(it's uncomfortable if you're not used to it) half-sighted or deaf...or all three!

No. It should be written into the care plan and they would take more care and notice.

 

[Sunbell]

I had problems with my mums hearing aids too.


Hearing aids, dentures, glasses were all put on care plan to be removed at night and locked in a cabinet until morning. BUT they still went missing

Mum would take them out in the day and wrap everything up in tissue paper, underwear, in fact anything she could get her hands on and most things ended up being flushed down the loo It was incredible what mum could stuff down the loo.

Unfortunately in a dementia home you have to get used to these things happening and no one is to blame as our loved ones cannot be watched every minute of the day. When mum was more mobile I found things missing from her room and other things appearing but eventually they were returned back to mum and other things back to where they came from. It takes a bit of getting used to but I don't worry about it anymore because if you 'enter the world of dementia' it unfortunately is what happens. The clients in the CH don't realise they are doing wrong or acting inappropriately because in their mind they are always right and it is us that is wrong

Please don't get too upset over your dear mum's behaviour, it is part of this terrible disease. Take care.

Sunbell

 

[Wolfsgirl]

Thanks will try - might change my username to squirrel!

http://www.able-labels.co.uk/address-labels/original-cut-labels/original-cut-white-19x40.html

 

[Witzend]

Hi no not at all because I know she is innocent - it seems to be part of the big change in her - it's just I don't like the 'pilfering' statements which to me is a softer word for stealing. I do find it insulting/offensive and want them to stop using this or similar words in relation to Mum.

Things often go missing in my mother's CH, but I've never heard anyone call it 'stealing' or 'pilfering' - they all know that people with dementia will often simply help themselves to anything they like the look of. You can't safely leave anything lying around even for a few minutes - after losing a pair of new leather gloves I now always take my bag and any jacket/cardi even when going just few yards to make her a cup of tea.
I once warned a 'new' relative not to leave her bag unattended (as she just had) - she gave me a very funny look and I swear she thought I was one of the residents (OK, I was looking a bit scruffier than usual ). Luckily one of the staff overheard and echoed what I'd said with knobs on.

 

[Wolfsgirl]

made me smile!

Things often go missing in my mother's CH, but I've never heard anyone call it 'stealing' or 'pilfering' - they all know that people with dementia will often simply help themselves to anything they like the look of. You can't safely leave anything lying around even for a few minutes - after losing a pair of new leather gloves I now always take my bag and any jacket/cardi even when going just few yards to make her a cup of tea.
I once warned a 'new' relative not to leave her bag unattended (as she just had) - she gave me a very funny look and I swear she thought I was one of the residents (OK, I was looking a bit scruffier than usual ). Luckily one of the staff overheard and echoed what I'd said with knobs on.

 

[jo76]

every time I go visit my nanna I look thru her wardrobe n 9 out of 10 times find items that don't belong to her (they are always hung up on hangers neatly which I know she cant manage) I take the items to to desk and staff say 'well she goes in other peoples rooms n takes things' I reply 'I know she does that's why I check her things n return them to you.' however when I ask where some of her belongings are (slippers, dressing gown, bras etc) they say the same thing - 'well, she does take other peoples things' as if its her own fault.

 

[21citrouilles]

I like the word collect or squirelling away,, as this behavior reminds me of it. Of course, all of the dementia sufferers who collect stuff do it because of confusion, and they don't have control over it. Nobody is guilty. I do hope that they find her hearing aids.

 

[starryuk]

Does anyone know where my mum's other shoe is? I/we/the carers have been looking for it for 3 weeks now!!! How can you lose one shoe? And it was almost brand new...and had her name in!

Not to mention the very expensive hearing aids that went 'missing' on mum's last visit to hospital...I am trying to claim compensation for them.

2 pairs of gloves, the new handbag that I bought her...the list goes on. I have given up to be honest...

Apart from hearing aids and dentures, I don't worry too much. Anyway, mum always seems to find 'substitutes' from somewhere...except for the shoe!

It could drive me mad, so I try not to let it.

Angela

 

[garnuft]

lol...@starry uk's mum finding substitutes.

Sorry, but it made me laugh.

 

[Christin]

Hello Wolfsgirl, I am pleased that you have made contact with the manager and I hope you get an understanding response.

Can I ask if the hearing aids are from the National Health? My FIL had them and had so much trouble, often they became very damp in his ear and he would remove them. At home we placed them in the airing cupboard each night to dry them out. Rambling, here. Anyway the hearing clinic did give us replacements for them, without seeing FIL. When he went into a NH they gave us a spare one, for us to keep at home, and we took it with us each time we visited, often swapping them over. I just wondered if you are able to obtain another one easily.

Very best wishes to you and your mum.