It's an awful situation, that many of us have to face. I have no siblings, so the decision is mine alone.
My Mum had 2 falls out of bed in the CH recently. Both caused severe facial and cranial bruising. As a result Mum went from eating hardly anything, to nothing and she was seen by the GP. The GP was suggesting Mum went to hospital for a CT scan, despite it being seen as unsettling and an upheaval for her, 'as that is what we normally do with head injuries, to ascertain if there is a bleed'. I asked if a bleed was found, what treatment would be given. The reply was; 'a burr hole would be drilled into the skull to relieve pressure .......... but your Mum is far too frail for that'.
'Then why are you even suggesting a scan?'
'Because I have to'.
I found this both ridiculous and frustrating, but it actually led into a sensible and valued conversation. The GP agreed that nothing was going to improve Mum's quality of life at this point - and I stated that I wanted Mum's final weeks/months/?? to be pain free, stress free and happy, with familiar faces around her.
GP was grateful that I was matter of fact and straightforward and a plan has now been put in place. No future hospitalisation will take place, meds are pre-prescribed and palliative care will be given.
I treasure every moment with Mum, and if there was something that could be done to make her situation demonstrably better, I would move heaven and earth to access it for her. But the sad truth is that she is very, very slowly slipping away. There is no recovery possible with this disease and her quality of life decreases by the day. She always hated hospitals and fuss and I just have to be brave and hope that this is what she would choose for herself, or choose for me if our situations were reversed.