• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

mum dying

roseg

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
26
Hi my mummy is in the final stages of alzheimers she has been in hospital for ovr three weeks now .she had pneumonia which is cleared now but she hasnt eaten or drank although she has had iv fluids. They eer taken out on mon aftrnoon .she has lost so much weight she is 55 yrs old and was wondering would anyone know how long it takes for people to die this way. My hearts broke but i dnt want my mummy to suffer. What can i expect ovr the next few days. Please help i dnt know were to turn.
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,524
North East England
Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this, roseg, and with your mum being so young too. My heart goes out to you for having to face this when you must be quite young yourself. I'm not much help in the way of advice, but could't just read your heartfelt post without responding. I'm sure people will be along shortly who have experience of the end stages and who may be able to help you more than I can. In the meantime, sending you love and strength xx
 

Ladybird23

Registered User
Feb 28, 2014
127
So so sorry Roseg. I cannot comprehend how you feel.

We are all thinking of you.

Best wishes.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,803
69
Dundee
I'm so sorry to read your news and realise how hard it us.

In my mum's last weeks we had help from the Marie Cure nurses, even though she didn't have cancer. They gave me this booklet which I found helpful. A lot of it us for a cancer patient who is dying but some is for the carer and us relevant to any terminal condition. I think that is in chapter 9.

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/globa...ing-for-the-end-of-life/end-of-life-guide.pdf
 

Ginnykk5

Registered User
Jan 6, 2015
70
Hemel Hempstead
My hart goes out to you, so sorry you have to go through this.
If she is now on tlc and they have taken all medical support away and the doctors have confirmed this is the end. It will all depened on her own strength. It could take anything from 4 days to a couple of weeks, it is really hard to tell. The nurse should be able to tell when it gets near the time.

This is a hard time, just sitting and watching. I do believe they can sense you are there even though they may not know you. Talk to her and hold her hand this will be one of the kindest things you will ever do in your life.

God bless you both x
 

Cloverland

Registered User
Jun 9, 2014
244
I was with my mum when she died, the end was very peaceful and I'm glad I was there, it helped with my understanding of her end of life, which was not as frightening as I thought it would be, but we are all different and not everyone would want to stay.

I'm so sorry you are having to experience this at such a young age. My advice is stay with her if you can and want to and don't hold back the tears.

The nurses will ensure your mum is well cared for and she will probably not be aware as her time nears. You asked how long will this go on, the nurses looking after your mum would be the best people to speak with about this.

Best wishes are with you at this difficult time.
 

roseg

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
26
Thanks everyone for replying. I just cant believe it .i am with her everyday playing music and talking to her holding her hand. She called her brothers name hes been dead for years i hope hes there waiting on her its a comfort. Im not ready to lose her.she has lost so much weight that my sisyer n i had to go into town to buy her clothes for her to wear in her coffin n whilst we did it i felt like i wad watching someone elses life im not sure im all there. Its very exhausting im staying with her in hospital tnite.i will keep you posted thanks all again so much..
 

angecmc

Registered User
Dec 25, 2012
2,108
hertfordshire
So very sorry you are going through this, your Mum is so young, it is a terrible illness. Just want you to know that people on here will be thinking of you and your family. Take care, hugs to you (())xx

Ange
 

Boney

Registered User
Dec 9, 2012
30
Thoughts

My thoughts are with you roseg and truly understand what you are going through. Just be there when you can, hold her hand and talk to her. Leave nothing unsaid, have no regrets but be prepared that she could go when you are not there. My mum went for weeks eating little, then nothing and only sipping liquid. She chose to go at a time when we were not there but due to arrive. I told her dad would be there at 1.30 and she died just before. I am sure she was sparing him that. That may sound strange to some but I truly believe she wanted that for dad. Look after yourself, you need your strength xx
 

cold feet

Registered User
Nov 19, 2010
22
Essex
I'll second what Boney says. Look after yourself, be there when you can, but be prepared for Mum to go when you are not there. A carer warned me, when Mum was near the end, that our loved ones often wait until we have gone to leave us. It makes sense - my Mum was never one to waste a visit!

I feel for you, your Mum is so young. I will be thinking of you as you go through this with your Mum.
 

roseg

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
26
Hi guys waiting on hubby comin in so i can go to be wit mum so thought wud check my thread again while kids r in bed im glad i did. I feel a little betr reading all your lovely words thank you so much each and evry one of you.i will keep u updated i will remember u im my prayers
 

Boldredrosie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2012
244
roseg are you feeling any better today? Hope so. It's hard what you and your mum are going through. My father died three years ago in a hospice following withdrawal of fluids and all treatment other than painkillers and sedatives. The care he received was excellent and very caring. I hope your mum is being treated as well as her end approaches. Do what Boney suggests: sit with her, hold her hand and talk to her. I hear that hearing is one of the last senses to leave us. Tell her what she means to you and how much you love her. If she hears, she'll leave the world happier and you'll feel a great deal better.
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,708
North West
This is a very sad thread roseg. I hope you are getting some consolation from the posts, some of them from people who have been where you are now.

I can only echo the sound advice. Look after yourself and do as much for her as you are able to. Nobody can do more.

My thoughts are with you and yours.
 

roseg

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
26
Hi guys had a great nite wit my mummy last nite she slept well and i even got her laughing cos i told her to get out of the bed it was mt turn to lie down lol. I didnt think she understood wat we wer saying just goes to show she does.
 

the hca2

Registered User
Feb 13, 2015
2
Hi my mummy is in the final stages of alzheimers she has been in hospital for ovr three weeks now .she had pneumonia which is cleared now but she hasnt eaten or drank although she has had iv fluids. They eer taken out on mon aftrnoon .she has lost so much weight she is 55 yrs old and was wondering would anyone know how long it takes for people to die this way. My hearts broke but i dnt want my mummy to suffer. What can i expect ovr the next few days. Please help i dnt know were to turn.
I'm so sorry to hear of your mum's and your suffering.I work with dementia and have experience of end of life care.being a care giver I can promise you that each and every care person that enters your mum's room will do with the sole intention of doing the very best they can for your special person. As careers we feel the loss of a much loved individual that we have become friends with and attached to.at the point of care your mum will be the most important person in the room and what ever can be done to ensure she comfortable will be done.I wish you and your mum the very best.