Mum has Vascular dementia and will not eat anyone any ideas

[Kathryn17]

Mum was diagnosed with Vascular dementia which came on suddenly in November 2012. She has COPD and suffered a chest infection ending up in hospital, and then got a water infection. We thought the sudden confusion was just due to the water infection but over xmas she became much worse, being admitted into hospital as caring for her nearly resulted in me having a heart attack.
She moved into a dementia unit in January, but for the last five weeks has not eaten a morsel of food.She has stomach ulcers and a hiatus hernia which showed on an endoscopy. She has tablets for this and is in no pain. However, nothing will encourage her to eat. I have exhausted every avenue, along with the doctors and carers in the home. I am at my wits end now as she is fading away before my eyes. She has lost an unbelievable amount of weight. She drinks very little but takes her medication and inhalers.he only bonus is, she is happy and pain free. Always laughing and so pleasant. DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING WE CAN TRY TO GET HER TO EAT. Regards Kath

 

[chris53]

Hello Kathryn, a warm welcome to you to Talking Point, so sorry you have need for us, but glad you have joined, I guess mum been assessed by the speech and language therapist to rule out any other problems when my own mum started showing symptoms of dementia she would not eat,and drank very little, our doctor prescribed ensure drinks, she did not like the milkshake ones but liked the juice version! food wise it was buffet style stuff, anything very tiny and easy to eat, on a very small plate so she did not feel overwhelmed, I also noticed mums taste had changed a lot and she liked anything that was very sweet, and rather mushy I cast my mind back to her "old" days and what she used to tell me she liked, things like jam suet pudding and custard- in fact anything with custard! (which you can load up with extra calories using full fat milk and cream) maybe your mum is now a bit "scared" of a full meal now and now needs to eat little and often and what she likes,when she likes, rather then a meal or a more healthy optionwith drinking maybe tiny glasses of something she likes, rather then endless cups of tea or tap water,have the unit asked you what mum likes to eat and drink? can you ask to see the food and drink options? and are carers available to "help" (encourage) her to eat? I really hope that some solution can be found for mum. Please do keep posting and reading, as I am sure lots of the friendly folks here will have ideas to help. Take care- Chris x

 

[Big Effort]

Hello Kathryn,

Welcome to the forum, not a place you want to be, but once you get here you will find so many nice people, more than nice, and the kindness I have experienced here has been second to none. And then there is all the good advice.

I am replying to your post to bump it up to the top of the list again, as the night shift may have just the person who can help you out.

I have no experience of this as Mum still loves her food. However dementia is a strange beast and does all sorts of strange things. Vas dem included. I imagine we are all going to have to think right outside the box on this problem you are facing.

Some random thoughts......
I see that tastes (and maybe smells) change with dementia. Mum has been known to stir jam into her boiled egg, and eat a fruit pie laden with coleslaw, and many a morsel that has had the rest of us gagging. I assume this is evidence of change of taste as most of us would prefer a fruit tart without the coleslaw. She mixed fish pate with jam recently too. So, with regards to your Mum, anything could have happened, even no sense of taste.

Could she have forgotten how to eat? Mum has forgotten how to poo in a toilet.... so people with dementia can forget anything. What about ensuring there are others, maybe people she loves, who eat with her. Maybe she could be tempted to copy what you are doing and eat right along with you?

What about things she used to love? Things with real flavour, perhaps even some homepressed juice - fresh orange, tangy pineapple, carrot - things with good colour and a bit of 'bite'. And you can join her and sip along with her?

Ulcers and hernias. Is she pain free? Not that I am doubting this..... but Mum fusses hugely with any bit of pain.... it gets on top of her. today has been a difficult day here because she has a sore neck..... we have all suffered as she spent the day shouting at me. Maybe it hurts when she eats?

Final straw I am grasping at. How about something tasty and full of impact like icecream. Just a teaspoon, that melts and tastes just wonderful? And if you try stroking her throat, just the front to see if you can get a swallow reflex. How well does she swallow?

And distractions. Maybe no others in room besides you. No tv or music or fluttering curtains. Mum gets very easily distracted (not while eating mind!). Perhaps a bowl of jelly, custard made with heaps of cream to add calories, or mashed potato, or icecream, youghurt.... just one bowl between you. You have a spoon and wax lyrical, and then she has a spoon?

This is such a tricky situation. I do hope I haven't bored you with my suggestions, probably all old hat...... and perhaps the night shift will be able to generate better ideas.

Do keep in touch. I hope to hear some news of progress soon. Take care of you too, as this is hard, BE

 

[jbwashington]

when my grandmother would stop eating, i would spoonfeed her ice chips (very soothing), then move to something more substantial like chocolate pudding or yogurt.

the doctors suggested that she be put on a feeding tube, but we decided against that, since it would greatly diminish her quality of life.

i'm happy to hear that she's upbeat and cheerful, that's awesome!

 

[Kathryn17]

Thankyou

Thankyou for the lovely welcome and your kind replies.
I have tried everything you have all mentioned. I only registered on the forum as a last bid to find help. I am glad I have as everyone is lovely.
Mum has been taking her medication and inhalers so she can still swallow. Everytime food is given to her (very small amounts) she feels sick. She tries to eat sometimes but can not seem to swallow it. She had an endoscopy which showed the ulcers and hiatus hernia. Shes on tablets for these but is not in any pain. I do know since she was diagnosed, that any pain is extreme. The doctors have tried so h=ard to help her. The carers in the home are amazing but are unable to get her to eat. She has two teddies that she calls the boys. I have even made a teddy bears picnic and we all (we meaning Mum a carer, the boys my great niece) sat around to enjoy the picnic but this did not work. Ive tried absolutely every angle, reversed phsycology etc. She was given Ensure but will not have them. She sometimes has fortisip and seems to drink them an odd time. I even had her drinking actimel but theres no fat in them.She is a happy character which is good, but the Eating thing is becoming serious now.