Rose, please do not feel guilty, your mother would not like you to do that. She would be remembering all the good things the two of you did together. We all feel we could have done more but we did as much as we could at the time and that is what counts.So cry when you must, and we all do, and than get up wash your face and go on with life. I am sure that is what you will be able to do in time, maybe just not right now.